Page 24 of Clear Shot
One of me at my college graduation, with my father, stepmother, Johan, and grandmother.
One of Claudia and me at Christmas one year.
Finally, one of my mother, who’s been dead for a long time.
I have a picture of Aiden and me on my phone; one we took last year at the beach. Claudia and Anders are in it too but I open my computer, pull up a photo editing program, and crop themout so it’s just Aiden and me. Then I upload it to a local photo printer. It says it will be ready by four o’clock so my plan is to pick up the print and buy a frame.
I’ll put it on the shelves in the living room and wait for him to notice.
I’m not sure why it’s important to me to make his apartment feel more like a home, but if I’m going to be here for a year, I want it to.
I should also spend some time updating my resume and getting a feel for the jobs out there, but I deserve a few days to wrap my head around all the changes in my life. Aiden leaves on a road trip next week, so I’ll have ten days to do those kinds of things. For now, I’m just taking things one day at a time.
After I shower and get dressed in what I’m going to wear to the game, I head out to pick up a frame and the picture. Then I pick up Claudia and we head to the arena together.
“How does it feel to be married?” she asks once she’s in the car.
“Weird,” I admit. “Like it’s real but it’s not.”
“Have you decided what to tell your dad?”
I snort. “He’snot the problem. It’s my grandmother who’s going to be grumpy.”
“You should just tell her the truth,” she says softly. “Your family loves you and they’ll understand.”
She’s right but she’s also wrong.
“My grandmother wants me to be married, have a few babies, and live a more traditional life, whether it’s here or back in Slovakia. In her mind, a fake marriage is just delaying the future I should have.”
“I still think you need to come clean. Lying to your family is going to be complicated.”
“Everything about this situation is complicated.”
“If you’d stop pretending that you don’t care about him it might be easier.”
“I don’t have the luxury of falling in love with him,” I admit. “He’s been clear that love isn’t his thing. He’s good with marrying me, being faithful, even waiting for me to be comfortable before we have sex, but I don’t think he’s going to fall in love with me. It’s a business arrangement—potentially with benefits.”
“That’s ridiculous. Anything could happen once you start spending time together.”
“Everything is going to change once we have sex, and even though I asked for a little time before we do that, we know it’s going to happen.”
“Change in what way? Better or worse?”
“I don’t know, but probably both. Better short-term, worse long-term.”
“Look at Anders and me. We met and I got knocked up almost right away. I was positive he wouldn’t want to be with me after his ex tried to trap him that way—but I was wrong. Maybe you are too.”
“I think it’s different with us. You and Anders started dating right away, so you were in a relationship. Aiden and I agreed we were better off as friends before this came up.”
“And yet—he jumped at the chance to marry you. You can’t honestly believe he doesn’t have some kind of feelings for you. Maybe it’s not love, not yet, but there’s something there.”
“Chemistry and physical attraction,” I say. “What happens when he gets bored?”
“Who says he’s going to get bored?”
“I don’t know.” I focus on the road ahead. “I guess I’m just freaking out a little bit. From the outside looking in, it’s a piece of paper. We signed a prenup so we’re both protected financially, but everything else about our relationship has changed. I movedin with him and slept next to him last night even though we didn’t do anything.”
“Whose idea is the no sex thing?” she asks.
