Page 31 of Clear Shot
“Of course not. But we’re friends, Aiden. You putting your arm around me or holding my hand in public isn’t a big deal. We’ll be fine.”
He meets my gaze and his is full of regret.
“I would have given it a real try for you, Hana. You’ve always been special.”
I don’t know if that helps or hurts, but there’s nothing else to say.
I’m not ready to commit to never having children and I’m not the kind of woman who expects a man to change for her.
No, it’s better I found out now.
Before my heart got involved.
I spendthe next two days buried in resumes and applications and online job research. It would be easier if I’d gotten my Master’s, but I was reluctant to let Johan support me any longer than necessary. I thought going home to Bratislava with a degree from MIT would make my life easier but that wasn’t the case. It wasn’t until Claudia was hired by VineTech that she got me the interview and I found a job in my field.
Now I’m rethinking a lot of things.
If I go back to school, I can get a student visa and then I won’t have to be married to Aiden. It would give me two years to find another job or for Claudia to get her new company off the ground. I have plenty of money saved to pay for both tuition and living expenses, so I wouldn’t need Johan to finance it for me. I might run out toward the end but I’m okay with him helping a little, I just didn’t want him to pay for it all.
Of course, if I go that route and I don’t find a job, I wind up going back to Bratislava with nothing. The money I have saved is enough to buy myself a nice, modern apartment in the city. If I spend it on furthering my education, I don’t know where that will leave me.
Claudia’s software program isn’t ready, and though I have faith in her, nothing is guaranteed. So finding another job would be necessary for me to stay, and I couldn’t find one after getting my Bachelor’s.
Everything feels chaotic right now and I really wish I had someone to talk to.
Claudia and Sloane are supportive, but there’s nothing they can do and since I can’t tell anyone else the truth about my relationship with Aiden, I can’t ask for advice either.
My grandmother.
She’s always been the rock in our family, and though she’ll be upset that I kept something like this from her, she’s always the voice of reason.
“About time you called,” she says by way of greeting when I call her.
“Sorry. It’s been a little bit crazy.”
“I imagine eloping with one of your brother’s friends is very crazy.”
Yikes.
How did she find out?
“I have ears everywhere,” she says before I can respond. “I was just waiting for you to get the guts to tell me yourself.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just…it’s not what you think.”
“Oh, I can guess what it is. You needed a visa and you asked that boy you’ve always wanted to help you.” She doesn’t sound happy with me at all.
How the fuck does she know that?!
“Stop reading my mind,” I mutter.
“Tell me what’s happened,” she says matter-of-factly. “Something is wrong. I can hear it in your voice.”
I tell her the whole story, ending with Aiden’s vasectomy.
“I see.” She sounds less annoyed and more confused now.
“Do you?” I ask. “Because I don’t.”
