Page 26 of Sipping Seduction
“If you do that, she’ll know for sure you were snooping around her closet.” Miller shook his head. “Only you would get yourself into a situation like this.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? I was trying to save her beaver blanket from the dog, that’s all.” I’d provided a thorough run-through of everything that had happened since Frannie left to go on her date. I hadn’t had a choice. When he walked in the door and Pete the Dog rushed by with a chewed-up vibrator in his mouth, Miller pretty much demanded to know what the hell was going on. I didn’t blame him.
“No good deed ever goes unpunished. Isn’t that what they say?”
I wanted to wipe the smug grin from his scruffy face, but he was right. “You think it was a mistake for me to let Frannie move in?”
“That’s not what I’m saying at all. I think you’re a masochist for putting yourself through that kind of torture, but that’s just my opinion.” He set his hand on my shoulder and leaned forward. “Dude. Look at that one. It’s got a remote control.”
“I’m not buying her a remote-controlled vibrator.” I buried my face in my hands. “She’s going to be back in a couple of hours. I need a plan, and I need it now.”
“Whatever you order online won’t be here for a few days. How often do you think she goes at it? You might be better off checking the Kink Closet to see if there’s something you can get your hands on tonight.”
“You think they have a Magic Mick model in stock?”
“Why don’t you call and ask?” The smug smirk returned, this time even smugger than the last. “If they’ve got it in stock, I’ll even run out there with you to pick it up. Maybe even get something Amalie and I can put to good use.”
“Stop talking.” I didn’t want to have images of my brother and his fiancée playing with something he picked up at the Kink Closet floating around in my head. I picked up my phone and glared at Pete the Dog. This was all his fault. He didn’t look like he felt any remorse. While I dialed the Kink Closet, he lifted his back leg and leisurely began to lick his balls. Or where his balls would have been if they’d still been attached. At least I still had that going for me.
A deep voice answered. “Kink Closet. What’s your pleasure?”
This was going to be one of those evenings in my life I’d look back on and laugh. Once I came clean with Frannie and told her how I felt about her and we fell madly in love, we’d reminisce on this night and laugh our asses off. I just had to get through the rest of it in order for it to turn into one of those moments.
I cleared my throat and avoided looking at my brother. “Hi. Um, I’m looking for a certain model of, um, vibrator, and I wanted to see if you have it in stock.” That wasn’t so hard. I’d survived basic training. Surely, I could handle a short phone conversation.
“Is this for yourself, sir?”
“No. It’s for a friend.” Damn. Rookie mistake. Everyone knew that when you said something was for a friend, it was really for yourself. “My girlfriend,” I added.
“Is she interested in single penetration or double?” He sounded bored, like we were discussing the weather patterns over the eastern seaboard instead of my fictional girlfriend’s penetration preferences.
“I actually have a model name I can give you. It’s the Magic Mick.”
“Is there a manufacturer name?”
I put my hand over the bottom of my phone and turned toward Miller. “What’s the manufacturer's name?”
Miller squinted at the bottom of the vibrator. “Looks like it says Make Me… I can’t figure out the last word. Part of it got chewed up.”
“Make Me Come,” the man on the other end of the phone said.
“Excuse me?”
“The name of the manufacturer is probably Make Me Come. They’re a popular vendor of ours. Hold on a moment and I’ll see which of their models we have in stock.” Instead of elevator music, soft moans played through the phone. No wonder people preferred to shop for their kinky shit online.
“Did he find you a Magic Mick?” Miller asked.
“He’s checking. Evidently, Make Me Come is one of their popular vendors.” I crossed my fingers, hoping he had a Magic Mick in stock.
“Sorry, sir. There’s been a recall on the Magic Mick model. Evidently, it can short out and actually catch fire with prolonged use. We’ve got a Thick Rick or a Girthy Garth in stock if you’d like me to set one aside for your, um, friend.”
“It really is for my friend, my girlfriend.” I couldn’t believe he was giving me shit about that.
“The Kink Closet is a safe space, sir. There’s no judgement here.”
“It’s not for me. I’m buying a gift,” I said. The rational part of my brain recognized there was no value in continuing the conversation. It shouldn’t matter if a guy who worked behind the counter at the Kink Closet thought I enjoyed shoving a vibrator up my own ass or not. But a part of me couldn’t let it go. “My dog ruined her Magic Mick, and I’m trying to replace it.”
“Did you want the Girthy Garth? We’re open until two.”
