Page 63 of Sipping Seduction
“Do you know why she does that?”
“Yeah, Einstein. She doesn’t have a choice. Her parents put so many expectations on her when she was little. She was their miracle baby, the one they never thought they’d be able to have. They always talked about how happy she made them, so she grew up thinking she was solely responsible for making sure they were always taken care of.”
Miller sat with that for a few silent, drawn-out minutes. Then he turned toward me and shook his head. “That’s not what love is, dumbass.”
“Oh, so now my baby brother is going to give me a lesson on love? Haven’t I suffered enough already today?”
He ignored my protests and got up to empty his cup into the sink. “Love is taking care of each other. It means having a partner who can be strong when you’re not. And taking care of someone doesn’t always mean physically. Frannie might not need you to help her with physical stuff, but she needs you to take care of her emotional needs. There are different ways to support a person.”
“Well, I seem to have fucked that up, too.” The pool of self-pity I was wallowing in grew deeper by the second. I couldn’t even stand myself. There was no way I could expect someone else to love me, much less tolerate me.
“So your plan is to leave? Start over somewhere new with a bum leg and no support?” Any hint of emotion had leeched from his voice. He looked over at me, his eyes neutral and unfeeling.
“I’m probably going to need surgery now. I don’t want to burden anyone.” Damn, it hurt to say that. Like dragging a heavy spiked weight up through my chest and spitting it out. My throat burned from the effort.
“Want to know what I think?”
“Haven’t you spent the last twenty minutes telling me that already?” I shot back.
Miller got up and pushed the chair back in place. “I think you’re a coward. You’re right, Frannie does deserve someone better. Someone who’s willing to fight for her, even if he’s only fighting against himself.”
“You’re saying I should kick the shit out of myself? Is that your final piece of advice?”
He put his palms flat on the table and stared into my eyes. “The choice is yours, Evan. You can run away from your problems and be miserable. Or you can face them head on and let the people who love you help you through.”
Miller made it sound so easy, and maybe it would have been for him. We were different, though. He had his demons, and it sounded like he’d faced them head-on and come out the other side whole.
And that was the difference.
No one could tell by looking at him what kind of toll his struggles had taken. With me, there was no hiding my weakness. It was right out there in the open for anyone to see. For anyone to pity.
“You and Frannie are good together and despite what you think, she does need you.” He set his hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Let me know what you decide to do.”
All I could do was nod. I was too choked up to try to speak. Miller and I hadn’t always been close, but since I’d been back, we’d spent a lot of time together, and out of all of my siblings, he was the one I trusted the most. If he thought I wasn’t a complete lost cause, maybe there was hope.
CHAPTER32
Frannie
“I don’t knowwhat to do, Dad.” I sat on the barstool at the counter of my dad's breakfast bar. I’d just finished telling him about what happened with Evan at the race. My dad topped off my coffee cup and set the carafe down on the counter.
“I can't imagine what he's going through right now,” Dad said.
“He's afraid to let anyone in. He thinks he has to do everything by himself. How ridiculous is that?” I buried my head in my hands. Evan didn't think of himself as a whole man. No matter how many times I tried to tell him and show him that he was enough for me, he didn't believe it. “I told him he doesn't need to do things by himself, that he can let people help him. I don't know how to be with him if he won't let me help.”
“Oh honey, that's what you've always done. You've always been there for your mom, and you've always been there for me. I don't know what we would have done without you, but you’ve got to start putting yourself first.”
“Making him happy is all I've ever wanted to do,” I said. “But he'll never be happy unless he feels like he’s whole.”
Dad shook his head. “The only thing you can do is work on yourself. What's going to make you happy, sweetheart?”
“That's just it. Helping you makes me happy. Being a resource for the students and staff at school makes me happy. Being with Evan makes me happy. Helping others is how I let people know I love them.” Ugh. So many tears. I reached for the box of tissues and pulled another one from the top.
“You don’t have to do acts of service to show people you love them. The best way to make the people who love you happy is to make yourself happy.” Dad handed me another tissue and grabbed one for himself. “If that means cornering Evan Bishop until he believes you, so be it. You’ve always given so much of yourself to other people. Evan just wants to take care of you.”
“Why can’t we take care of each other?” I blew my nose, not caring that I sounded like a tuba that had been severely bent out of shape.
“Have I ever told you about the time I served in the Gulf War?”
