Page 104 of Betting on the Bad Boy
“Mad? No. I’m absolutely livid. Why didn’t you come to me before? If I’d have known you wanted to write, I might have been able to steer you in a different direction.”
A tear slid down my cheek. “I’m so sorry, Mom. I love writing my books, and I’m not going to change my stories. The only regret I have is making a mess of things for you and Clem. I should have told you sooner.”
“Yes, you should have. Did you tell Carter about this? That poor man. He has such high hopes for your relationship.”
I stood and paced the narrow width of my living room. “There is no relationship with Carter. Don’t you see? We’d never work. He has no idea who I even am.”
“Honestly, Faith. I don’t think I have any idea of who you are either. Is this what you want? To come out to the world as an erotic romance author?”
“I don’t know what I should do. Do I try to hide? Deny that I’m Chastity Austen? I’m proud of my books, but I don’t want to make things worse for you.” I felt faint, like my legs were about to buckle out from underneath me.
“What do you want to do, Faith?”
“I’m not sure. I thought I wanted to work on publishing in literary journals and gain tenure at a college somewhere.”
“And now?” Mom asked.
“I don’t know. Everyone’s going to find out I’ve been hiding behind a pen name. I love writing. I just thought someday I’d write literary fiction, not romance novels.”
“There’s nothing wrong with romance novels, honey.”
“Oh, I know. It’s just some of my colleagues will probably look down on me, and I don’t want to cause trouble for you and Clem.” Most of the people I worked with turned their noses up at genre fiction. I used to be one of them until I started reading romance and realized how much I craved a satisfying happy ever after.
Since I’d been writing, I’d learned a lot of readers felt the same way. The world was a dark enough place. If I could provide a little light along with a happy ending, that felt like a worthy calling to me.
“It’s too late for that. As for your co-workers, how many of them have paid off a good part of their student loans by publishing? They can make fun of you, dear. And you can laugh about it... all the way to the bank.”
I smiled at her last comment.
She continued. “Did I ever tell you my first attempt at writing was a mainstream romance?”
I didn’t even try to contain my surprise. “It was?”
“Sure. As a single mother, dreaming of her knight in shining armor, I had all kinds of story ideas running through my head. I wrote three hundred and fifty pages of dribble and even sent it out to agents.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing. I had a little interest, but no one wanted to sign me on as a new author. When one of them mentioned offhand they were seeing a new trend develop in inspirational romance, I tried my hand at that.”
“And the rest is history,” I said.
“Pretty much. I needed a way to support us. I think things turned out okay.”
I took in a ragged breath. “Not if I’ve gone and ruined it all for you. I didn’t mean to let you down.”
“You need to figure out what you want to do.”
“Does that mean you’re not going to disown me?”
“Give me some credit, sweetheart. You’re still my baby girl and I’m proud of you. But I’m also disappointed that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me what was going on, and I’m going to need some time to work through it.”
“I’m so sorry, Mom.”
Claire sighed. “Can I offer one piece of advice?”
“Of course.”
“Don’t let anybody push you around and make your decisions for you. If you’re ready to own it, you need to be the one calling the shots.”
