Page 46 of Silver Fox's Secret Triplets
Lauren: 7:49 PM: Thank god. Now that you're vertical again, spill. What's happening with the mysterious man in your life?
My face heated. Lauren had been asking about Duncan for weeks, ever since I'd mentioned working for someone who mademe feel things I'd forgotten I could feel. I'd been deliberately vague, but she was persistent.
Ivy: 7:50 PM: You mean Duncan?
Lauren: 7:51 PM: Is there another one I don't know about? Yes, Duncan. The one you get all dreamy-eyed about every time his name comes up.
Was I that obvious? I watched Chrissy dump water over her elephant's head and considered how to respond.
Ivy: 7:52 PM: He's… incredible. Smart, funny, gorgeous in that silver-fox way. Makes me feel things I forgot I could feel.
Lauren: 7:53 PM: Uh oh. You're falling for him hard.
Ivy: 7:54 PM: Maybe. Probably. Definitely.
Lauren: 7:54 PM: So what's the problem? You sound miserable every time we talk about him.
I stared at the screen, my fingers hovering over the keys. Elena splashed water over the edge of the tub, and I absently reached for a towel to mop it up, buying myself time to figure out how to explain the impossible situation I'd created.
Ivy: 7:56 PM: Remember that one-night stand I told you about? The one that resulted in the kids?
Lauren: 7:57 PM: Yeah, the older guy you never named. What about it?
Ivy: 7:57 PM: It was him…
My phone stayed silent for so long I wondered if the message had gone through. Then it rang, Lauren's ringtone cutting through the bathroom acoustics.
"Are you fucking serious right now?" Lauren's voice was sharp with shock.
"Language," I muttered automatically, glancing at the kids, but felt like a fool knowing my children couldn't hear her.
"Sorry. But Ivy, are you telling me that Duncan—gorgeous, incredible Duncan who makes you feel amazing—is the father of your children?"
"Yes."
"And he doesn't know?"
"No." I kept my voice low, checking that Sammy was still occupied with making his toy submarine dive through the bubbles. "And I have no idea how to tell him. What if he runs? What if he doesn't want them? What if he's furious that I kept them from him for three years?"
"Okay, slow down. Take a breath." Lauren's voice shifted into her practical mode, the tone she used when one of us was spiraling. "You said he's incredible, right? That he makes you feel amazing and wanted?"
"Yes, but?—"
"No buts. If he's as wonderful as you keep telling me, then he deserves to know he has children. And more importantly, those beautiful babies deserve to know their father."
I pressed my free hand to my forehead, feeling a headache building behind my eyes. "I'm terrified, Lauren. What if telling him ruins everything? What if he can't handle it? What if?—"
"What if he's thrilled? What if he's been wondering about you for four years? What if he wants to be part of their lives?" Her voice gentled. "Ivy, honey, keeping this secret is eating you alive. I can hear it every time we talk. The guilt and fear are consuming you."
"But what if?—"
"Stop. You have to be honest with him. For your sake and for theirs. They're going to start asking questions about their daddy soon, and what are you going to tell them? And he could totally help you with what's going on. Imagine having someone else to rely on while you are taking care of your mom."
Her words were hauntingly true but I couldn't face it, could I? Tell Duncan the truth and risk him being so mad he fought me for custody while I was already battling things with my mom's cancer? I made an excuse to get off the phone and Laurenprobably knew I was getting rid of her, but guilt and shame were gnawing at my chest.
After we hung up, I helped get the kids dried off and into their pajamas, their earlier fever completely forgotten in the excitement of bath time. Elena chose her favorite nightgown with the unicorns, Chrissy picked out matching elephant pajamas, and Sammy insisted on the superhero set even though the pants were getting too short.
We went through our bedtime routine—teeth brushed, stories read, prayers said. By eight o'clock, they were tucked into their respective beds in the room they shared, Chrissy with her elephant, Elena with the book she insisted on keeping under her pillow, and Sammy with his collection of toy cars lined up precisely on his nightstand.
