Page 19 of Nothing to the Wedding
“I know that but this time it—it’s different this time.”
“Why is it different?”
“There’s a world out there.A whole bunch of people.They gobble this stuff up—”
“We need those people, Lo.You love those people.You play to this shit, you’ve never had a problem with it.I always give you the lead with media strategy.”
Because she wasn’t a defer type of woman.Some of their early memories adopted a different hue, knowing now what she didn’t then.
“It’s different,” she murmured.“I love you more than I love those people.This is your wedding too, you should be happy.This should be one of the happiest times in your life.You should be allowed to enjoy it just the same as everyone else without fielding wild, ridiculous accusations.”
“I got the girl; I don’t need anything else.”
“I feel sorry for her.”
Not “the girl” because she was the girl he got.The woman in the story, the fake mistress, she was the one who deserved their sympathy.
“I know.Do you really think this will matter?Shit happens, we deal with it.In the long run, who cares?When we look back at our lives…” He wasn’t all that big on looking back when forward was an option.“We’ll remember the wedding.We’ll remember the love.This will mean squat.”
Again, he was right, she took a deep breath.
“People are exploited for… Why do assholes like Whey get away with being the scum of the earth?No one comments on his life and he actually is having an affair.”More than one, no doubt.“You’re incredible.Smart.Funny.Gorgeous.You’re so kindhearted, so generous.You take so many hits—you’re a good man, Zairn Lomond.So good.God, it doesn’t cover it when—I love you.”
Their relationship was solid.She didn’t care what people thought about that so long as her and Zairn knew the truth.Which they did.This wasn’t about her or them, it was about such an incredible man being so misunderstood.
“What we are is not their business.”
Those soft words did so much to bring her peace.
“Never.”
“Isn’t it what you tell your girls?Providing you and I are on the same page, that’s all you care about.We’re impervious to the bullshit.”
“I care about you first, before anything else.What if, with this or something else, they really hurt you and I don’t see it.I don’t want you to go through anything alone.They’re always coming after you.It’s a game, I get that, and, you’re right, I do enjoy playing it most of the time.I do… but if anything was to hurt you…”
Sometimes she wanted to do more.For all his talents, Zairn wasn’t the best at advocating for himself and often (see: always) put others ahead of himself.If anyone should be defending him, it should be his girl.Her missing signals had almost cost them their relationship once and Zairn got hurt.That wouldn’t happen again, she wouldn’t let it.
In the last year and a half, she’d learned the best way to ensure their intimacy was to give voice to her thoughts.To him.Zairn taught her the importance of communication.Even when she was muddled, only half making sense, she still said the words out loud to him.It always—always—made it better, cured her, soothed her… How had she ever survived without him?
“You know me better than anyone else ever has or will, Roxanna.”
“But I get distracted sometimes,” she said, frustrated at herself, “with the fun of it, the theater.It’s hot to have you like that, for us to be in on our own secret, our own truth, for them to get it so wrong.Except I could get caught up in the game and miss that something’s tearing you apart.”
“You know me, Lo, you won’t miss it.”
So she liked to think.But they weren’t always in the same room, the same state, the same country!Video calling was one thing, and they’d got good at it, but it was no substitute for looking into his eyes and breathing him in.
“I missed it before,” she said.“I tell you not to call when these things happen because it pisses me off if you think I’ve been hurt by a lie.I know it’s a lie.You never have to justify these nonsense stories.Since way back when.Don’t insult me by assuming I don’t know you.Of course I know they’re lies.”
“I know you do.”
“That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t call if they hurt you.”
“I got the girl, Lo,” he said, plain and simple.“I got the girl.”And that completed his world?She completed his world.Mmm, ditto.“Am I going to lose the girl?”
Her smile flourished; he knew the answer.“Not a chance, Party Boy, I signed that certificate in permanent ink.”
“That’s what I thought.So, tell me, why does Crosby’s tablet matter?You wanted to check out what he has that’s us related?Lies or truth, give it a few days and we’ll read about it in the papers.”
