Page 40 of When You're Home
Rhett shook his head and smirked before placing his arm across the front of her shoulders.
“I mean it,” he tried again. “This weekend just feels… different.” He let the word linger between them, refusing to fill in the blanks for her. Her response would be the greatest tell.
She stilled in his arms, her face turned toward the orange and purple clouds reflected in the water. He twirled a strand of her hair but didn’t say anything else. He wanted to give her time to formulate a response. He wasn’t going to force the conversation, as desperate as he was to have it.
“I know. I feel it, too. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know why I can’t fight it. But I feel it, too.”
Rhett’s heart practically leapt out of his chest at her admission. If thingsfeltdifferent, did that mean things were different? A rush of fear coursed through his veins. A warning bell was tolling deep inside him. The uncomfortable tightness of his throat was almost enough to stop him from pushing any further, but he knew he would never forgive himself if he didn’t at least try.
“Tori?” he asked, unsure of what he was even going to say next.
“Yeah?” She looked up at him again, this time reaching all the way up to run her fingers through his hair. She kept her arm raised, resting her hand on the nape of his neck. Her touch gave him the courage to continue.
“Do you think we can try this for real?” he whispered with unabashed hope.
A pause.
A breath.
And then, a response.
“Try…”
“Us. Try us. Do you think we could try being together again?” he clarified.
Tori said nothing. Rhett could feel his lungs protesting from the surplus of carbon dioxide, but he couldn’t bring himself to exhale. Every moment that she didn’t respond was weighed down by equal parts torture and anticipation. She hadn’t given him any indication this was going to end well… but she hadn’t said no yet, either.
“I don’t even know what that would look like.”
Her response was timid and reserved, but it wasn’t a no.
His mind faltered. His heart skipped a beat. He was desperate to find the right words.
“It would look just like this, V,” he vowed, panic-stricken as he waded into uncharted territory. He hadn’t expected to have this conversation this weekend. For a guy who loved a plan, he felt foolishly unprepared.
“It would look like this, but with everything out in the open. We would be official, and we would be exclusive,” he added, letting the last word linger for emphasis. “It would be me kissing you in public. It would be you telling your dad that I’m your boyfriend. It would be true and beautiful and real. It would be us just being us, now and when I move to Virginia, and I think it would honestly be easier than what we’ve been doing for the last three years.”
Another pause.
Another breath.
“It would be so complicated to explain…”
Holy shit. It still wasn’t a no.
“Yeah, you’re not wrong. But I don’t think it would be unexpected by anyone, and who cares what they think anyways?” Rhett sat up straighter. He was desperate to make her feel his sincerity, for her to take this seriously and give it her full consideration. “I know what I want. I know what I’m asking. I know you’re scared. But I swear I’ll be there for you and follow your lead. We don’t have to figure it all out tonight. If you’re telling me there’s a real chance for you and me, if there's a glimmer of hope that we could be together for real, that’s what I want. I want you, Tori.”
Rhett let the offer linger between them. A shiver rippled through his body. He wasn’t cold. In fact, he could feel the flush rising in his face as he waited for her to respond. He felt like he had just ran another six miles. His heart was beating too fast. He took a steadying breath, willing his body to release some of the fear, desire, and adrenaline blasting through his veins.
They had been here before. In fact, they had been here (or at least in some twisted version of here) just six weeks ago. Rhett propositioning her, wanting all of her; Tori denying him, keeping him at arm’s length. Rhett eventually accepting—settling, really—for whatever she was willing to give him, per usual. He knew this song and dance all too well, but this whole weekend felt different. Tori had just admitted it felt different for her, too. Was there hope that the conversation they seemed to have over and over again would end differently tonight?
Her silence fed the anxiety chewing into his confidence. And yet… she still hadn’t shot him down.
“Just say yes!” he exclaimed, frustrated and frantic. They were so close.
“Rhett, I can’t let…”
“Fine. Don’t say yes,” he interrupted her. “Not tonight, at least. We don’t have to figure it all out tonight. Tori, please. Just tell me that it’s not no,” he begged.
