Page 66 of While You're There
She shook her head obstinately, a look of determination in her eyes that he knew all too well. “It’s not safe,” she replied. “If I’m… If… It’s not safe for the baby,” she insisted as understanding clicked into place.
So they still hadn’t confirmed anything. He hadn’t missed the ultrasound she was waiting on. They still didn’t know if she was miscarrying for sure.
Rhett glanced from Chandler to the nurse. “Isn’t there anything you can give her that’s safe? Something to take the edge off?”
The nurse pursed her lips and looked at Rhett, then back to Chandler before speaking. “Am I permitted to speak about your medical care with this man?” Chandler nodded once to confirm. “Okay, I have a form you’ll need to sign saying so.” Then she turned back to him. “She can have acetaminophen. It’s the safest option for pregnant women, but she’s refused it all.”
“Chandler,” he whispered, not sure whether to scold or beg or to just leave it alone. She was clearly in pain, and she’d told him earlier that she first noticed the bleeding that morning. She’d been at the hospital for hours. She met his eyes but shook her head twice in protest.
“Chandler,” he growled out again. This wasn’t the time to be a martyr. If she was in that much pain…
“Why do you even care, Everhett?”
He stilled at her jab, hanging his head in shame as he thought about the last in-person encounter they’d shared four weeks ago. He had been rude and borderline cruel in his efforts to get her to leave him alone. Of course she thought he didn’t care.
His breathing stilled as he thought back to that day. He had spent days wondering why she had even wanted to see him in the first place. Realization dawned on him as all the pieces clicked into place.
“How far along are you?” he asked, reaching down to hold her hand.
“I would have been nine weeks tomorrow,” she replied quietly without looking up to meet his gaze.
Rhett ran his thumb over the pale skin stretched between her thumb and her pointer finger. There was no point in asking anything else. The timeline made sense, even if the exact encounter was unclear in his mind. He knew with certainly the baby was his. Or had been his. Fuck.
He also knew now that all those missed calls and attempts to contact him hadn’t been some game, as he had been so quick to assume. He had treated her like shit. He had treated the mother of his unborn child like shit. He had never felt so low in his entire goddamn life.
“Once they do the ultrasound, I’ll take something,” she relented. The defeat in her voice confirmed that she thought she was miscarrying. Not that he hadn’t already come to the same conclusion just from looking at her.
“I put the ultrasound order in over two hours ago, but they must be running behind tonight,” the nurse explained. “They should be here any time now.”
“Who’s they?” Rhett demanded.
“The ultrasound technician. They’ll bring in a portable machine and conduct a transvaginal ultrasound to confirm whether or not there’s a heartbeat.”
“And then who do we have to wait on to tell us the results?” He knew better than to assume that the ultrasound tech would give them all the answers they needed.
“Our on-call resident will review the images and the report once the ultrasound tech is finished.”
“What do I need to do to get the resident in the room while the ultrasound tech is here, so we know exactly what’s going on right away?”
The nurse pursed her lips again at his question. That seemed to be her favorite expression. “That’s not the standard operating proc…”
“That’s not what I asked,” he snapped back.
“Everhett,” Chandler scolded him softly, trying to reign him in. But he wasn’t going to stand for this. She’d been waiting for hours, and she was clearly in pain. He couldn’t change anything about what was happening or what he’d done or not done. But he sure as hell wasn’t going to idly stand by while she suffered now.
“Look,” he said quietly, changing his approach. “She’s been here for hours. If the worry and fear wasn’t enough, she’s very clearly in pain. If there’s a way to call for the resident as soon as the tech arrives, that would give us the answers we need sooner. I’m not asking you to bend the rules, but we could really use a little break tonight. Please. If there’s any way…”
“I’ll see what I can do,” the nurse conceded before wheeling her computer cart out of the room.
They were finally alone.
Rhett opened his mouth to speak first, desperate to try to chip away at the first layer of awkwardness and pain between them. But Chandler beat him to it.
“Thanks for that. And thank you for coming,” she offered meekly. There was no sarcasm to her voice, but there was no warmth either. Her tone was even and transactional.
“Chandler, I’m so incredibly sorry that I…”
“Please don’t,” she interjected. Her tone was softer now, almost pleading. “I don’t want to hear apologies or any groveling from you tonight. I’ve spent the last month and a half trying to call you, then finally gave up and just tried to figure shit out on my own. I’m grateful I’m not alone tonight. But tonight isn’t about you. You haven’t been here. You don’t get to apologize to me and try to make yourself feel better right now. I’m pretty sure tonight is the night they’re going to tell me I lost my baby… a baby I wasn’t sure I even wanted until I saw the blood this morning. I know this is probably hard for you, too, but you don’t get to pile on to my pain right now. I don’t have it in me to deal with your bullshit tonight.”
