Page 74 of While You're There
There. That was the black and white, cut-and-dry version of the story. That wasn’t as hard to explain as she thought. She would have told Fielding all of this eventually anyways, so it didn’t bother her if he knew what was going on now.
Fielding sighed after a few beats of heavy silence. “You’re a really good person, Tor.”
She held back a scoff in response to his praise. She wasn’t a good person. A good person wouldn’t have fucked up everyone’s life like this. There wasn’t anything good about anything she’d done, about the deep, unforgiveable pain she had caused. If he knew that Rhett and Chandler were only ever together because of her… or that Rhett went back to Chandler when she had convinced him she had sex with Fielding a few months ago… she couldn’t bear to consider what Fielding would really think of her if he knew.
Jake interrupted her spiraling thoughts as he merged the Jeep onto the highway. “Damn, I forgot how much I hate hospitals. Tori, remember that time we had to take Lia to the ER because she twisted her ankle drunkenly jumping off the pole barn?”
She knew what he was doing. He was trying to take her mind off things, to lighten the mood. She didn’t feel like she deserved to feel any happiness, but she took the bait anyway. “She wassomad at you that night.”
A grim shadow of guilt embedded in her heart as Jake set his cruise control at seventy-five MPH, heading north. She was leaving her husband in Columbus to navigate his pain alone. How the hell was she supposed to be okay with just leaving him? But she knew Rhett had been right in asking her to leave: There was no physical place for her at the hospital. He needed to focus his attention on Chandler and what they’d lost. Tori was a distraction; just an afterthought in this situation.
“Yeah, but I’d rather endure the wrath of Lia for a few hours than find out later that she broke her ankle and I did nothing. Have you ever broken anything, Field?”
“Yep. But just once, which is impressive considering I played hockey all four years at Arch. When we were six, Dempsey and I were goofin’ off, and I fell into the bedframe in our parents’ room. We weren’t supposed to be in there, so Dem convinced me not to say anything for a few days. By the third day, I couldn’t even lift my arm up to get dressed. Our mom finally noticed and took me to the doctor. My collarbone was broken in two places.”
Tori hissed in a breath through her teeth. “Ouch. How the heck did you keep quiet for so long?!”
Fielding chuckled. “Dem and I may be identical twins, but he’s technically older, and he’s definitely bossier.”
The conversation flowed easily as they settled in for the drive home. Tori was able to stay present enough to keep herself from slipping into her own anxiety about everything that had happened that night. About half an hour later that the conversation lulled and Fielding started to drift off to sleep.
His body was slumped against the window on his side, his long legs spread wide and taking up most of the foot well of the back seat.
“I know I’m just a hot, solid mass of hard muscle over here, but you can use me as a pillow if you’re tired, Tor.”
She smirked at his typical cockiness before adjusting her seatbelt and letting her back come to lean against his side. Fielding lifted his arm across the back of the bench seat so she could rest her head on him if she wanted to. She accepted his unspoken invitation and shifted her weight again, nestling into the gap between his arm and his chest as she took in the scent of his expensive cologne. She knew she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, but it was still soothing to lean on someone and let her body rest after being awake for almost twenty-four hours.
She glanced up to check on Jake, catching his eye in the rearview mirror. He’d been sipping an energy drink for the last hour, and she assumed it wasn’t the first round of caffeine he’d had that night, so he’d be okay if they fell asleep. He held her gaze and took in her position, offering her a smile that didn’t quite meet his eyes but that didn’t cast any concern or judgement either.
She waited a few minutes until she felt Fielding’s breathing slow before speaking up in a whisper. “Why’d you bring him, Jake?”
He raised both his eyebrows before answering. “I told you. He was at my house and…”
“Don’t bullshit me. He’s asleep,” she confirmed as she poked Fielding in the side. Her finger dug into the hard muscle under his T-shirt, but he didn’t move or make a sound.
Jake blew out a long breath before amending his answer. “He cares about you, baby. I didn’t know what the hell I was about to walk into coming down here, but I figured you were going to need a friend tonight. A friend who isn’t also Rhett’s best friend,” he clarified. “Plus, I knew I wouldn’t hear the end of it if I came to get you and left him sleeping at my house without inviting him along.”
“I feel like you two are having a lot of sleepovers lately,” Tori mused as she caught Jake’s eye in the mirror again. She raised one eyebrow in question. “Something brewing there?”
“Nah. That boy’s straight as an arrow. Besides, he only has eyes for one person in this car, and it’s not me.”
Tori winced. She knew there was a layer of truth to Jake’s observation, but there was so much more to her connection with Fielding than the surface-level attraction everyone liked to call them out on. He was the first new friend she’d made in years, one of the only people in her life who saw her for who she was as an individual instead of who she was as one half of Tori and Rhett. She couldn’t lose Fielding’s friendship. She wouldn’t. She was determined to do everything in her power to maintain a platonic relationship with him.
“He’ll get over that,” she offered.
“Yeah, I know he will. We talked about it the other night because I had to be sure. He respects you and values your friendship way too much to try and pull anything. I wouldn’t have brought him along if I thought there was anything to worry about.”
They were both quiet for a few minutes as she let his confession settle into her mind.
“Can I ask you something that might not land well?” The question snapped her out of her own thoughts. She nodded at him through the rearview mirror.
“Do you think Rhett knew?”
She chewed on the corner of her bottom lip, seriously considering the idea that had haunted her since the moment she read Chandler’s text.
“No,” she asserted. “I’m positive he didn’t know. I was standing next to him when he got the text.”
“Wait. What? Shetextedhim?”
