Page 89 of While You're There
He waited until she let out a satisfied sigh.
Then, because of an internal urging he couldn’t explain, he reached down, pulled out, and gave his throbbing dick a few fast, hard strokes. He groaned his own release as the warm cum spurted into his hand.
Tori stiffened, still straddling him, her eyes wide and unblinking. She looked like a deer caught in careening headlights: shocked, confused, and frozen in place.
“That’s not how that usually goes…”
Rhett said nothing, too stunned by his own actions to be able to provide any sort of explanation. Instead, he carefully lifted her off his lap, rolled to his side, and reached over for the box of tissues next to the bed.
“Ev?” she questioned with a hint of panic in her voice. “What just happened?”
He took his time cleaning off his hand, not ready to turn around and face her. What the hell had just happened? What the fuck had he just done?
“Do you need one?” he offered, holding out the box of tissues without meeting her gaze.
Her response was clipped and angry. “Nope. Looks like you kept it all to yourself today.”
He turned his head on instinct. Sarcasm wasn’t her usual style. He met her stormy gaze and let out a long breath, but remained quiet.
“Rhett. Talk to me,” she demanded.
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Please.” She reached over and took his hand, urging him back to the middle of the bed. “Please talk to me.”
“I just wasn’t sure with all the egg retrieval stuff if it was a good idea…” he tried.
“Nope. Not good enough.”
Was she actually angry with him right now? Sure, it wasn’t something they had talked about, and it was a little embarrassing, honestly, but why the hell did she care so much?
“You were at the appointment when Dr. Silko explained that my IUD would be effective through the entire egg retrieval process, and that we didn’t have to worry about any other form of birth control until it comes out right before my surgery. Plus, I would have stopped you if it was an issue.”
He leaned back against the headboard to match her posture, but maintained a sliver of space between them. He ran his hand through his hair over and over again, desperate to be done with this conversation. “I guess I forgot about that.”
“That’s bullshit. You had the forethought to ask about hurting me and about what not do. Then you had the wherewithal to pull out. So was that really even about me? About the egg retrieval?”
He said nothing. Not because he didn’t want to answer her. But because he didn’t have any answer to give. He had no fucking idea why he did that. The more she pressed, the more confused he felt.
“Or was that about Chandler?”
He stilled at the accusation. He hadn’t thought of that.
“I… I don’t know.” He honestly hadn’t considered pulling out in advance. It just happened. “I didn’t mean for it to be about that,” he swore. “I would never want you to think that’s what I’m thinking about when we’re together.”
A charged, awkward silence stretched between them. He felt like he was about to lose it. He had already lost his baby. He was on his way to losing himself. He couldn’t lose her, too.
“Come here,” he pleaded, reaching across the small space between them and pulling her into his arms. “I’m sorry, V. I feel like all I can do lately is apologize to you, but I’m so fucking sorry.”
“You don’t have anything to apologize for. I’m not upset about you pulling out. I’m just worried because you’re bottling everything up instead of talking to me. I just want you to open up and let me be here for you. Let me take care of you for once.”
He looped an arm around her shoulders and shook his head back and forth as he buried his face in her hair. He had everything to apologize for. He had messed up so many fucking times. She had enough on her plate without him adding to her burden.
“You can tell me anything,” she prompted. He knew that. He just didn’t know where to begin, and he worried once he started, he wouldn’t be able to stop.
He bit down on the inside of his cheek, working his jaw back and forth as the tension spiked inside him. She was just trying to help, but he couldn’t talk about the miscarriage. Not right now. Not when he didn’t have a release to work through all the feelings threatening to boil over. Not when he’d just promised Jake he’d cut down on the drinking.
“I know you’re sad, Ev. I know you’re upset. Those are all normal things to feel.”
