Page 10 of When You're Home for the Holidays
“Don’t give me that lip,” he countered as he reached over and pinched her pout between his fingers. He held her mouth together for another second as he narrowed his gaze. “I mean it.”
“I feel guilty. Your life was turned upside down this year because of our drama…”
“Baby. Seriously,” he scolded, giving her a pointed look. “You know I wouldn’t have had it any other way. Having a chance to show up big time for my friends meant more to me than you’ll ever know.”
She swallowed down a lump of emotion and nodded in understanding. Jake had always insisted he didn’t know how he’d repay her and Rhett for what they’d gone through—what they helped him through—in high school. Maybe everything they had endured together this year would finally feel like enough.
“Besides,” Jake added, his tone back to its usual playful cadence. “It was kind of nice to have a break from the chase. It was like taking a recovery day for my libido. Now I’m primed and ready to come back rowdier than ever.”
Tori closed her eyes and shook her head at his ridiculousness. She knew Jake wouldn’t let her flounder in her guilt. He was too good to her, truly.
“So what are your plans for today?” he asked through a yawn.
“I think I might bundle up and take Penny on a walk around the lake. I know it’s drizzly and gross outside, but I just feel a little wound up right now.”
She was worried about Rhett making it home for the holidays—they all were. She desperately wanted to be with him, and she was also concerned about how he would cope if he couldn’t get back in time for Christmas. Those stressors were apparent.
What she wasn’t saying was that she was also battling increasing anxiety about her next surgery. She’d be undergoing a risk-reducing sensation-preserving mastectomy with immediate implant reconstruction next week. Somehow this surgery felt more significant than her hysterectomy. Maybe it was because this one would result in visible outward changes to her body. Maybe because there was more to the recovery this time around—more follow-up appointments, more unknowns and possibilities for the final outcome.
The surgery would be performed by a dually-trained oncologist-reconstructive doctor, but there was no way to know for sure what her new boobs would look like or how much sensation she’d still feel until months after the surgery. The stress about what she was sacrificing without a clear picture of the final outcome festered in her mind.
She also had a residual uneasiness about being apart from Rhett when she was about to embark on the final phase of the elective surgeries that had dominated so much headspace for the last ten years. Most days, they managed their long-distance relationship just fine. But the prospect of another surgery was looming, and so was the bitter reminder of how things hadn’t gone as planned earlier that year.
Rhett hadn’t been there for her when she went through the egg retrieval procedure before her hysterectomy. Even after he swore they were in it together. Even when he promised her she wouldn’t have to go through it alone. Her heart had forgiven him, but her nervous system still got panicky from time to time. She needed him now—physically yearned for him—as she geared up to face her darkest demons with this final surgery.
“I’ll go on a walk with you, Tori,” Fielding chimed in as he walked across the kitchen to snatch up the coffee Jake had poured him.
She shook her head. “Thanks, Field, but I want to be by myself. I don’t have any of my paint supplies with me, so a long walk is the next best thing to try and calm my nerves.”
Fielding stuck out his lower lip like he was going to protest, but Jake punched him in the shoulder. A silent but seemingly heated argument passed between the two men before Jake shook his head once. Fielding scowled, then turned around and headed back to the stove to peer over Judy’s shoulder.
“Want me to go with you?” Jake muttered under his breath low enough so only she could hear. This man. She knew she could say yes, and he’d walk wordlessly beside her for miles, just letting her work out her thoughts and be in her own head.
“No, really, I’m good. I’ll take my phone,” she insisted before he could pull a Rhett and try to barrage her with safety reminders. She wanted to go down to the bench swing for a while. She wanted to stand in the spot where they’d said their marriage vows that summer. She just wanted to be alone so she could reflect on all the beautiful and hard of the last year.
Jake nodded and took another swig out of his Clinton’s mug. “I’ve gotta get Fourth Wheel around four pm, but I’ll come find you before I leave, okay?”
“You know she hates that nickname,” Tori reminded him.
“I know,” he chuckled.
“Tori, are we busting out the big guns today or tomorrow?” Fielding asked from across the kitchen. Judy had him on skillet duty now, so he barely glanced up as he focused on achieving French toast perfection. Jake shot her a questioning look.
“I promised him we’d use my mom’s antique cookie gun to make Spritz cookies,” she explained, rolling her eyes at the ridiculous pun.
Jake planted his elbows on the breakfast bar and hung his head in mock-shame. “Ya know, I never actually wanted a kid of my own, but I gotta admit it’s kind of fun having one around at Christmas.”
Chapter six
Rhett
Rhett:Heybro.Canyou talk? Call me when you see this.
He bounced his leg up and down nervously as he waited for a response.
Jake: Give me two minutes. I’m in the basement so reception is spotty.
Rhett ran his hand through his hair once, twice, then a third time, most likely messing up the way he had styled it when he got out of the shower an hour ago. He had slept well enough considering how keyed up he felt inside. Now that he was rested, showered, and caffeinated, he just wanted to be in motion.
