Page 11 of When You're Home for the Holidays
His phone rang in his hand, Jake’s goofy grin lighting up his screen and forcing a smile from him he didn’t know was possible in his current state of mind. Fuck, he missed his best friend. Almost as much as he missed his wife. He just needed to get there.
“Hey, bro.” His voice felt shaky, even though his resolve was already firmly in place. He cleared his throat then tried again. “Thanks for calling.”
“Hey, yeah. We’ve been wondering when we’d hear from you. What’s the latest?”
“Is—is Tori around?” He needed to know whether she was listening in on one half of their conversation, or if he was possibly on speakerphone.
“Nope. She took Penny on a walk a few hours ago. She’s by herself, but she has her phone,” he added quickly, answering the question Rhett had yet to verbalize. “Do you want me to text her and have her head back so you can talk to her?”
“No, no,” he insisted. “I wanted to talk to you alone, actually.” He cleared his throat again, determined to vocalize what he was planning to do. He paused for a moment to collect himself, steadying his heart rate by blowing out a long, slow breath. “I’m gonna drive,” he finally declared.
“I know it’s not ideal,” he continued before Jake could offer an opinion. “And honestly? I’m scared shitless. But there are no flights. The company jet isn’t available. And I refuse to ask my regular driver to make the trip knowing he wouldn’t make it home in time for Christmas with his family. So this is what I have to do. I’ve already rented a car, and I’m scheduled to pick it up in a few hours. I’m going to try to drive straight through, but I’ll stop and rest if I need to. If all goes according to plan, I should get there just before sunrise.”
“Fuck… Are you sure, bro?”
“I’ve never been less sure about anything in my life. But I have to try.”
“Fuck,” Jake repeated. They were both silent for several seconds before he spoke up again. “No chance you can find a polka van?”
“Huh?”
“Sorry… Fielding made us watchHome Alonelast night. That’s probably not a realistic option now that I think it through.”
He knew what Jake was doing. He was trying to lighten the mood, to somehow lessen the density of what felt like an impossibly scary scenario.
“Not helping…” Rhett muttered as the gravity of the situation sunk in.
Jake spoke up again, his tone more serious now. “Yeah, sorry. WhatcanI do to help?”
Rhett blew out a long breath before sharing his request. He hated that it had to be like this, but he couldn’t stand the thought of disappointing her even more if his plan went to shit.
“I hate to even ask this, but can you not tell Tori? I’m not trying to be shady or keep secrets,” he rushed out defensively. “I’m just not sure if this is going to work, and if I have to turn around, or I don’t make it after all… I don’t want to give her false hope. I won’t ask you to lie to her. But if you can just not offer up details about what I’m trying to do, that would feel like less pressure.”
“I’ve got you. And I agree. She’s already on edge as it is.”
“What do you mean?”
Jake sighed. “She’s okay, but she’s not really herself right now. She’s just going through it between you not being here and the stress of her surgery, I think.”
Rhett unconsciously let out a low growl. He hated this. He hated knowing she needed him and not being able to get to her. Long distance was usually okay. Hell, they’d done some version of a long-distance relationship for years, and they had really hit their stride over the last few months after his accident. But this was the shitty part. The physical longing to hold her is what gutted him the most. Especially now. Especially for their first Christmas as husband and wife.
“I’m not saying that to get under your skin,” Jake promised.
He knew that. It didn’t change the reality of the pain he felt because of the confession.
“And you need to know that she’s definitely more worried about you coping, or I guess not coping, if you don’t make it up here in time than she is about you not being here. So yeah, I won’t say anything, but if she asks, I’m going to have her call you so you can explain things yourself. Deal?”
“Deal.” He dragged in a slow breath and counted to five in his head, letting himself feel the anxiety and disappointment and frustration before visualizing all those emotions flowing out of him with his next breath. He’d been doing that a lot lately—admitting to himself when things felt hard, or heavy, or overwhelming— then releasing them any way he could, whether it be with breathing tools, exercise, or talking it out with his sponsor or therapist.
“How long is the drive?”
“It’s ten or eleven hours, but I know it’ll take longer with holiday traffic and this god-awful weather. I already told myself that if I’m tired or need a break I’ll stop home in Hampton and rest.”
“Good, good. You’ve got this, bro,” Jake encouraged him optimistically. “Break it up. Set an alarm for every two hours, call me to check in. I’ll answer. I’ll answer all night if you need me to.”
A lump of gratitude Rhett wasn’t expecting formed in his throat. “Thanks, bro. I appreciate that more than you know.”
Instead of responding, Jake hit him with rapid-fire questions. “You said you slept some, right? So you’re rested?”
