Page 2 of When You're Gone
After several empty minutes, she gave up on trying to respond, stashed her phone away, and buckled her seat belt. But instead of starting the car, she started to sob. The tears surprised her, and then they made her mad. What was her problem? After years of scans and anxiety-inducing appointments, she had just walked out of a doctor’s office without any sort of follow-up instructions or next appointment.
What was she supposed to do now?
She couldn’t pinpoint the cause of her breakdown, and although she wanted to believe it was from the relief she should feel, relief wasn’t even on her radar. If she was honest with herself, nothing was on her radar lately. All she felt was empty. The only real things she had left to cling to were the physical numbness in her chest and the emotional numbness that had burrowed deep inside her.
A gentle breeze made the tiny hairs stand up on the back of her neck and inspired a shiver that traveled the length of her spine. The March air was surprisingly mild—the temps hadn’t dipped when the sun set, instead holding steady in the low fifties. It was the first night that whispered a promise of spring, and it was one of the reasons they decided to relax in the hot tub. That, and they already had big plans tomorrow night at the Valet House.
“No way. You don’t get to talk about my new boobs, Jacob Whitely. You may be my bisexual backup husband, but we need to have some sort of boundaries,” she insisted playfully, banishing the dark memory from her follow-up appointment to the back of her mind.
She reached behind her to grab her own dark-green sports bottle. She held Jake’s gaze as she raised it and sucked in a mouthful of hard seltzer.
“Baby. I think we gave up on the idea of boundaries when Rhett had that meeting in Virginia and I had to learn all about emptying a post-mastectomy drain on short notice. I feel partially responsible for those boobs. They’re not your new boobs—they’reournew boobs. I’m proud of them.”
“Oh my god,” Fielding groaned, tilting his head back to rest it on the ledge of the hot tub. “Can we please talk about something else—anythingelse?”
Jake cackled. His reaction confirmed what she should have expected from the start—he was just trying to rile her up. Or make Fielding uncomfortable. Or both.
“You’re purposely being an ass, aren’t you?”
“Alright, alright,” Jake relented, running his wet hand over his face and adjusting his backward cap before spreading his large, inked arms along the back of the hot tub. “Let’s talk about next weekend. Rumor has it Jake and RhettBirthdayParties are even rowdier than regular parties.”
Tori rolled her eyes. Next weekend was her twenty-fifth birthday, and the guys were insisting on throwing her a birthday party. Usually, she would put up more of a fight, rallying against all the attention, but part of her was looking forward to the celebration. So much had changed over the last 365 days—she’d gotten engaged and married and had undergone the two risk-reducing surgeries she’d been desperate to have for years. If there was ever a year to celebrate being alive, it was this one.
“The party is Saturday night, right?” Fielding looked infinitely relieved about the subject change.
“Yep. Rhett’s coming home for the whole weekend. He and I have plans on Friday night, then the party is Saturday.”
“And it’s here?”
She nodded and took another sip of her drink.
“What kind of party is it, exactly, if Wheeler’s gonna be here?”
Tori lowered the bottle slowly, considering the unspoken question behind Fielding’s inquiry. She glanced at Jake to gauge his reaction. He offered her a half-shrug, deferring back to her.
“It’ll be a typical party. I know Rhett, and he won’t want anyonenotdrinking on his behalf,” she insisted, splashing water over the goosebumps on her arms to warm them. “But thanks for thinking of that,” she added, nodding appreciatively across the hot tub at Fielding.
He winked assuredly at her and took a long pull of his drink. Then he turned to Jake and asked, “Who’s coming?”
“Your brother offered to work for me, and Cole’s on the schedule, too, so neither of them will be here. Otherwise, it should be the usual suspects: Lia and Cory, Anwar and Teddy, plus some people who used to work with us at Clinton’s back in the day.”
“Don’t forget Maddie,” Tori added.
Fielding perked up at the mention of Rhett’s sister.
“Little Wheeler will be there?”
“She’s on spring break this week. She gets home on Sunday, I think, and she’ll still be around for the party next weekend.” Tori was looking forward to Maddie being home and having a roommate for the week. Nowadays she stayed at the Wheelers’ house almost every night, seeing as how her dad was seriously dating someone, and Rhett’s parents’ house just sat empty most of the time.
Her dad had never asked her to leave, but what was the point in making things awkward for him and Tricia when Tori had an entire house to herself just across the way? She was happy for her dad—elated, in fact—and she wanted him to enjoy this stage of his new relationship.
She had long suspected her father had waited to even think about dating until she was finally settled. Now that she was married, he seemed to be letting go of the past more easily—moving on and trying to carve out a life for himself beyond work and spending time with her. The irony was that he had never been the caregiver in their relationship. She’d spent so much of her teen years and early twenties taking care of him emotionally and financially. She was happy that he was happy, but she was also grateful for the reprieve.
“You want another drink, baby?” Jake asked, rising up from his seat as water rolled off his abs into the indents of the well-defined V that narrowed into his trunks.
“Yeah, I’ll have one more.” She squeezed her sports bottle into her mouth and emptied it before holding it out for him.
As he exited the hot tub, Fielding shifted over and took his place beside her.
