Page 48 of When You're Gone
He schooled his expression, desperate not to project his frustration onto her. But if she’d just talked to him… even if she’d just reached out to Quinn… He had practically begged her to figure out a schedule with him. He appreciated the sentiment behind a surprise visit, but it just wasn’t conducive to his life right now.
“So we have no time,” he admitted out loud.
“We have no time,” she repeated, slumping against his chest as if the weight of it all was too much to bear.
He didn’t know what to do. A mournful sort of acceptance passed through their embrace as he hugged her fiercely. He squeezed her even tighter as he growled his frustration.
He pulled away and ran a hand through his hair, inadvertently messing it up. The retreat didn’t start for two and a half hours. He only lived five minutes from the office, and he knew Quinn was already there.
“Okay. I have an idea. Give me five minutes, beautiful.”
“What are you going to do?”
“I can’t cancel this retreat. I can’t even delay it. But if Quinn finishes my presentation for me, I can at least steal an hour to be with you. You came all this way—I need to make time for my wife. There’s nothing I want more, love more, need more in this life than you.” He kissed her quickly but fiercely, making promises with his lips so she’d commit them to memory.
She stood awkwardly in the entryway, overnight bag in hand, as he started pounding out messages on his phone. “Why don’t you go wait in the living room? I’ll be right there.”
He finished rearranging his plans, confirming with Charlie that he should wait downstairs for him so he could spend time with Tori up until the last possible minute. He strode into the living room to find her sitting cross-legged on the couch, staring down at her phone.
“I probably won’t stay until tomorrow if you’re not going to be here.” She held up her phone to show him the airline app already open on the screen.
He nodded solemnly. He would love nothing more than to come home to her tonight, to spend all night worshipping her and making her feel every inch of his devotion. But he knew it wasn’t fair to ask her to stay. Not like this. Not when his brain was distracted, his schedule completely full.
“I’ll have Quinn get you on the next flight home.” He couldn’t overthink it. He wasn’t going to waste a single second making a case for her to stay. If all they had was this moment, then it would have to be enough.
He walked toward the couch to join her, shrugging out of his suit coat and draping it neatly over the side. Then he kicked off his shoes, undid his cuffs, and ripped off his tie.
“What are you doing?” she asked, a mischievous little smile dancing across her face.
God, he loved it when she smiled. He missed that glimmer in her eye. He ached for the spark that reminded him of the girl next door he had loved all his life. But as much as he wanted her—all of her—he only had one thing in mind for the very little time they had together.
He smirked before finally replying. “Don’t look at me like that, V. I don’t have anywhere near enough time to make love to you the way you deserve. I just want to hold you right now.”
“Yes, please,” she murmured on a sigh. She stood up and pulled off her own jacket before discarding her shoes and jeans. She stood before him in nothing but a soft V-neck T-shirt and cheeky lace panties. His dick twitched with interest, but it was his soul that won out with need.
“Come here,” he instructed huskily, spreading out on the couch, then extending an arm to invite her in. She crawled on top of him, situating herself in the crook of his arm so she could lie flat on her back. He traced lines up and down her shoulder with his fingertips and buried his face in her hair, inhaling deeply.
They lay in silence for the longest time, holding each other like two people who knew they were running out of chances to make things work. Why had she just shown up like this? Had she just burned through one of their chances unnecessarily?
“Thank you for coming,” he eventually murmured as he traced the outline of her bra with one finger. Their bodies couldn’t stop touching, their hands couldn’t stop exploring. They were a tangled mess of limbs. None of it was building to sex, but it was still intense and intimate.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you in advance or plan this better. I thought I was so clever surprising you…”
“Don’t,” he urged. “Don’t apologize. Don’t taint this. You’re here now. I’m holding you in my arms. And right now, this moment is perfect.”
She sighed and curled up smaller against his body. His skin tingled everywhere they touched. His hands continued to trace patterns up and down the length of her spine. She caressed his chest, idly outlining his abdomen muscles, as if trying to memorize every angle of him. It was like neither of them could get close enough to the other. It felt eerily akin to something like goodbye.
“Sometimes I wonder why it’s so damn hard for us,” she pondered as she stroked the hollow between his collarbone and shoulder. Her words reverberated in his brain, the sentiment burrowing into the darkest part of him. “Every time it feels like things are finally clicking into place, life shoves us down again. Do you think we’ll ever get a break?”
He felt compelled to comfort her, but he knew that wasn’t what she needed right now. This sadness—this yearning for things to not be so goddamn hard all the time—it wasn’t something he could fix. It wasn’t a problem that needed a solution. It was their reality. It was the “worse” in their wedding vows. It was the poorer, the sickness. It was something to endure, not something to solve.
“According to the law of probability, I think we have to catch a break at some point.”
She chuckled darkly at his joke. But she wasn’t done.
“Do you believe in happily ever after, Ev?”
It seemed like a nonsensical question for a guy who had been pursuing the same woman for more than a decade. Of course he believed in happy endings. But he took his time thinking through how he wanted to respond. Yes was too easy: not profound enough for the heaviness of this moment. But no wasn’t his truth. Finally, he came around to something worth sharing.
