Page 54 of When You're Gone
Seconds ticked by. She was ready to forfeit. But then he finally answered.
“Don’t push me. Don’t try me. Don’t think I’ll pull back at the last minute if you even so much as hint that this is a possibility.”
She sucked in a sharp breath as a mind-body connection took over.
She yanked her hand out from under his in defiance. The heel of her hand and the pads of her fingers tingled from scraping against the bumpy surface, but she relished the sensation. The pain instantly dissipated as she wrapped her hand around Fielding’s forearm again, this time brushing it with featherlight strokes.
He caught her fingers immediately, but this time, he didn’t pull them off his body. Instead, he traced his own hand up her arm, returning the caress.
“I’m not fucking around with you,” he snarled.
She gulped at the savagery of his tone, at the juxtaposition between what he said and how he touched her. But she still didn’t pull back.
“And I’m not hoping for one night,” he continued. “If we do this, this is it. I’m in. I’ve been all in since the night we met.”
She heard everything he said, but it wasn’t processing. She was hypnotized by his touch, in a trance as he traced the same path up and down her arm. A jolt of possessiveness coursed through her as he tugged on her body, urging her closer.
She let his desire consume her. Let his invitation fill the emptiness she’d grown so accustomed to over the last few months. Let his darkness pet the caged animal inside her until it purred.
She was still hollow, but at least she wasn’t alone.
She hooked one leg over his, pivoting her body to face him. She wasn’t fully straddling him, but it was pretty damn close.
Fielding’s free hand moved through the water to steady her, hooking around the curve of her hip. Once he latched on, he didn’t let go. He spread his fingers wide, straight fire radiating from his fingertips into the emptiness where her soul used to live.
She closed her eyes as he dug into the fleshy part of her hip, relishing the sharp jolt that traveled through her body. She made no move to push him away. Instead, she waited. She waited under a spell, in a trance, frozen in place, toes dangling off a precipice.
They were tightrope walking on an edge, neither one willing to make another move. Terrified to move forward. Too scared to turn back.
“Tori,” he pleaded. “Fucking hell. Get off me right now if you don’t want to do this. I won’t warn you again. Don’t start something you’ll want to come back from. There’s no going back with me.”
Her eyes shot open at his warning. “What does that mean?” She breathed her question into the few inches of space between them. They were close—so close—too close in so many ways.
“What does that mean?” he scoffed. “It means I’ve been waiting for this moment for over a year. But I want more than just a moment now. I want all your moments, forever.”
Forever.
She blinked once, then again.Forever. The word—the sentiment—the promise. Forever landed like an arrow tearing through her chest. Pain and grief erupted inside her, a wave of emotion making her audibly gasp because of that one single word.
Forever. Rhett was her forever. Always had been, always would be. And even if things were hard, strained, dire, nothing—and more importantly, no one—could come between what they shared.
Fielding’s fingers pressing into her hip bone brought her back to the moment.
What the fuck is happening here?
The words manifested so clearly in her mind it was as if someone had spoken them out loud. She jolted back a few inches, putting distance between them. She was still straddling his leg, but only because she needed to find her balance before she could stand.
The devastation that shadowed Fielding’s expression told her just how close she had come to making a terrible mistake. She blew out a long breath: a sigh of relief, a sigh of contempt.
She couldn’t use the hollowness she was feeling as an excuse to ruin her whole life. She had to get a grip.
It wasn’t until she heard her name followed by the same words again that she realized someone else was actually speaking.
“Tori. What the fuck is happening here?”
Her head snapped toward the house so fast her messy bun smacked Fielding in the face. Her heart dropped into her stomach when she saw the look on Jake’s face. He glanced back and forth between her and Fielding, horrified, before finally settling his gaze on her. She scrambled backward, scraping her knees so hard she was sure they would bleed as she dismounted the bench.
She ran wet hands over her face, through her hair. Whatwashappening here?
