Page 58 of When You're Gone
She ducked her head back and tried to make herself as small as possible, but there was no way he wouldn’t know she was there.
“I’m gonna call you back,” he said as he hung up the phone and rose to his feet.
He looked ominous as he approached. She felt like a child about to be scolded by a parent.
“You okay?” he asked coldly. She recoiled under the intensity of his gaze as he loomed over her with his arms folded across his chest.
“I’m—no. I’m not okay,” she admitted. She huffed out a sigh. It wasn’t Jake’s responsibility to fix this. But she didn’t have it in her to pretend. Not tonight. Not after he had seen her at her literal worst.
“Yeah, well… I’ll be down here all night if you need anything. I’ll see you in the morning.” He turned on his heel.
“That’s it?” she scoffed. That was all he had to say?
He froze where he stood, pausing for two breaths before turning back around to face her.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what else you expect me to say. I know you’re hurting. I see that. But I can’t help you. I can’t be your emotional support person in this. There’s just no way… you’re breaking my heart, baby. But I have to be there for him.”
“He’s not even here!” she screamed. She would have thrown something at his stupid head if she had anything within reach. She didn’t know why she was lashing out at Jake—but she couldn’t stop the words from tumbling out. Something inside her wanted to fight.
Jake cocked one eyebrow and scowled. “You’re right. He’s not here. He’s in Virginia. Exhausted. Alone. Reeling from the news that his wife was straddling another man in his hot tub tonight.”
Acid burned her esophagus as his words hit her head-on.Shit. What had she done?
“And last time I checked, he hadn’t heard from you. So you can sit here and have your temper tantrum. You can lash out and be pissed off at me if you want. But I’ve got other priorities right now. I’m going to call your husband back, and I’m going to stay on the phone with him all night if I think that’s what he needs. Because we both know sleepless nights are his trigger. And I’ve already decided you’re not going to be the reason he relapses. Not tonight. Not on my watch.”
Tears blurred her vision as she processed everything he had just said. She’d been sitting here, annoyed with Jake, defensive about her actions, worried about how she’d explain things to Rhett. Not once had she considered how any of this would affect his sobriety.
She raised both hands to her face and crumpled forward, finally allowing herself to break. A fresh sob escaped her, but this one wasn’t rooted in anger and self-pity like all the others. This one was dedicated to her beautiful, resilient golden boy. She would never forgive herself if she was the reason he broke down and gave in. She had to make sure he was okay.
“Now you’re getting it,” Jake muttered, walking back to stand in front of her before crouching low to make eye contact. “Please call him or text him before you go to bed. He’ll be here tomorrow… but that’s not the same as hearing from you tonight.”
She nodded wordlessly as her body shook with distress. What had she done?
She took Jake’s extended hand and let him pull her to her feet, then silently ascended the stairs. She wouldn’t ask anything else of him tonight. He had done enough—he had done everything he could, really—to ensure she was okay, and that Rhett would be okay, too. For now, she’d just do what he’d said: send the text she was dreading, put herself to bed, and wait for Rhett to come home.
On Sunday, she floated around the house like a ghost. Jake had slept in the basement, only coming upstairs a few times to make food, wipe down the counters, and take out the trash. She was grateful he was essentially ignoring her. She couldn’t bear to absorb any more judgment. She was already drowning in her own self-loathing.
She had texted Rhett last night, just like Jake had asked, but felt guilty for not doing it sooner. Self-sabotage was a fickle bitch. She didn’t trust a single thought that entered her mind. Every move felt uncertain, every decision shaky. All she knew for sure was that she wanted off this train.
She was both restless and listless as she lay wide awake in Rhett’s room. Penny announced his arrival late in the afternoon with a series of excited yips. Yet Tori made no move to peel herself off the bed. She didn’t even have the will to sit up.
She felt him before she heard him. She knew he was there before he uttered a word. It had always been like that between them—their bodies attuned to each other, their souls so perfectly aligned.
She heard the door click closed. “I went to your house first, thinking you’d be there. I saw the sign.”
The memory of unexpectedly seeing the for sale sign in the front yard of her childhood home tore through her consciousness like a torpedo. It felt like an entire lifetime had passed since she had stumbled upon that sign yesterday afternoon.
The end of the bed dipped as he sat by her feet.
After a few more breaths, she finally found the courage to respond. “I always sleep here when you’re gone. It smells like you.”
He reached out and placed his hand on her calf. The touch was through the sheets and duvet, but it was still significant. A sliver of anxiety eased up as she savored his caress. She blew out a long sigh before propping herself up to rest against the headboard. She should have felt more embarrassed about her appearance—her hair was an unbrushed mess, her eyes were puffy from crying on and off all day. But this was Rhett. Her best friend. Her first love. Her husband. She had nothing to hide.
She looked up and met his gaze, then instantly regretted it. She wasn’t prepared for what she saw when she looked into his eyes. There was no anger, frustration, or apathy. Those were to be expected. Those she could have handled. It was the hopeless sorrow in his expression that rocked her to her core.
“Ev,” she breathed out, reaching out a hand, willing him to come closer.
He just shook his head sadly as he rejected her invitation. “What happened?” he asked somberly.
