Page 63 of When You're Gone
She had been in Virginia since the day after the stroke, by Jonathan’s side all day and night, just using his house to sleep and shower. Rhett felt another pang of guilt as he thought about her all alone at the Ashton Estate. Maybe he should have offered to stay there with her. Or at least made a point to visit with her more often beyond their daily check-ins.
“I’ve been better,” she answered honestly, squeezing his hand for emphasis. “This is all so hard. I don’t know what happens next, or what he would want me to do. I feel like I’m making decisions I’m not prepared to make.”
Rhett nodded thoughtfully and squeezed her hand in return. “You’re doing great, Mom. He would be proud.” He glanced across the room then, taking in his granddad’s sleeping form under the cover of a blanket and the glow of the monitors. “What can I do to help?”
“Oh no. Don’t even think about it,” she scolded.
Their side of the suite was dimly lit, but he could make out her features well enough to see the pointed look she gave him.
“You are doingmorethan enough. You are doing too much, I’m sure. There’s a hierarchy to these things. Your granddad’s care is not your responsibility. You have the business to think about. You haveyourselfto think about. Focusing on those things is how you can help me.”
He let out a sigh laced with relief. He would do whatever he could to help—but he was grateful that his mom really saw him and knew better than to ask for more of him right now. She was right; he was stretched thinner than thin. His primary focus should be on keeping his head straight. On the business. On his health. On his marriage.
“How areyou?” she asked, turning the question around and forcing him to endure her appraising stare. She clucked her tongue as she waited for his response. “Don’t lie to your mother, Everhett Wheeler. I was honest with you.”
He gave her a half-hearted smile, then leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He didn’t want to lie to her, especially not after she called him out like that. But he couldn’t share the full truth without the risk of breaking down completely.
“I’m keeping it together,” he finally offered. “Work is going well—better than expected, given all the changes—but that’s because he prepared me so well. I feel a lot more capable in the role than I thought I would. It’s a lot, but I’m confident I can handle it.”
He felt her hand land on the center of his back, her nails scratching back and forth through the fabric of his suit jacket.
“I know you’re under an enormous amount of pressure. Have you had anything to drink?” she asked softly.
The fact that she felt compelled to ask pained him. The fact that she cared enough to ask tugged on his heartstrings.
“I’ve talked to Will more over the last few weeks than I have in the last six months combined,” he admitted, recalling the frequent conversations and texts he was exchanging with his AA sponsor these days. “But no. I’m not drinking. I haven’t had a drop.”
“I’m proud of you,” she offered earnestly. “And I love you. Now tell me what’s eating at you. It’s not work, and it’s not the bottle, but I know something is off. I don’t want to pester you, but I can’t help but worry.”
“Things… things aren’t perfect in my marriage, Mom.” He huffed at how trivial that statement sounded.
“Things aren’t perfect in any marriage,” she countered without missing a beat.
“It just feels like we can’t catch a break. The hardest part is feeling stuck here… like I can’t go home or make any kind of plans. Tori showed up to surprise me last weekend, but I was on my way out the door for a team retreat. She stayed for one hour, then went back to the airport. I know this isn’t forever… it’s just really hard right now. I don’t know when I’ll be back in Hampton again, and that’s killing me.”
His mom stopped scratching and rested her hand on his shoulder. “Why do you have to go to her all the time? That’s hardly fair, given the circumstances. She should be here. You need her here,” she rebuked.
He stilled and let her words sink in. She wasn’t wrong. He knew Tori should be by his side through this. But he also knew he couldn’t convince her of that.
“She doesn’t want to be here,” he finally responded. It hurt to admit out loud.
“You need to make her understand.”
He shook his head sadly. He wished it was that simple. But he hadn’t shared even half of what was happening in his marriage with his mom. Tori was struggling. She had been struggling long before he’d gotten the promotion. And somehow her struggles had cosmically lined up with one of the most stressful, demanding times of his life. After years of pushing, begging, and pleading, he didn’t have it in him to convince her he was enough. He couldn’t stand the idea of letting her go. But he loathed the idea of keeping her caged.
“I’ve never been able to make her see or do anything she doesn’t want to do. And believe me… I’ve spent years trying. I know in my heart she has to come around to this on her own. She has to choose me. Choose to be here. Choose us.”
“Oh Everhett…” His mom sighed and resumed running her hand back and forth across his shoulders. “Are you worried she won’t?”
“I wasn’t. But now—now I’m not so sure.” Tears welled up behind his eyes, but he scrubbed them away. He refused to mourn something that wasn’t over yet.
“Everything changed so fast this year,” he continued. “Everything is still changing. When I asked her to marry me, I promised I could be patient. That she could live in Hampton as long as she wanted; that she could finish her degree at Holt, and we’d make long distance work just like we did when I was at school. Now I feel like I can’t hold up my end of the bargain. I feel like I’ve pulled a bait and switch. Like I’ve backed her into a corner, given her no choice. I can’t even be mad at her for not wanting to be here because it wasn’t supposed to be like this.”
His mom sighed. “That’s life, Everhett. That’s just how it goes sometimes. Have you told her all this?”
“I have. Last weekend. There was… she… something happened at home,” he skirted around the issue as best he could. “I rushed back to Hampton because of it. I laid it all out for her, and then I walked away. I told her she has to be the one to make the next move.”
“You gave her an ultimatum?”
