Page 75 of When You're Gone
“Come here,” he mumbled as he pulled her into a hug. He kissed her still-damp hair and nestled his chin into the crook of her neck, breathing her in.
There he was. She hadn’t lost him yet.
“I’ll spend the day with you. But you really should try to get some sleep first.”
She knew she was pushing it, but she couldn’t resist making one more request.
“Will you lay down with me? Will it hurt too much to hold me?”
Rather than responding, he guided her into their bedroom, pulled back the sheets, and tucked her into bed. He stripped off his shirt and pants before climbing in to join her.
Their bodies met in the middle, just like they always did. She curled into the crook of his arm as his warm hand smoothed down her stomach and came to rest along her scar. He found the crook of her shoulder once again, this time brushing his lips against the side of her neck before going still beside her.
“You’ve always been worth the pain,” he whispered as she fought to keep her eyes open.
She hated hurting him like this. But she allowed herself to take what she needed from him now because she knew she’d have to stand on her own two feet and figure out how to stitch them back together soon enough.
Chapter twenty-nine
Rhett
Ifgettingthatcalllast night had been painful, spending the day with her today was downright torturous. It was such a good day: a day spent doing a lot of nothing, filled with their favorite things and places.
After snoozing for a few hours, they took Penny on a walk, then picked up Jersey Bagels and surprised Jake at his condo. They popped into Clinton’s and had lunch at the bar courtesy of Mike, who refused to let them pay. Now they were munching on frosted sugar cookies from their favorite bakery and enjoying the early spring air. They ate quietly on a bench near the gazebo in downtown Hampton, watching the participants of a charity race cross the finish line near the clocktower.
“I wonder how much money a charity race like that makes,” Tori mused, dabbing a napkin to her mouth as she swallowed her last bite.
Seeing the Band-Aids over her hands was almost as upsetting as when he first saw the blood on them, but he held back his reaction. She didn’t need another reminder of what had happened. She had lived it.
“I’m not sure. Race fees can be anywhere from twenty bucks to a few hundred dollars, depending on the length and the cause. Jake and I did a half marathon on a whim in Colorado a few years ago. It was spring break, and he was high when he passed the day-of registration table. I don’t think he realized what he’d even signed us up for until we were in the starting corrals. That one cost four hundred dollars per person, and all I got was a short-sleeved tech shirt and a few leg cramps from not stretching.”
“Who runs a half marathon on a whim?” she teased, her face illuminating in the brightest smile.
“Not Jake, apparently. He didn’t even make it two miles because of the altitude. And the weed.”
“But you did?”
He smirked as he crumpled up the wax paper from his cookie. “Of course I did.”
“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”
He returned her easy smile and kept his gaze on her as she watched the runners and volunteers. She hadn’t bothered with any makeup, but her hair was in a loose braid swept over to one side.
His heart ached as he breathed her in—admired the familiar angles of her cheekbones—memorized the sweet hum of amusement she let out as two little kids greeted their mom at the finish line.
For so long, he’d yearned for this. For her commitment, her companionship, her love. How was it possible that they were married and coming up on their one-year wedding anniversary, and yet everything felt so disconnected?
He was tempted to just say fuck it. To forget his demands. To settle for what she was willing and able to give right now. It would have been the easier path forward, and in the end, it would probably all work out the same. He could just call the whole thing off, accept that they were going through a rough patch, and continue to see this through.
But he owed it to himself to ask her to figure this out. He couldn’t carry all the weight in their relationship, at least not forever. He couldn’t be the one to convince her that their life together was the one she wanted. Just letting things fall back into a natural rhythm would be the easy way out, but he had the nagging suspicion that if they didn’t fix this now, it would fester.
They had loved each other for so long. They had fallen in love so young. As much as it hurt him to not rely on that history, he needed to be strong. She needed to be sure. Tori had to take the reins now and figure out what she wanted, unequivocally, before she woke up one day and resented him.
He didn’t want a half love. He had spent too damn long feeling torn, split, and unsure about their relationship. He needed her to play full out for herself now, to play full out for him. He just prayed he wasn’t asking too much of her and that this out—or this ultimatum, as his mom had dubbed it—wasn’t one she actually wanted to take.
He glanced down at the time on his phone, silently cursing his decision to leave Hampton tonight.
“We’ve got a couple hours until Charlie is scheduled to pick me up at the house. Anything else you want to do today?”
