Page 76 of When You're Gone
The reminder that their time was limited got her attention. She turned to meet his gaze as her happy expression transformed into dread.Fuck. He hated hurting her like this. This would be the hardest goodbye they’d ever endured. He could feel it in his gut: the anticipatory grief, the unparalleled loneliness that would follow him home.
He knew in his heart this was it. The last goodbye. Their last chance at getting this right. He told her they were breaking the cycle, that he wouldn’t keep racing home to her, that they couldn’t do this torturous tango of back and forth any longer. He owed it to both of them to stick to his commitment and see it through.
“Let’s go to the Ledges,” she suggested, a somber heaviness settling between them. Rhett nodded, rose to his feet, and led the way back to the car. They had one more stop to make today.
“Everhett?” she asked softly. He loved the sound of his full name on her lips.
He shifted her car into park and unclipped his seat belt before turning to face her. She usually drove them around when he was home in Hampton, but he had insisted on driving today. He wanted her hands to heal; he didn’t want her distracted or burdened by using them more than was absolutely necessary. He yearned to absorb all her pain, soften every blow. They both knew what was coming next. It was the least he could do.
Something about Fielding’s confession had unchained him in a way. Driving felt easier today than it had since the night of his accident. It was like a small stitch of confidence in his own abilities had been restored.
“Yeah, beautiful?”
“If you had no intention of staying… why did you even come home?”
Her question wasn’t intended to insult, but he still winced at the callout.
“You needed me. And selfishly, I needed to make sure you were okay. Which you weren’t. I’m grateful I could be here to help, honestly.”
She side-eyed him skeptically from the passenger seat. “Okay. That’s fair. But why aren’t you more smug? What Fielding did last night… the way he acted… you knew all along.”
Rhett shook his head. There was no joy in being right about Fielding. “I didn’t know anything. I suspected. I had a gut feeling. And I let my alpha macho ego spew a lot of hate about the guy. But you asked me to trust you, to leave it alone and respect your friendship, so I did.”
She cast her eyes down at her bandaged hands. “I’m sorry I was wrong about him.”
“Hey.” He reached out to tilt her chin up with one hand. There was no version of this scenario where Tori came out of this not trusting her own instincts because of that asshat. He gently grasped her chin and met her gaze. “I don’t think you were wrong. I was wrong, at least in the beginning. You trusted him. Jake trusted him. Fielding Haas was a good friend to you until he decided not to be. His actions aren’t a reflection of your judgment. I’m so sorry you were betrayed.”
She smiled sadly as his words lingered between them. There was nothing else to be said. He wouldn’t hold this against her: not now, not ever. He could only hope that Jake’s prediction was right, that this whole nightmare meant Fielding Haas was officially out of her life for good.
“Come on,” he urged. “Let’s go before the sun sets on today.”
She met him around his side of the car, and he pulled her into his chest on instinct. It was clear they were both feeling the weight of his impending departure, drowning in it, even. He held her tight and willed her to find the strength to fight for them.
“I love you,” she murmured before turning her head to rest her cheek on his chest.
“I love you, too, beautiful. So damn much.” He cradled her head and hugged her as tight as he dared, given her injuries.
She had spoken the words first. That had to mean something. He was so grateful she had the courage to say it now, to say it still. He didn’t know when he’d get to say them again.
They walked across the expansive meadow hand in hand. Their shoes squelched under them and sank into the mud every few steps, the soft earth forcing them to take it slow. When they finally reached the overlook of the Ledges, they made their way out onto the farthest bank of flat rock.
Rhett sat down and spread his legs wide, inviting her in. Tori sat between them, leaning back as he wrapped his arms around her, settling in to watch the sunset in the distance just like they had so many times before.
“Too cold?” he asked when he felt the coolness of the rocks through his own jeans.
“Worth it,” she murmured in reply.
They sat there, saying nothing and feeling everything, for what felt like the opposite of an eternity. Time stood still as they waited for nightfall to cast out the last glimmers of daylight. Rhett felt his mind begin to race, his brain working in overdrive to memorize exactly how it felt to hold her in his arms. He focused all his energy on sucking in slow, deliberate breaths, counting to five with each inhalation and letting them remind him that this wasn’t necessarily the end. That it would be okay.
He had spent so much of his life planning and preparing and chasing after what came next. None of it mattered now. There was only her. There were only these final breaths where he knew for sure she was still his. There was only this blip of eternity where he was guaranteed a few more moments of happiness before he forced himself to say goodbye.
They watched quietly as the last slivers of light glowed yellow, then orange, then gave way to purple sky, officially ending the day.
“What happens now?” she asked as she glanced back to meet his gaze.
He gave her a sad shrug, then turned his head to look back out to where the sun had just set. He shook his head in disbelief as his mind warred over his next move. He had to go. He knew he had to go. But every part of his body vehemently denied the reality of what he was about to do.
“Everhett,” she demanded. “What happens next? Answer me.”
