Page 9 of Not that Impressed
I grin at her. It’s nice that I don’t have to force it the way I did while packing the school supplies on Tuesday. Maybe that was because Will was there and he kept looking at me all disapprovingly, sure I was there for “clicks.”
Rainee’s head pops out from behind her camera. “What’s with the look? Are you trying to do fierce?”
I laugh and shake my head at her, and she goes back to taking pictures. “I think you would know if I was looking fierce. I know how to do that.”
“That’s true. You were looking more irritated than anything. Is something off?”
“No,” I shake my head. “Remembering something annoying that happened a couple days ago.”
“Keep that attitude out of my shoots,” Rainee scolds.
“Aye, aye.”
She shoos me off a few minutes later to try another outfit. This one is an oversized sweatshirt that saysI play like a girl, and a hat with one of the Girls Play logos on it, paired with some biker shorts.
When I’m back at my apartment later, working on the schedule and the captions, my mind can’t help rolling back toWill Pemberton again. What is his deal with me? We’ve barely spoken the few times we’ve met before, but right out of the gate he’s super disapproving? He’s the one who left the charity drive as soon as he possibly could. You know who I suspect came just to look good? Will.
Janelle and I have dated guys before who barely hid their judgment of our family’s reality TV show. Maybe Will’s one of those guys, and he’s bugged that his best friend is into Janelle. If that’s true, I want to just let it go, like I do every other time I have to face someone’s judgment.
Except that the last few days have shown me that if Charlie’s going to be around, Will’s also going to be around.
Ugh.
That’s fine. I can be nice to Will Pemberton for my sister.
A text from the show’s producer interrupts my spiraling, thankfully.
Jasmine
Have you and Janelle given any more thought to the spin-off?
We’ve given it a lot of thought since the producers pitched it to us a few weeks ago. Originally they wanted it to be me, Janelle, and Libby, a Bennet sisters spin-off show, but Janelle and I said no to that right out of the gate. That would be the same show we’re working on now, just less screen time with Mom and Dad and more with Libby. That’s not something we’re looking for, even if we love our little sister. She’s kind of exhausting. Since she doesn’t remember a time when she wasn’t living her life on a TV show, it’s become so natural for her that she doesn’t have boundaries the way Janelle and I do with it. Honestly, I think she needs a break, to live in a world where people aren’t watching her all the time, but that’s up to my parents.
Janelle and I are both pretty sure we want to say no, but we’re still also conflicted. I’ve been craving less camera time for a couple years now. My influencer career and my fitness brandare well off the ground, and I want to spend more time there, except I can’t help the fear that it would all flounder if I step out of the spotlight the show gives me. There’s something tempting about our own show, maybe one we could design to better fit who Janelle and I are—not the reality TV stars, but the women who are itching to make change with the privilege we’ve been given.
Ellie
I’ve thought about it a lot, actually. Not quite ready to make a decision.
I can’t tell Jasmine that I’m teetering on quitting. That’s not something I want to lead with. And I don’t want to sour things for Janelle if she decides she does want to do a spin-off show.
Jasmine
Okay. We need to know soon. Either we have to figure out what we’re doing for the new season of Bennets or get ready to start yours.
My gut instinct is to say no to the new show. My contract (and Janelle’s) is ending with the network at the end of this season. It would be so freeing to focus on my own goals, to get out from underneath the show’s shadow. Friday’s confrontation with Will proves people don’t get a nuanced version of me, even with all the work I do outside ofBeing the Bennets.
But … it’s an engine that helps me do good in the ways I love. That’s the thought that holds me back from stepping away. The network wants us to renew, and that means they’ll work with us to create the kind of show we want to be a part of.
I’ve grown up on this set. Telling us they’ll take the show one direction doesn’t mean a lot. They’ll take it where the money is and that will be built into the contracts. The whole thing makes my brain hurt.
Plus, I haven’t talked to Mom and Dad about this at all, nordo I know what the producers have told them. How do they feel about the possibility of us doing our own show?
Ellie
I’ll let you know as soon as I can.
I drop my phone onto my bed and put my head in my hands. Why does figuring out my next steps feel so hard?
