Page 27 of Ice Cold, Red Hot
Girls like that get left behind.
And what the hell did Darren Renshaw mean when he told his son that he knew what happened to guys who lose focus? What happened?
It was like the Renshaws saw their son as a product, a commodity. It sounded like when he no longer had value to them, he’d be disposed of.
I might have been brought up in a totally different world—they weren’t wrong about that. But my family had love and respect for one another—something Shepherd’s clearly didn’t.
CHAPTER 14
CELESTE
I spent that day going through the motions—something I really couldn’t afford. Everything in my life rested on my focus. My success.
But the conversation I’d overheard with Shepherd’s parents was eating away at me. How could anyone treat their child that way? No wonder Shepherd was strung so tight—he was under pressure too.
Maybe we couldn’t be together. And that was hard to accept, given the impossible connection I felt to him, the draw to him every time we were close. Chemistry, I guessed it was. But Shepherd didn’t need me that way as much as he needed something else. A real friend.
I knocked on his apartment door when I got back from class, my mind switching rapidly back and forth between courses of action. I swallowed down my indecision, though. Shepherd needed someone to understand. I might not be anything else for him, but I could be human.
The apartment door swung open, and Shepherd stood there, his biceps bulging where he held the door, the rest ofhim poured into a pair of gray sweatpants and a thin white tank top that showed more skin than it covered.
I cleared my throat, suddenly wishing I hadn’t come. My mouth was like Death Valley, and swallowing wasn’t helping. Damn, he looked good.
“Celeste,” Shepherd said. There was no emotion in the word at all.
“I heard what your father said today.”
Shepherd moved away from the door and I followed him inside. He sat on the couch, and I sank down next to him, perching on the edge and turning to face him.
“Shouldn’t eavesdrop. It’s rude.”
“You know he’s wrong, right?” I wanted to reach for his hand, but touching him would be the wrong move. It would start a cascade of events I wouldn’t be able to stop. I held my hands in my lap.
“Which part?” he asked, rubbing a hand over his jaw.
“The part where you don’t get to make your own choices in life.”
Shepherd let out a laugh that held more ice than humor. “Right.”
“I’m serious. The way they spoke to you, like you’re just a commodity, a?—”
“You don’t get it, okay?” He practically spit the words, and was on his feet as he said it. “This isn’t a choice for me. It’s a path, one I’m not controlling. It’s the path they put me on when I was a kid, and my job is to stay in line.”
I watched him for a moment, seeing the pain etched into every line of his face. “I know what it’s like to have people counting on you,” I said. When he didn’t speak, I went on. “I already told you I’m paying my way through school onmy own, and helping support my family at the same time. They need me to succeed. If I fail, I’m not failing myself. I’m failing them too.”
Something shifted in Shepherd’s expression and it became softer, less guarded. He moved back to the couch and sat down, dropping his head between his hands. He still didn’t speak.
“They shouldn’t talk to you that way. You’re their son.”
“I’m the lesser son,” he said softly. “Still an unproven asset. Haven’t reassured them of my worth yet.”
I shook my head. “Families shouldn’t work like that.”
He turned his head and looked at me, a tiny chuckle escaping him. “You’re an idealist, I guess. This is reality.”
“It’s shitty.”
“Changes nothing.”
