Page 50 of Silent Scream
William turned his attention back to her. There was genuine surprise in his look.
‘Excuse me. I often genuinely forget that Lucy ever had a mother. It’s been just the two of us for so long.’
‘I understand,' Kim said, leaning forward. His voice had dropped to barely more than a whisper.
‘Lucy’s mother was not a bad person but she had certain expectations and a child with disabilities was not in her master plan. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m sure every parent wishes for a perfect child.
‘The dream does not normally include the full-time care of an adult that will never be able to take care of themselves. Excuse me for a moment.’
He took a tissue and wiped away a trail of spittle that ran down his daughter’s chin.
‘Sorry about that. Anyway, Alison really tried at first and while there were certain elements of normality to hang on to she could get by but as the disease progressed it became too much of a struggle. By the time she left she could no longer look at Lucy and hadn’t touched her in months. We both agreed it was best she leave. That was thirteen years ago and we haven’t seen or heard from her since.’
Despite the matter-of-fact delivery Kim could hear the pain in his voice. He was more forgiving of Lucy’s mother than she would have been.
‘That’s why you took the night job at Crestwood?’
Payne nodded. ‘Prior to that I was a landscape architect but I couldn’t hold a job and care for Lucy.
‘Working the night shift at Crestwood meant I could care for Lucy during the day. My neighbour would often come round and sit with Lucy at night.’
‘No second Mrs Payne?’ Bryant asked.
William shook his head. ‘No, my vows were for life. Divorce may satisfy the law, but it doesn’t satisfy God.’
Kim guessed it would have been difficult to meet someone, even if he’d wanted to. Few people were prepared to take on the full-time care of a disabled child that was not their own.
A gurgle sounded from the corner and William was instantly on his feet. He stood before his daughter.
‘Morning, sweetheart, sleep well? Would you like a drink?’
Although Kim saw no movement there was obviously some communication between father and daughter, because William pulled around a feeding tube and placed it between her lips. The right index finger of Lucy’s hand touched a button on the arm of the chair. A measure of liquid was dispensed through the tube and into her mouth.
‘Do you want to listen to music?’
‘An audio book?’
He smiled. ‘Do you want to turn around?’
Aha, Kim realised. It was blink communication.
As William turned the chair, Kim was struck by the paleness of the smooth skin and the directness of the eyes.
Kim considered the irony of a perfectly functioning brain in a useless body. Surely there could be no crueller fate.
‘Lucy sits at the window so she can see outside. She was entranced by the activity yesterday.’
‘Mr Payne, you were saying ...’ she steered him back on course, gently.
‘Yes, of course. The job at Crestwood was easy enough. All I had to do was make sure the place was secure so the girls couldn’t just leave and that no one could get in, check the smoke detectors and complete any odd jobs left by the day staff. It was very convenient for me and I was disappointed when it came to an end.’
‘The fire?’
He nodded. ‘Although the place was being closed anyway I was hopeful for another few months of work.’
‘Were you working that night?’
‘No, it was Arthur’s shift but I heard the alarm as soon as it went off. I’m in the front bedroom, you see.’
