Page 98 of First Blood
‘His actions left me with nothing, Inspector. Because of his work we were somebodies. We had a good life, had minor celebrity status. Our girls had everything they could wish for. We were liked, we had friends and were treated well wherever we went. Little did I know that the money he was taking was going straight onto a Blackjack table along with the mortgage payments. By the time he was found out he had accrued almost seventy thousand pounds of debt and his face was splashed all over the news.
‘We lost everything, me and the girls. Suddenly we were social pariahs. The girls lost their friends and so did I, to be honest. We were treated like lepers because of what he’d done.’
Kim held up her hand. ‘We understand that you were left with nothing, Mrs Lockwood, which as big a problem as that was must have paled against your daughter…’
‘It did,’ she said, as every muscle in her face tensed and hardened. ‘I’d left him already, you see. I was maxing out our credit card at a hotel while we got ourselves sorted and I decided where to go next. The girls didn’t really understand what was going on and then one night as I was putting her to bed Sasha asked me if it was all her fault. She asked if it was because she’d considered telling her schoolteacher her secret.’ Wendy lowered her head, and Kim didn’t push.
After a moment she took a breath and continued. ‘Three hours later I had the whole story that her father had been abusing her for around ten months. He’d told her that if she ever spoke of it to anyone that I would die or that she would die and the child was terrified.’
‘Mrs Lockwood, I can’t even imagine what…’
‘You’re right, Inspector. You can’t. Unless you’ve been in that position you’ll never understand the guilt and self-hatred. I won’t share my nightmares with you, but suffice to say I will never be able to make it up to her or forgive myself for not seeing what was right in front of me.’
And so you shouldn’t, Kim thought, just managing to keep the words to herself. In her opinion the little girl could not have been suffering with no visible signs; reduced appetite, unwillingness to go to bed, withdrawn into herself. Kim knew the signs well enough.
‘Did you go to the police?’ she asked.
Mrs Lockwood shook her head. ‘Sasha begged me not to. She was terrified at the prospect of having to recount the events to a stranger. I tried to talk her into it and bought myself a whole new bag of guilt by trying to force her to do something she didn’t want to. In that way I felt no better than her father and eventually I gave in.’ She shrugged and opened her hands. ‘I just pray it was the right thing to do.’
‘And what did you do?’ Kim asked, steering her towards the subject she wanted to explore. She had no words to bring the woman comfort. That would come only with time and Sasha’s continued well-being.
‘Called him and made all kinds of threats. I called him every foul name I could get my mouth around and told him he would never see his daughters again. The next day he’d put a stop on the one remaining credit card with any money. I managed to pay the bill by cobbling together a few favours from people who would have anything to do with me. Few and far between after the scandal broke.’
‘And then you had nowhere to go?’ Kim prompted.
She nodded. ‘I’d read about Marianne Forbes and her shelters and I turned up in Dudley with little more than three suitcases and two girls. She took me in and made room somehow, thank goodness. She pretty much saved my life.’
Which was more than she’d done for Hayley Smart two days ago, Kim thought.
‘Go on,’ she said.
‘It gave us a chance to regroup as a family, the girls and I. We were taken care of while we adjusted to being a threesome instead of a foursome. Our stay there gave me time to build the strength and confidence to take care of my girls alone.’
Kim heard the note of pride in her voice.
‘I realised I could make it on my own and that I would do whatever I needed to do to keep my girls safe. Louella gave me that confidence and Sasha responded well to counselling there too.’ She smiled. ‘Became quite good friends, the two of them.’
‘And you?’ Kim asked. ‘Did you make any friendships?’
The faint blush that coloured her cheeks belied the shake of the head. Kim understood the dynamics of places like shelters. Hospitals were similar. They were unfamiliar surroundings and people bonded. Hayley had been the exception. Hayley had always fended for herself and remained closed to those around her, but Wendy Lockwood was another story. Wendy had needed to be told she could cope alone. Wendy had needed support, handholding, friends.
Kim thought about the photos she’d seen of the Lockwoods before the scandal. They had made a very attractive couple out and about being wined, dined and treated like local celebrities to garner favour and positive reviews and recommendations on the television. Advertising that could not be bought.
Alone Wendy Lockwood was no less attractive and probably stood out amongst the women at the shelter. Some of the rules set out by Marianne may have been harder to follow for some residents than others.
‘There’s nothing to feel guilty about, Wendy,’ Kim said, taking a gamble. ‘These things happen and especially when you’re lonely and vulnerable it can…’
‘Oh no, nothing happened. It wasn’t even like that,’ she protested.
The word ‘it’ indicated that there had been something with someone.
‘Of course. It’s understandable that you’d want to talk to someone, confide in and maybe just enjoy being around.’
‘Exactly that,’ Wendy said, nodding her agreement.
Kim had no idea how intimate the relationship had been and she didn’t care. She had only one question left to ask.
‘Which one was it, Curt or Carl?’
