Page 101 of Killing Mind
He shook his head. ‘I hope I haven’t upset you but I did want you to understand that there are people here that get it. They also know that the first step to recovery, to discovering the real you, is distance. You have to help yourself to care less about their opinion and, more importantly, their actions. Does that make sense?’
Tiff nodded her understanding.
‘It’s something we can help you with here but it has to be your choice.’
‘I don’t… I…’
‘Don’t think about it now. Give yourself time to think and process what we’ve discussed. There’s no rush,’ he said, smiling. ‘Now head down to the dining room where you’ll find a nice hot meal waiting for you.’
She thanked him and left the room. She was still in a daze when she reached the dining room, trying to examine the feelings that were whizzing around her head like fireworks. She was aware of and returned all the smiles and waves which, while pleasant, felt strange not having Britney beside her. She’d come to think of the two of them as a bit of a team.
For the first time she entered the dining room to the hubbub of the panpipes already playing and people chattering as they ate. The room was already on the second serving.
Oh, well, never mind. She was hungry and would probably eat anything right now. She joined the back of the line.
‘Hi, you’re Tiffany, aren’t you?’ asked a voice from behind the tables.
It was the woman who had served her pork chop and mash the night before.
‘Yes, yes, that’s me.’
The woman reached beneath the table and produced a plate with a cover.
‘From the first sitting. Jake asked for a meal to be held aside. Be careful, the plate is hot,’ she said, pushing it forward.
‘Thank you so much…’ Tiff said, as a warm glow spread through her. But she didn’t even know the woman’s name.
‘You’re welcome, love,’ she said with a smile. ‘And just so you know, my name is Sheila.’
Eighty-One
‘Cults are hard to leave because people feel loyal,’ Kane continued, once fresh drinks were before them all. ‘There are peer pressures, they believe in the group. They may be exhausted and confused already separated from their past. They now fear a world without the group. If you put all these things together it’s a powerful force. As exit counsellors we have our own processes but…’
‘They don’t always work,’ Kim finished.
‘Of course not. In your own field, Inspector, someone will manufacture a new lock and within hours a savvy criminal will have it open. Same with computer protection. The moment it’s written you’ve got some kid that can hack it. A person resisting exit counselling might say “yes, they told me you’d say that”, so you have to remember that the very idea of leaving is terrifying. After leaving people feel guilty, shameful, full of self-blame, fears and paranoia. Many feel depressed, lonely, have low confidence and no longer trust themselves to make good choices.’
‘And that’s why you thought Sammy Brown wasn’t ready?’
Kane nodded. ‘She’d been there for two years. In cult years that’s half a lifetime. She wasn’t ready to address the practical issues related to daily living. They have to face psychological and emotional stirrings that can cause intense agonies, develop a new social network and attempt to repair old relationships. It can take anywhere from six months to two years to get their lives functioning again, and once they do see what went on they suffer a whole new batch of guilt for the people they left behind. They have fear of retribution from the cult and have an inability to trust. They closely watch any family and friends. An ex-cult member can take years to come to terms with the anger and resentment, even if the deprogramming is successful.’
‘How does deprogramming work?’
‘There’s no magic formula or potion. It’s about getting a member to question and examine their beliefs. Show them similarities to other groups. Read them books and articles they can identify with. Show them videos on cults. Demonstrate that they’re in a trap. Show them they didn’t originally choose to enter the trap.
‘We focus on the present, not what they’ve done but what they can do. We have to build rapport and trust. We have to try and access the pre-cult identity. Put them back in touch with the people they were before. We have to get them to visualise a happy future to undo phobia indoctrination. We have to offer concrete definitions of mind control and characteristics of a destructive cult. We have to be patient and persevere. Some ex-cult members describe it as having fallen deeply in love then finding out you were just being used.’
He sat back in his chair. ‘You know some people never recover from the experience of being in a cult. They’re changed for ever and some would even rather die than try to readjust to normal life.’
‘So, suicide is a very real threat?’ Kim asked, thinking how Sammy’s death had almost been classified as such.
‘Very real,’ he said, looking at his watch. ‘And I’m pretty sure there’s nothing more I can tell you.’
‘How about your real name?’ she asked.
‘Not relevant.’
It had been worth a try.
