Page 127 of Twisted Lies
‘You know, Stone, I’d never admit it in public, but you’re not as bad as everyone—’
‘Yes, I am, as I’m sure you’ll remember the next time you come hassling me at a crime scene. But for now, let’s just say you did a bloody good job. Now bugger off cos I’ve got work to do.’
Kim could hear the reporter chuckling as she ended the call.
Bryant appeared at the door. ‘Guv, I’m all done.’
‘Okay, off you go and don’t forget to take your bucket and spade.’
‘Err… it’s the Cotswolds, guv. Not sure there’s much call for it.’
She smiled as he turned and headed for the door.
Leaving only Stacey, who was once again looking her way.
Kim headed into the squad room.
‘Okay, Stace, out with it,’ she said, hitching herself onto Bryant’s desk. The constable should have been finished an hour ago. She’d hung back for a reason.
Kim tried not to react to the pensive expression on her face as she took a deep breath.
‘Boss, I don’t want it,’ she blurted out.
‘Stace, what are you…?’
‘The promotion, boss. I dow want it. I’m not ready for it and I don’t want it.’
Relief washed over her, not because Stacey didn’t want promotion but that her problem could so easily be fixed. But what she did want was an explanation.
‘Go on.’
‘Boss, my life has changed a lot over the last few months. I’m a married woman, you know,’ she said with a smile as the tension began to ease out of her face. ‘Devon and I are just starting out. It’s scary and exciting and right now I don’t know what I want career wise. I might want to think about kids and stuff, making a family. I don’t want to get caught up in career stuff until I know what I want, and being part of another team while I’m still working stuff out is—’
‘Stace, you can’t let that stop you from advancing,’ Kim said gently, knowing Stacey had done the sums on the DI-to-DS ratio.
‘Boss, I ay naïve enough to think this team will stay together for ever. Dawson’s death taught me that nothing is guaranteed, but right now, for me, it’s the right place to be.’
‘Stace, I think—’
‘Boss, please let me finish,’ Stacey said firmly. Kim realised that the woman needed to have her say.
‘I am dead proud of the fact that you think I’m ready for the rank. Your faith in me is appreciated and I hate to disappoint you but—’
‘Stace, you—’
‘Boss, let me finish. I’m not ready to lead people. I’m not ready to be an example for others to follow. If something makes me angry, I want to shout. If something upsets me, I want to cry. I want the freedom to be me. I ain’t yet grown that inner strength to hide my feelings for the good of others. I know you’re gonna say I’m ready, and in some ways you might be right, but I don’t want it. Not yet.’
‘May I speak now?’ Kim asked with a smile.
‘Sorry, boss, I just—’
‘No need,’ Kim said, holding up her hand. ‘It is part of my job to develop my team. In ability and skill, you are more than ready for the next step in your career, but I will not try and push you into something you’re not ready to do. I just want you to know that when the time comes, you have my total support. Okay?’
Stacey’s eyes reddened as her body appeared to deflate with relief.
Kim guessed that this had not been an easy conversation for the constable.
‘I don’t think it’d hurt to get you out a bit more, so I’m not gonna stop pushing you to improve and challenge yourself.’
