Page 134 of The Odds of Happily Ever After
I shrugged. “Let them. I’m more concerned about you.”
“What about your clients?”
“If they prefer to listen to college rumors over facts, then we’re not a good fit anyway.”
She stared at me. “Just like that?”
“I realized it was stupid of me to care so much about other people’s perceptions of me when I was hurting someone who mattered more to me than their approval.”
“Oh.”
I brought her hand up to my lips and pressed a kiss on it. She bent her head to mine, laying her other hand on my neck.
Though a gap remained between our bodies, I felt fully enveloped in Luna. This was true intimacy. Not the baring of bodies and losing oneself in the other, but the baring of souls—scars, fears, and all—and finding yourself in one specific person.
I used to question why it was Luna who rattled my existence, but now I couldn’t imagine it being someone else. Nothing else, no one else, gave me the feeling of safety and peace that she did, even in this moment of shared vulnerability.
Looking into her eyes, I felt her inhale, and she almost took the breath out of me along with it, and that would have been alright. I would give her anything she wanted without counting what I’d have left behind.
“We can take it one day at a time. Whatever you need.” I squeezed her hand and asked, “Okay?”
She smiled at me. “Okay.”
luna
The sun hadset in the time that we’d been talking, and we used the lights from the streetlamps in the distance to find our way back to Gabe’s car. He held my hand as he drove to my apartment, the simple gesture reassuring me that he was with me—that I hadn’t turned him off with my hesitations.
“I spoke with my father,” he said suddenly.
My focus sharpened because he rarely mentioned his dad. “Is he okay? Did anything happen to him?”
“He’s upset that I kept ignoring his messages. I, ah, kind of railed at him during my birthday. It was why I got drunk.” He gave me an apologetic look.
I squeezed his hand to reassure him that was all in the past. “Were you able to sort that out with him?”
“Not exactly.” His thigh tensed beneath our joined hands. “He asked me to visit for his birthday. It’ll be his sixtieth.”
“That’s a big deal. What did you say?”
“I said I’d check my schedule.” He seemed to want to add something more, but he held back. I was about to speak when he said, “Technically, I could go, but I’m not sure I’m ready to see him.”
I nodded.
“What are you thinking?”
“I guess . . .” I frowned and started over. “I know I feel bad when my parents overlook me, so I can only imagine how much more painful it would be for them to abandon me when I needed them. I don’t know if I’d be able to forgive them right away . . . but maybe it’s not about that.”
Gabe glanced at me. “What do you mean?”
“Maybe it’s about giving yourself the opportunity to heal. None of us know when our time will run out, so we don’t get to prepare for it.” Memories of Lola’s last few days came back to me. I’d had to take breaks from being with her because seeing her in pain hurt me too, and I still sometimes wondered if I’d done enough to care for her. “It can happen anytime, and I’m thinking it would suck if I had the chance to get closure but I didn’t take it, and then I’d have to live with that regret every day.”
As if he knew where my mind had gone, he brought my hands to his lips and kissed it. “You’re saying I should go?”
“I don’t want to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do, because only you lived through your experiences with your father. But if there’s a part of you that wants to, maybe that’s enough to go with.”
“His birthday is next Saturday.”
“When does your resignation take effect?”
