Page 20 of Ms Perfectly Fine
“Oh my God, I’m going to be so late!” She ran up the stairs, leaving him with a mess.
“Don’t worry. I’ll clean up,” he called, but there was no reply, only faint cursing as he heard either her bedroom or the bathroom door slamming.
Elijah picked up the paint bucket and avoided touching anything else with his paint-covered hands. Since he had to wait for her to leave to use the bathroom, he used a kitchen towel to wipe his face and carefully removed his T-shirt. A few moments later, he heard the front door open and close.
“Not even a goodbye or a thank you,” he mumbled to himself, but he had to admit he was just as much to blame for the mess as she was.
Once he cleaned himself up and the hallway no longer looked as though a paint bomb had gone off, he sat down to work. Plenty of emails were already waiting for him. A few hours had passed when a message came in on his phone.
Tim sent me your number. Thank you for cleaning up the mess. A :)
Elijah smiled at his phone like an idiot. No woman had ever had this effect on him. He thought about replying, but he figured it was better to let a good thing lie.
Chapter Six
Autumn
“ELIJAH PAINTED?” NINA said, sitting on the damp park bench. It was a nice day for a walk, so they’d decided to have lunch in the park at the heart of Wickford.
“Yep, but he only did it because he thought it would piss me off,” Autumn said, wiping the bench with her sleeve to get rid of the droplets from the oak tree above. It was nice to be away from the rush of office workers.
“And it didn’t? You made me trek tohowmany paint stores to pick out that specific shade of blue?” Nina exclaimed, unwrapping her BLT sandwich.
“It wasn’t that many stores!” Autumn watched a family playing not far from them and took a generous gulp of coffee.
Nina gave her a knowing look.
“Okay, it was more than a few,” she admitted. “When I woke up and smelt the paint, my stomach dropped. I thought he’d pick an awful colour to wind me up, but it was actually nicer than what I already had. About halfway down the stairs, I caught him dancing—painting, but dancing,” she said, laughing at the memory. It was certainly not what she’d expected to find in her hallway at eight a.m., but it had been better than a bunch of movers in overalls.
“That’s adorable.” Nina sniggered with her mouth half full. “Does he know you caught him?”
“No. He had headphones on, so he didn’t hear me. I waited until he went into the kitchen and then called out. I didn’t want to frighten him.” She also hadn’t wanted him to know how long she’d been watching him.
Autumn did everything herself—put up her own shelves and hung the paintings she bought at the local artists’ market—and she prided herself on that independence, but seeing Elijah putting effort into the house had made her feel surprisingly at ease. As opposed to every other waking moment, when he was driving her crazy. She still hadn’t forgiven him for tossing her over his shoulder like a ragdoll; even thinking about it made her blush.
“So he isn’t all bad. Do I sense there might even be an inkling of understanding between you?” Nina teased, finishing her sandwich.
“I think if we can keep some distance from each other, then we should be fine,” Autumn agreed, choosing not to tell her friend about what had happened in the earlier hours of the morning. “I don’t have much choice since Tim won’t answer my calls. I won’t get to talk to him until our monthly meeting on Monday.”
“It’s only a few more days. It’s okay to have more people in your life. You can manage more than you think,” Nina said.
“This isn’t about managing. I just want to protect myself.”
“From him, or from your own feelings?” Nina asked, trying to meet her eye.
Autumn didn’t know how to respond. It had been easy to let Nina into her life because they worked together; they’d been forced together. Now, the same was happening with Elijah. She wished it were easy for her to accept a new person in her life, to be carefree and go with the flow. But with all she’d been through, she found comfort not in people, but in controlling her surroundings. There was so much she didn’t have a say over—her memories, her pain—but shecouldcontrol who came and went from her life for the most part. Her home was her bubble, the one place she could remove her mask and be unashamedly herself. To cry or yell or weep in the shower until the water ran cold. The thought of someone witnessing her rawest self terrified her.
If we weren’t forced to live together, would we have got on? Not even in a romantic sense, but as just friends?Sharing a home with him meant she had no way of controlling what he did and didn’t see. She didn’t know if he would accept her, pity her, or dismiss her. The worst part was, she didn’t know which of the three she feared most.
Nina placed a hand on her shoulder, disrupting her thoughts. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. This isn’t about Elijah; I worry you close yourself off, and I don’t think it would hurt you to take a risk or two.”
“I know you mean well, but you’ll never understand what it’s like to live in my body. I’ve worked for years to reach a baseline, but I’m still expected to go further. I’m doing the best I can. Between the stress of rehearsals and now Elijah, it’s about as much as I can manage.” She swallowed, trying to stop the tears from welling up.
Nina wrapped her arms around her. “I didn’t mean to pressure you. Sometimes I forget how much you go through because you hide it so well. If you’re happy, then I’m happy. We should get back,” she said gently.
“I don’t mean to hide it. I’m soboredof the cramps and spasms and sleepless nights—I bore myself just thinking about it! So talking about it just exhausts me. I’m fine, really. It’s just been a crazy few days,” Autumn managed to say, gathering up the rubbish from their lunch.
“You don’t have to be fine. Not with me,” Nina promised, taking her arm as they left the park. Autumn didn’t want to leave. She wished they could hide in the park a while longer, but they couldn’t be late for afternoon rehearsals.
