Page 39 of Ms Perfectly Fine
Autumn went to the dressing room and put down her bag. Though she had rushed out of the house to avoid Elijah’s questions about last night, she’d managed to grab a heat patch before she made a quick escape. Once it was secured, the heat greeting her aching back like a warm hug, she was ready to tackle morning rehearsals.
Before she could greet Aimee, waving at her from the other side of the stage, she noticed Heather whispering something to Sasaki. The way his concerned eyes lingered on her, she had no doubt it was about her. She didn’t even get a chance to put her sheet music down before their conductor waved her over.
“I don’t think this conversation needs to involve me,” Heather said sweetly. Autumn got the sinking feeling she wasn’t going to enjoy what was coming.
“Let’s talk in private,” Sasaki said, leading her to the wing of the stage.
“Busy morning?” Autumn asked, trying to divert the attention away from herself.
“No changing the subject. I can tell from the way you are walking that your back is troubling you.” He frowned, looking her over like she was a wounded animal. It made sense, since she felt like she had been hit by a truck, but he didn’t need to know that.
“My back is fine. I’m walking funny because I broke a mug and stepped on a shard,” she explained.
His eyebrows rose, waiting for the rest of the story.
“It’s a spasm. Nothing to worry about,” she said, but the way he sighed told her he wasn’t convinced.
“First the spasms, then you’ll be on bed rest for a few weeks. We can’t take that chance,” he said, already ushering her towards the dressing room.
“I can play! Give me an hour to practise with the others and then I’ll go.”
“I may be your friend, but here I’m the conductor, and you will go home. Tomorrow, we’ll talk again. I don’t want to see your darling face until Monday,” Sasaki said, handing Autumn her bag from her dressing table.
“Heather said something, didn’t she?” she asked. Usually when she protested, he gave in, but clearly, Heather had sealed her fate.
“She only mentioned that you were taking something in the car; she was concerned,” Sasaki admitted.
“What I take or don’t take is none of her business. It could have been vitamins,” she argued.
“Was it?” he asked, folding his arms.
“No, but still, that’s not the point. Heather should have minded her own damn business!”
“She was right to be concerned. A couple of days off won’t kill you, and leaning on painkillers isn’t the way to cope. You don’t want to have to white-knuckle it through the performance. If you are struggling, I can call Marcus Lerou. He just finished touring and would be happy to help if you want to minimise your role,” Sasaki suggested.
Autumn’s stomach tightened as though she’d been punched in the gut. She’d heard of Marcus; he was what the tabloids called ‘the next Autumn Adler.’ She hated the thought of being replaced, and she wasn’t going to let it happen. If he took her spot, then he really would be replacing her. That hurt more than her back, which was currently sending pins and needles into her left leg.
Taking a levelling breath, she tried to remain calm. “You don’t need to call anyone. I can manage just fine. People have bought tickets to see me, not Lerou,” she reasoned, trying not to let the hurt affect her voice.
“The audience paid to see your solo, and you can keep your solo. You won’t be disappointing anyone. For the rest of the show, however, we might need to look at other options,” Sasaki said, his tone telling her it wasn’t up for discussion.
“I said I can handle—”
“I will just call him. He’ll be on stand-by. As much as I want you to play the whole show, you aren’t the only one on that stage, and I won’t cancel the show because I failed to have a substitute ready,” Sasaki said firmly.
There was little point in arguing with him. He had seen first-hand what happened when she ignored her symptoms and pushed herself too hard. She also knew that after years of being in pain, her increased tolerance meant the pain only grabbed her attention when it was on its way to getting out of hand. It wasn’t fair! After everything she’d done to try and ensure the pain didn’t control her life, here it was again, coming between her and her goals. And there was nothing she could do about it. Her jaw tightened with all the words she wanted to say, but as they reached the performers’ entrance, he pushed it open.
“No more arguing. Home now,” he ordered.
Even if his threat came from a place of concern, she hated not having a choice. She lifted her hands in defeat. “Okay, I’ll go.”
“See you on Monday. And no practising at home either. Don’t make me have to do spot checks, because I will!” He closed the door on her.
Alone, a laugh escaped her, and a whirlwind of relief and upset collided within her. She couldn’t cry. She headed for the street and spotted Nina walking down the street towards her.
“Sorry I couldn’t pick you up. My car wouldn’t start,” Nina said in a frenzy, and then her eyes drifted to the bag on Autumn’s shoulder. “Where are you going?”
“Bad night. Sasaki is giving me the weekend off.” Autumn tried to keep her expression neutral. The last thing she needed was for Nina to report that she was upset and make Sasaki think she couldn’t handle the pressure.
