Page 45 of Potions and Proposals
“You jumped between us, grabbing my hand. You think I’m dangerous.” He held out his hand, and she saw the raw pink marks where she’d burned him.
“I didn’t mean or want to hurt you. I was protecting you from him.” She kept her voice low, needing him to know she hadn’t done it on purpose. “You’ve lost your brother, your dad. I wasn’t going to let you get in a fight with him on Foxford soil!”
“I can handle myself, with or without my element.”
Lucy sighed, taking his hand so that he’d listen. “You so much as scratch Emerson, do you know what they’d do to the person who hurt someone acting as their representative?”
Benedict stared down at their hands.
“They’d call for you to be handed over for breaking our neutrality clause. Is that what you want? For your mum to hand you over to the Order like she had to do with your father? You can be damn sure I wouldn’t be there to watch it happen. Grams has defended you in the past. Even my mum deemed you worthy of claiming her seat – and you wanted to throw all that away because Emerson spoke without thought.”
He let the words settle between them in silence, his thumb running over the back of her hand. Lucy decided she preferred it when they were squabbling.
“I’m sorry for mentioning your family,” she said again. “No matter how much we fight, I don’t want to see you hurt.”
Benedict let go of her to run his hand through his hair. She wished they’d kept talking about their elemental problem.
“I shouldn’t have antagonised him. I… need you to know that my dad was trying to help those creatures.” Her chest tightened at the thick edge of sadness in his voice. “The creatures were infected with a sickness no healer could cure.”
She’d heard the story from Grams, but never from Benedict himself. The creatures had come to Foxford several years ago to be healed, but Grams had been unable to help them. Benedict’s dad had found a spell that was said to cure all ailments.
“He really believed that spell would be able to help them. I know it seems unlikely, but what you have to believe is that Dad didn’t know it would end their lives,” Benedict explained.
That had been the cure: death, a merciful end. When the Order had found out, they’d called for his execution. After that, Lucy had become obsessed with translating old grimoires meticulously. She’d wanted to prevent such a mishap from ever occurring again. Maybe if his father had understood it wasn’t ahealingspell, but amercyspell, Benedict would still have a father, and a brother who hadn’t died trying to resurrect him after the sentence was carried out.
“You don’t need to defend him. Your dad was a good man who wanted to help,” she said quietly.
Benedict tilted his head back, as though trying to stop tears from spilling. She’d never seen him so vulnerable. The element spell going wrong must’ve been triggering for him.
“Peter just wanted him back. It was his grief…” He’d never spoken like this about his family to Lucy before; in spite of herself, her own eyes filled with tears. “He was only sixteen.”
Peter’s fate haunted her. The penalty for necromancy.
“You try to cheat death, and you become it.” He shook his head.
Lucy sat on the edge of the bed. Had he spoken toanyoneabout this before? The pain in his voice added to her guilt.“You don’t need to justify their actions to me. I never should’ve brought them up tonight. I didn’t want you to get involved in my work with the Order. My work doesn’t involve you, and Emerson’s arrival couldn’t come at a worse time.”
He grimaced. “It does involve me.”
“The library and all it contains is my responsibility. How has that got anything to do with you?”
“Because it’syourresponsibility.”
The words seemed to surprise him as much as they did her.
“You’re worried about me?” she asked, as he suddenly found his feet very interesting.
“Yes! You’re….” He cut himself off, standing over her.
“I’m what?” she pressed, seeing a trace of concern in his gaze.
He hesitated. Maybe Grams was right; maybe he did have feelings for her. Her stomach knotted, and she wasn’t sure if the sensation was altogether unpleasant.
“You’re holding my element and working with a member of the order. If that’s exposed, we aren’t just going to be judged by the coven for reckless use of magic,” he said eventually.
Silence crowded them. Lucy pushed aside any thought of feelings and hoped for a truce. “How about we both agree to react less and think more?”
“Agreed.” He nodded, offering her his hand.
