Page 49 of Tis The Season for Secrets
I’m so sorry. I wish that was enough, but I know it isn’t. I’m a coward for not speaking to you in person. To know you’re in Yule has brought me so much joy that I dare to selfishly hope we will be reunited soon. I know this must be all a terrible shock to you, but I hope you’ll forgive me for putting you through all this. There’s nothing more that I want than to come to you right now, but it’s not time yet. I wanted you have something from me personally. For you to hear our story from me.
There is one thing especially I want to tell you, so that you know without a shadow of a doubt how much I love you. When I found out I was pregnant with you, I couldn’t have been happier. Your father and I were going to go to the council of Yule together and tell them everything.
However, your grandfather found out and reported us to the council before we got the chance. I was escorted back to Yule, and they wouldn’t let me talk to your father or leave the village. My family were enraged by what I’d done, the shame I’d brought to our family. You come from a long line of those who have protected Yule and their descendants, and my love for someone from the family who tried to expose our world was the ultimate betrayal.
I was so young, only twenty-one– not that my age is an excuse. Watching over the Frost family was my first assignment, and I fell in love with someone I shouldn’t have. That being said, Iwantneed you to know how much it tore me apart to give you up. But I thought you deserved a life away from shame. I feared what it would be like for you to be raised in Yule, given the stigma that comes with the Frostname. I truly believed in my heart that you would be better off.
Once you were born, you were brought to the Frost family. I held you for only three hours before you were taken from my arms. I thought it would kill me, but I hoped and prayed that in time, I would get to see you again.
The tear-stainedletter told Juliet that it had been as hard for her mom to write as it was for her to read. She couldn’t believe the world could be so cruel as to take a newborn from her mother’s arms. She rationalised that it had been a different time, but still, an anger she’d never known before gripped her heart.
The council decided that the only way for me to remain in Yule and maintain my position with the guardians was to be stripped of my Outside guardian rank. I wasn’t allowed to leave Yule, and forbidden from making any contact with you or the Frost family. I can only hope that the legacy laws will play in our favour and that we can be reunited. Not a day has gone by that I don’t regret my decision to give you up. It kills me to know you’re so close and I can’t see you. Mrs Klaus told me how kind and beautiful you are. I hope you can forgive me. I’ve enclosed the last letter your father sent me, because I need you to know how much we loved each other and how wanted you were. Are.
Mum x
I hope very much that you will allow me to earn this title in time x
Juliet forced herself to start the next letter before she crumbled completely; she wasn’t sure how much longer she had to herself before the rest of the house woke up. Her dad’s writing was faded, as though the letter had been read repeatedly.
My love,
There is so much I need to say to you, but no words will describe how my heart aches. I wish you hadn’t left us. I promised you that I’d find a way for us to be together, but I fear my father and the council have got to you. Whatever he promised you, or threatened you with, we can figure it out. I know you love me, and I won’t accept your last letter. Even if you can leave me for your oath to Yule, I can’t believe you can leave our girl. She is so like you, and I swear she scrunches her nose just as you do when you’re upset. She won’t sleep at night unless I hold her tiny hand, and I’ve named her Juliet after your favourite play.
I know how much you love her, and I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to be without her. To hold her is my greatest joy and sorrow, but even if it’s a day, a week, or five years, we will be waiting for you to be a family again.
I don’t even know if this letter will reach you. Please come back to us – we can have a new life away from the past. We can forget about oaths, names, fortunes and find our own world to disappear into. Please, Eloise, I beg you to come home and marry me. Let us be a family. I know sacrificing Yule would mean sacrificing your home, your family, but we can build our own. We can start again, just us three. Please. I love you.
I’ve attached a polaroid of Juliet with her favourite toy. She won’t let the pink duck my dad got her out of her sight.
Forever yours,
J x
Numb, Juliet sat on the porch and set the letters down beside her. She couldn’t even feel the cold. If she hadn’t recognisedthe handwriting, she would have believed her father’s letter had been written by a perfect stranger. She’d never seen this side of him – never known him to beg for anything or anyone. His heartbreak echoed in his words. How could her mom have read this and held strong?
Maybe this heartbreak is what froze his heart for good.She couldn’t remember him ever speaking to Gillian this way, or even telling her he loved her. Then again, she realised her dad had kept his promise; he’d waited those five years. Thinking back, she couldn’t remember if she’d been six or seven the first time she’d met Gillian.
Juliet knew Mrs Klaus had passed this letter on to satisfy her curiosity for a time, but it only fuelled her desire to meet Eloise. Resting her head in her hands, she remembered the green Post-It note in her pocket. Mom’s address.When Mrs Klaus had caught her with the address book, she’d already copied it out.
Over her shoulder, she stared at the front door. She knew she should go back, have breakfast, and hear more embarrassing stories about Will. Or… if she followed those ridiculously cute candy-striped lampposts, they would lead her to a sleigh rank, and she could ask her mom why she’d decided to stay when her father had wanted to build a new life with her.
“Will, have you seen Juliet?” Lyla asked, coming into the kitchen, where Will and Kevin were discussing whether mint or strawberry candy canes were better. Mint, obviously. “I was going to ask her to be my partner for the snowman contest this afternoon. Thought it’d be a good way for her to get used to the village.”
Will had quickly realised the plan to leave Yule as soon as possible was going to be an impossibility with this lot. He just hoped Juliet’s family weren’t too worried about her disappearing act. Then again, Mr Frost would probably be pleased they’d disappeared off together.
“Nice try, but she said last nightwe’dpartner up for the snowman-building contest,” Kevin said. “You gotta be faster than that.”
Lyla swatted him playfully, and Kevin blew her a mocking kiss.
“She wasn’t out with you this morning?” Will asked, putting down his coffee cup. “When I woke up, she was already up and gone.” There was no way she’d run off again, not after last time– was she trying to give him a heart attack? He tried not to jump to conclusions.
“No, I had breakfast with Lou and dropped her off at the sleigh workshop,” Lyla said, securing her curls with a red ribbon.
Oh God, where the hell is she?Will tried to stay calm, but the look in Lyla’s eye told him she was thinking the same as him. If she was caught, they’d all be in trouble.
Mason walked in, all sweaty. “Relax, guys, I saw her on my run. She was following the lamp posts, heading down the back trail to the village. I’m sure she just wanted some air. I tried to call out to her, but she couldn’t hear me.”
“Out for a run in the snow? You’re doing a great impression of Rudolph,” Lyla said, kissing her fiancé’s red nose, then groaning as he snuggled her in his sweaty arms. “I’m sure you warned Lyla about the wolves in the woods?” she asked Will with a hopeful smile.
