Page 10 of Not Another Rockstar
“There is quite the crowd out there, sir.” The guard ignored her and addressed Cillian. “Are you sure you don’t want to call your personal security to escort you?”
“He isn’t escorting me anywhere. Open the gate.”
“Just get in the car!” Cillian banged on the car door, startling her. “Stop making this man’s job harder. If something happens to you then he could lose his job, and Nick wouldn’t want you leaving on your own.”
“Then why didn’t he come?” Phoebe asked. She considered calling her brother, but they’d agreed long ago that they wouldn’t get involved in each other’s relationships.
“Who do you think sent me to fix this? Please let me explain, and if you still hate me by the time I’m done, you’ll be back at your hotel, and you can slam the door in my face.”
As much as she hated him, she was tired of his pleading and the security guard’s judgemental stares. A twenty-minute drive of his excuses, and then she could pack her bags and leave. Without a word, Phoebe walked to the passenger door, and pulled it open.
“Thank you,” Cillian said, motioning to the security guard.
“Don’t thank him for forcing me to get into the car with you,” she grumbled, placing her bag on her lap.
Despite the early hour, the gate opened to dozens of screaming fans. Phoebe dipped her head to conceal her face, not wanting to be photographed as they drove away from the stadium. Yesterday, she would’ve been proud to sit by Cillian’s side. Now, tears burnt her tired eyes, and she refused to let him or the fans see her cry.
“Are you ever going to look at me?” Cillian asked, shifting gears.
“Why would I want to look at you? It would only remind me of what I saw last night. Of what you did to me, to us!” Phoebe choked back her emotions and focused on the streets outside.
“I’m sorry you had to see that,” he said. “I was on a high from the show, and in other ways. We were celebrating, and she was there. It happened so fast, and then you were standing there, and I panicked. There’s been so much going on and I feel like I’mdisappointing everyone. I messed up, but please don’t let this be how we end.” His excuses sounded rehearsed.
Though her heart wanted to believe him, remembering how Helen had reacted, like Phoebe was the one in the wrong, made her believe this was more than one mistake. Had he been cheating every time he was stressed or away from home?
“Don’t put this on me. You ended us the moment you slept with her. I apologised for you when people asked why you weren’t at my exhibit, when you missed my birthday or forgot to call on Valentine’s Day. I made every excuse for you, and you couldn’t even respect me enough to break up with me before screwing your make-up artist.”
“I should’ve known you secretly resented me,” he huffed. “I can’t believe you’re bringing all this up now. I thought you understood my responsibilities and that I can’t always be there.”
“This isn’t about resentment but respect. I’ve been there for you every step of the way since we were fourteen. I believed in you when you wanted to give up. I cheered when no one else did—but what I didn’t know was that you were too busy partying and cheating to be there for me. You didn’t even call me yesterday.” She tried not to let her voice crack. “You didn’t even lock the fucking door.”
“Why are you so obsessed with the door?” he snapped.
“Because you didn’t care who walked in! You didn’t care who found out. You didn’t care that I’d be humiliated, the clueless idiot always talking about how lucky I am to have you and how we were so lucky to find each other. Does everyone know about the two of you?”
“It was only one time—”
“Don’t you dare lie, or I swear I will jump out of this moving car.”
“It’s complicated. You haven’t been around, and I didn’t have anyone to talk to.”
“So it’s my fault?” she gasped.
“No, I made the mistake and I’ve apologised. Why are you making this so hard? I’m trying my best to keep us together.” He banged his palm against the steering wheel, and the car shook. She froze in her seat, terrified he’d lose control of the car.
“Keep us all together?” She wanted to laugh, but feared his reaction. “If you love me so much, why didn’t you come after me last night? You stayed with her,” she said. “Axel had been the one to chase me down when it should’ve been you, the person I promised to spend the rest of my life with.”
“Nick locked me in my dressing room to sober up. I was out of my mind, then I passed out. I didn’t know you were with Axel, and he had no business getting involved. I only found out where you were this morning when I met the others for breakfast.”
He swerved to avoid a cyclist, and she gripped the side of the door. With the way he was driving she needed him to focus more on the road and less on her.
“You’ve no right to be angry at Axel, he has nothing to do with this. If anything, you should be thanking him for stopping me from leaving,” Phoebe said as he turned down a narrow street.
“Oh, I’m sure he was happy to keep you company. You’re so naive,” he scoffed.
She hated his insinuation. “Naive enough to believe you wouldn’t cheat on me.”
She focused on the sunrise; it shouldn’t be long before they were at the hotel.
