Page 44 of Not Another Rockstar
“There is no point in lying,” Axel said to her as she hesitated. “I think we’ve all had enough lies, and we can’t move forward if we don’t start being completely honest with each other.”
“Yes,” she confessed, feeling a weight lift from her shoulders. “But only for the last album, and we still worked together on it. It wasn’t entirely me.”
They all gawked at her like she’d grown a second head.
“You’re like a walking media disaster. Anything else we need to know? Any lovers in the wings or other secret talents thatmight blow up in our faces?” Anita ranted, her face turning a nice shade of red.
“Back off,” Axel cut in. “Phoebe’s work has been making you, us, money for years and she hasn’t expected a thing in return. You—weshould be thanking her, because without her now, we are finished.”
Nick’s nostrils flared, looking like he wanted to punch something. Probably Cillian, but it was too late for that.
“You’ve been writing our songs?” Nick stammered, taking the notebook from August. “How could you not tell me? I’m your brother!” He slammed the notebook on the table. “We promised not to get involved in each other’s careers. I accepted your relationship with him, but you’ve been doing this behind my back for years! When did this start?”
“I don’t know, but it was after you were already signed. Cillian was struggling and I just helped,” she said, hating the look of betrayal in her brother’s eyes. “Over time, it became a habit. I never wanted to lie about it, but it felt so harmless, and it’s only words—you guys did everything else.”
“I don’t know what to say. I don’t know whether to be angry, grateful or pissed that Cillian kept this from me.” Nick ran his hands through his hair. “When did you find out about this?” He turned to Axel.
“The concert in Munich,” Axel confessed. “I found the notebook in my bus after they’d left.”
“I’d come to surprise Cillian with it that night,” Phoebe added, and the room drifted into silence.
“Okay. Here’s what we are going to do,” Anita said, taking charge as she always did. Phoebe wished she wouldn’t micromanage them so much. “We need this album, so we’ll continue as normal.” Anita turned to Phoebe. “Next album, you keep your hands off. We can bring in some songwriters,if necessary, but the fans don’t need to know about your past involvement.”
“The whole point of this concert is to honour Cillian and help with the negative press,” Axel countered. “Maybe telling the fans that Phoebe’s the reason they have all the songs they love might help bridge the gap.”
“Or those who already blame me will think I’m trying to take credit for his work,” Phoebe pointed out.
“Enough,” Anita huffed. “There is enough chaos right now. We don’t need any more surprises, or the label will skin us alive. We need this next album to make back all that was lost with the cancelling of the tour.”
“You can have the songs, but I don’t want anyone to know I wrote them,” Phoebe said, not wanting to be accused of stealing the spotlight or tainting Cillian’s memory. She couldn’t win no matter what she did, so staying out of it was best for everyone.
“Good, and can you promise to lay low between now and the concert?” Anita asked. Phoebe hated her condescending tone. Still, she was trying to stop their ship from going under.
“I haven’t left the house except for physio, I can’t get a much lower profile than that,” Phoebe pointed out. She had no power over what the media did; she’d never realised she could be everywhere and nowhere all at once.
“I know you’re doing your best, but the news about your studio has kicked everything up again,” Anita said.
“This is bullshit,” Axel muttered under his breath. “Secrets have done nothing but cause this mess in the first place.”
“I don’t want the credit. Like I said, we wrote the songs together. Consider it my parting gift.” Phoebe looked at the notebook that contained the last remnants of their relationship.
“If she doesn’t want the credit we shouldn’t force her,” Nick argued. “It’s only one more album. Then we can take some time to figure out next steps.”
“Exactly. We just need to get through the storm and then we can reassess,” Phoebe said. “Now isn’t the time to drop another bombshell on the fans.”
August nodded. “I’m with Phoebe.”
“Is this what you really want?” Axel asked Phoebe.
She nodded.
“Fine, we can get started on producing,” Nick said. “The concert can be a way of saying goodbye to Cillian and for the world to get a chance for closure. I’ll just have to sing and play, and Axel, you’ll have to support more on vocals.”
Axel grumbled a little but agreed.
“Good.” Anita beamed. “I’ll tell the label the concert is on, and that we’ll announce the new album the same night, in Cillian’s honour.” She couldn’t hide her satisfied grin. Of course she couldn’t—she loved getting her way. “Getting back to normal is best for everyone.”
They all exchanged a look. Nothing about this felt normal.
