Page 6 of Trading Up
I think that was when I started to fall for her.
Slowly, over time, I couldn’t help it. She truly was my best friend, the person I went to with all my wins and losses, all my concerns. Everyone could see it but her. She was someone I wanted to be with, that I could see the future with. This was something I’d never wanted or was able to visualize with any other woman. My pops pulled me aside before we left to talk, man to man.
“She’s a great girl. What’s goin’ on there?”
“Just a friend, Pops.” He shook his head, a smile on his face as he clapped his hand over my shoulder, pulling me in close like he was about to share state secrets.
“Listen, son. I don’t regret your mama. Cause that would mean I regret you, and I don’t, never have. Not for a second. But Jess? She was the friend who got away. The one I never told my feelings to until it was too late, until I’d already been hookin’ up with your mama and she was pregnant with you. When your mama left and Jess’s divorce came through at the same time, it felt like fate stepped in. Like somehow, the universe was determined that we find our way back to each other. It doesn’t always happen that way.” He leveled me with a look that I wouldn’t fully understand until later. Much later. When she said, ‘You have to meet Will!’ and sounded so damn happy, it made my heart stutter and my smile falter. I understood that look then. And I understood it even more when she looked at me and said, ‘You ready to be an Uncle?’ and I wanted to scream that I wanted to be a daddy! A daddy to our babies! I went home that night and cried. My mother and father came over and heldme. They stayed with me for a month because I could only pull myself out of bed. I stopped eating, I stopped caring. She was well and truly gone.
“Don’t let her get away, son.” But I did. I went off to follow my passion, knowing I’d make it one day, and then she’d never have to cook another day in her life because I’d pour every bit of love into everything I made her to eat. I would also finally be someone worthy of her. But while I was away, someone else moved in.
Making her think he was good enough for her.
I’d warned him. I warned him the day I met him, the day they married, and he didn’t listen. I knew he wouldn’t. I knew he’d fuck up and show his colors eventually. Didn’t think it’d take this long, but damn. He promised her on their wedding day, ‘There will never be another, because I will be there, ’ but he won’t. Not now. Not ever again.
Because I wasn’t going to let her get away again. Never again. I learned from my mistakes. The car door opened, my nephews piling into their seats, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Unc!” they cheered, buckling their seatbelts, abandoning their backpacks on the floorboard. I waved to the school attendants from the pick-up line, double-checking that they’re buckled up before pulling out. They launched into telling me about their day and asking a million questions, mainly where their mom was and if we were going to have a sleepover at my house. We usually only did that on weekends to give Sarah a break. She hadn’t had one of those for the last couple of years unless I took the boys. Which I did happily.
Sometimes she just brought all of them over, wanting adult time, but away from Will’s friends. Last time she was over,two months ago, she said it felt like something had changed with the group. That they hardly talked to her when they went on the monthly group date. It made sense with what we found out today.
“You guys are gonna have a sleepover at my place tonight. Pillow forts, pizza, and whatever movies you guys want. It’s a Thursday, almost the end of the week. I don’t think your mom will be upset if we men stay up a bit later,” I smiled at them in the rearview, hearing the excited gasps from them. They loved sleepovers at my apartment. I almost always cooked for them and had them help me fix something around the apartment, even if it didn’t technically need fixing. I wanted to show them what a man did, and how a man, a king, took care of his castle, keeping it perfect for his queen. During the summer, we’d grill out on the balcony, swim in the pool, and when I could convince Sarah to come with us instead of cleaning the house and tidying shit up, we’d all go fishing at the little spot Pops took me to when I was a kid. Same place his Pops took him when he was a boy.
I loved these boys, like they were mine. I hated myself for not saying anything about how I felt to her, and for letting so many years go by when I should have said something. I should have listened to Pops. He helped pull me out of the bottom of the bottle of Henney that I was drowning in after her wedding, and again when she announced she was pregnant with Carter. I hadn’t thought it would take this long, this many years, but now she was free. Or about to be.
And I’d be there for her.
Whatever she needed.
*****
My phone rang around four-thirty when I was ordering pizzas for the boys and me from Sarah’s favorite bistro and getting the tomato soup and grilled cheese she craved when she was sad. Sarah was still asleep on the couch; the boys were helping me check out the garden we started a couple of weeks ago behind the apartment building, along with the herbs that were growing on the trellis on the balcony. I needed my hands free as we looked at the little plants, small watering cans in the boys' hands, so I grabbed my ear buds before we headed down to check on our little garden. I felt my phone buzz and saw it was Jenson. I popped an earbud in, answering my phone.
“Jenson, what you got for me?” I said, standing a bit back from the boys so they wouldn’t hear. This wasn’t for little ears.
“It’s athickfolder. It’s not gonna be pretty. When you want it?” Fuck. Probably tonight. I didn’t want to cash in my favor and take up his time over the weekend, too. We needed to brainstorm how to get the most out of this divorce to make sure she and the boys were secure.
“Tonight. Y'all can come for dinner. We ordered pizza from the bistro, enough for everyone, then they’re gonna head to their room for movies and popcorn!” I tried to sound excited for them, and cheers rang out from the boys as they ran back toward the back door, watering cans in hand.
“You a nanny now?”
“Nah. Sarah’s sleepin’ on the couch. Emotionally exhausted, she needs it. But I want to make sure the boys are busy with somethin’ else while we do this. They’re too young for the things we’ll find.”
“Alright. Pete and I will be there in like, an hour?” he sounded like he was packing up for the day. Something heavysmacked his desk. Fuck I hoped that wasn’t the folder for us. Whatever smacked on his desk sounded thick.
“Going to pick up the food in thirty,” I said, as the boys cheered, effectively waking up Sarah. I smiled at her sleepy smile as the boys piled on top of her. This was what I wanted. Every night for the rest of my life.
“Yeah, yeah. See you after.”
Twenty minutes later, I was walking out the door after letting Sarah know I would be back soon. She got up, and the boys were practically on top of her, walking with her to the bathroom, telling her about their day. They also told her that if we stayed tomorrow too, we were going to be cleaning up the garden, and they’d be helping me cook dinner. I mentioned grillin’ out, and they loved it so much that they want to go to the store to go shopping tomorrow. They washed their hands, coming out to set the table with the dishes I’d set there for them. Maverick took the silverware for Sarah and set it at her place while Carter set out the napkins for everyone, and Sarah set the plates where they needed to go. She looked confused at the six place settings when there was a knock at the door.
“I got it!” Carter yelled as I took the food out of the bag for Sarah and set the pies on the table, following Sarah to the front door, a little Mav on my heels.
“Uh…Unc? There are two guys here,” Sarah walked over, a protective hand reaching out to Carter’s shoulder, her face set in a hard stare.
“We’re friends of Dev. He called in a favor and invited us for dinner,” Jenson said with a dismissive wave as he took a step forward, my girl shifting Carter behind her like the sexy mama bear she had always been, and standing her ground. With a smileon my face, I pressed my hand to her lower back, shifting Carter back one more step, which stopped his little brother.
“Jenson,” I said, giving a nod, my hand out to him, Pete behind him.
