Page 48 of Glass and Bone
“Mistakes? What do you mean?” His hand squeezes mine and he pulls me closer. I lean in slightly, not wanting to miss what it is he is going to say, but also worried about getting close to him. I can see Tobias watching us, worried. I hold my breath to avoid inhaling the scent of death and decay. He smells less like cinnamon and citrus and more like rot.
“Your mother was the love of my life.” My eyes widen as they meet his. I try to pull back, but he keeps a firm grip on my hand. “Your father was never happy about you being their only child. He pushed her for an heir. So much. She was doing everything she could to conceive a boy, but they never made it to full term. Your father killed her when he found out she had been coming here. We promised her we would protect you, that is why you were engaged as children. She knew that you would never be safe with Viktor. She almost had your father convinced to send you here permanently as a child, to grow up here in court, but then she died.” He pulls his hand away from mine to cough and I lean back, absorbing everything he has said.
“But my father said it was the prophet, that he murdered her.” I whisper. My father murdered my mother? He murdered her because she fell in love with another?
“Love him, protect him. Do not let him allow anger to guide his actions.” He reaches forward and his fingers gently brush my cheek. “You are so much like her. I only wish I would be here to watch you grow.” Red tinged tears trickle down his face and onto the bed as he stares into my eyes. He looks so much like a father saying goodbye to his child, maybe he was kind once. Maybe my childhood self cared for him.
“I will take care of him.” I whisper, fighting the tears that threaten to escape. This is a lot of information to absorb at once. My father murdered my mother, so he says. My mother was in love with Evreux, so he says. I am engaged to his son to protect me because Evreux made a promise to my mother,so he says. I don’t know if I believe him, but I have no one else to provide insight into their lives. I don’t think I’ll ever know the truth.
“Both of them. Take care of both of them.” He whispers.
“Can I ask you something, Evreux?” He nods weakly. “There is no chance you could be my father, right? If I am to marry Tobias–”
“No, not at all. I was never with your mother. When I laid eyes on your mother the first time, when she was engaged to Argent, my world shifted. It was as if everything suddenly made sense.” He smiles softly as his eyes stare at something that isn’t there.
“But Queen Amaya?” I stutter. Did he not love his wife? Will Tobias be the same?
“I loved Amaya, with everything in me, but we were notinlove. We were only husband and wife in name. We were both happier that way.” I nod, processing everything he’s said. He coughs, blood pooling in his mouth. “I am so sorry for any pain I have inflicted. I never meant to cause you harm. I get confused, as if I am transported back in time for mere moments.” Blood trickles out of his nose, and he inhales a weak breath.
“I forgive you.” I smile and squeeze his hand before releasing it and sliding off the bed. I have nothing else to offer him, but forgiveness is something I can give a man on his deathbed.
Tobias senses the end of our conversation and returns, wrapping his arm around my waist. I rest my head against his chest as he stands and watches his father. It only took a few moments before he took his final breath, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Goodbye, Father.” He whispers. I place a soft and gentle kiss on Tobias’s cheek as he watches Master Pakin close the king’s eyes. As he closes the eyes of one of the only people who could shed some light on my childhood.
“Long live the King.” He chants as he drapes a clean cloth over his face, covering the once feared and beloved king. Someone who had unlimited power, riches, and support, reduced to a sickened man with no one on his deathbed.
Is this my future? Tobias’s future?
What will my life be like when my time comes?
“Long live the King.” I whisper.
Chapter Twenty-One
I glance back at the doorway, but Theo is gone. Tobias pulls out of my grip and walks over to Master Pakin, where they speak in hushed tones. I slowly sneak away until I am able to walk out of the room. Theo is leaning against the wall, his face is filled with anger, his hands balled up into fists. I almost don’t want to approach him, but I feel as if he has no one. No one to check on him, no one to comfort him.
“Theo, I am so sorry about your father.” I whisper, keeping my distance. He looks over at me and scoffs, running his hands through his hair and ripping out the leather cord tying half of it back.
“My father was a horrible parent; he will not be missed by me.” His voice is sharp and cruel. His eyes fixate on mine, but they remain hardened. A once kind and playful man is replaced with hostility, hurt.
“It’s alright to be angry, Theo. Any emotion you feel after you lose a parent is justified.” I try to reassure him, but my words fail me. He ignores me and just stares deep into my eyes.
“You are going to be queen.” He says flatly before turning away from me. His eyes flit up and down the hallway, looking for something.
“Yes, I am.” I respond, not knowing where he is going with this. He sighs and throws his head back against the wall. We are quiet for a moment before he kicks off the stone and faces me.
“I am leaving. Without my father here I have no obligations and I sure as hell am not going to listen to mybrother.”
“Theo, you can’t leave. This is your home.” I shake my head.
“Walls do not make a home, Nora. You know that better than anyone.” I hate the way his voice sounds when he says my name, as if it’s a proclamation of love. His eyes find mine again and they soften when they see my sorrow. The blue is deepening, darkening, like the ocean during a thunderstorm. I can’t shake the electricity that warms my blood as he stares at me. I dig my nails into my palms to keep from doing something stupid. I just want to touch his cheek, see if his skin is as soft as I imagine it is.
“Where are you going to go?” I ask, my voice quiet.
“I don’t know. Maybe Tatus, somewhere far away. I can’t stay here and watch you marry him. Watch you be with him.” His voice cracks and he quickly clears his throat. He looks around the hallway again to see if there are any prying eyes before he fixates on mine.
“Theo, you can’t feel that way.” I whisper, breaking eye contact. I back away towards the door, trying to find a quick exit. “I should go.”
