Page 52 of Glass and Bone
When we finally get to our room, Laris and Tano are standing at their post. With a quick nod from Tobias, the door opens, and he softly pushes me through the doorway. The room looks exactly the same as it has every other time I’ve entered it, but it feels different. Final. This isourroom now. Not just a room we inhibited as individuals, but the room of a married couple.Married.
I turn back towards Tobias, and he opens his arms. I step into his embrace as he pulls me against him. His nose nuzzles into my hair as he tightens his grip, inhaling. We stand here for just a moment before he pulls back and looks at me.
“Tomorrow, after the ceremony, we’ll move into the king’s chambers.” I nod, but don’t return his gaze. “My father’s things will be removed, and we can decorate it however you’d like. It’ll be ours.” I look up at him through my eyelashes and sigh. This has been one of the most overwhelming days of my life, and it’s not even over yet.
“Tobias, I know consummation is required, but does it have to be tonight?” He brushes my cheek with his fingertips, and I feel the light sting where he hit me. “After your father, and everything that’s happened, I don’t want to rush into it if it doesn’t feel right.” I try to explain, but the look in his eyes lets me know he understands.
“No, it can be whenever you’re ready. You can initiate it.” I lean into his palm, and he pulls me back against him.
“Did you mean it, when you said you were mine and mine alone?” He doesn’t answer right away.
“Ela, of course.” He leans back and I look up at him. If I didn’t know any better, I would say he was giving me a look filled with love, admiration. A look I’ve seen in Theo, in my mother. I find myself believing him. Believing that he wants to love me, and that's enough. That’s enough for me. That’s all I need. For right now. How pathetic. “I promise.” I rise up on my toes and press my lips to his.
“Say it.” I mimic as my lips brush against his chin.
“I promise.” He whispers again and I wrap my arms around his neck. “I promise.” He repeats as he lifts me up so that I wrap my legs around his waist. I can feel him walking me backwards and then slowly lower me onto the bed. His lips leave mine as they trail down my neck and my arms. “I promise. I am so sorry.”
“Shh.” I whisper and let my lips brush his while I speak. “It’s okay.” Those words were meant for him, but somehow also for me. This is okay. Having sex with my husband is okay.This is okay.
“Ela, you just said-”
“Don’t.” I whisper, a silent agreement to this. To us. His hands hungrily caress my body as his lips press against mine. He scoots me farther onto the bed, situating himself on top of me.
“I’ll go slow.” He pulls back and looks at me and I nod. His hands pull up my dress until I’m exposed. His eyes never leave mine as his pants slide down. I reach up for his face and he brings it back down to me. He kneels in between my legs, softly sliding them apart with his own. His lips find mine again, but his eyes remain open. “This might hurt.” He whispers and I close my eyes.
He shifts slightly and then I feel as he slowly enters me. The pain is dull, but present. I can feel myself stretching as he goes deeper and deeper. He stills once he’s in all the way. He presses his lips to my temples, and he holds me as he begins to move. I tighten my arms around his neck as he picks up speed. I can feel the sweat beading on his back. I take short, deep inhales as I try to relax. As I try to tell myself this is okay. His breathing is getting ragged, but he doesn’t stop. I feel a warmth spreading between my legs and I gasp.
“Are you okay?” He stops and pulls back, his face searching mine for any sense of pain.
“Yes.” I respond with labored breathing. “I’m just adjusting.” He nods and slowly moves again.
The warmth returns and I close my eyes, embracing it. It feels different. Stronger, more powerful than what we’d done so far. I arch my back, pressing myself against his chest, wanting to be as close to him as possible. He groans in my ear as he drops his head to my shoulder.
His arms slide underneath my back, pulling me tightly against him. I can feel his teeth as they lightly bite down on my shoulder. The warmth is turning into pressure and growing stronger every second, spreading throughout my core. I moan slightly and he responds with a faster pace. I can feel a release building within me, masking the pain and discomfort. My breathing is labored, erratic, as I try to relax into it. Into him.
“Elaenor.” He moans as he thrust into me one last time and then stills. I freeze as I feel his muscles twitch on top of me. The sweat dripping down his collarbone onto my cheek. I keep my eyes closed as I feel the delicious warmth slipping away, taking the pressure with it. Taking my release.
When I open my eyes, he’s leaning over me, his eyes open, waiting. “Hi.” He smiles nervously, as my eyes meet his. I fight the urge to frown. The delicious heat is gone, leaving me cold and wanting.
“Hi.” I whisper back. He pulls one of his arms out from underneath me so he can brush a loose curl off my face. His fingers are soft, light, as he traces my jaw.
“Was that okay?” I nod, worry fading from his eyes. I’m not about to tell him I didn’t finish, not after this morning and everything that happened with Theo earlier. But that wasn’t what I expected. I knew what happened in the woods was not how it should be, but this is still remarkably tame compared to what I always imagined. “I’m going to stay here for a few more moments, I just want to give us the best chance.”
“At conceiving a child?” My voice is quiet, nothing more than a squeak. I knew a child was the ultimate goal, but the fact that I could be getting pregnant right now is surprising.
“Of course.” I bite my lip and look away. “You said this was okay?” He’s worried.
“Yes, it was fine. I didn’t want to when we first came in here, but it felt right.” I admit. I was scared, but after he promised. After he pledged himself to me. It felt right. It felt like it was the moment, but getting pregnant is not what I wanted out of this first night. “Tobias, about a child–”
“Hey, it’s okay. If it doesn’t happen now, it’ll happen eventually.” He leans down and kisses my nose, silencing me. “This will be good for us.”
“Did you mean it?”
“Yes, every word.”
“You didn’t just say it to get me in bed?” He laughs.
“No, I did not lie to you to get you in bed. I’ll save that for the whores.” I scoff, but he just laughs even harder. “I’m kidding. I promised you I would be yours.” I don’t answer, so he bends down and kisses me again. When he sits up, he slowly lifts his legs so that he slides out of me. I moan slightly as the pressure leaves, and he smiles. “That’s a nice sound.” I close my eyes and attempt to laugh, but the exhaustion is creeping up on me. I feel his lips press to my shoulders as he lifts me up. “Roll over.”
