Page 16 of Cages and Crowns
“I want you to have lunch with him tomorrow. It’ll be here in our chambers, and Davel will keep watch. I just want you to feel him out.” He looksover at me. “You can do that, right? You aren’t going to cause any issues?” I shake my head, excitement bubbling inside. He’s going to actually leave me alone with someone other than his guards or my ladies. He leans over and cups my cheek again. “You are different today, more behaved.” I don’t respond, I just keep my gaze fixed on his. “I like it.” He leans forward and presses his lips softly to mine. He forces them to part with his tongue, and I allow it.
I glance nervously behind him; Laris has turned and thankfully Davel is gone. Tobias pushes me onto my back, and I fight the wince as my unhealed wounds stretch. I open for him, knowing that if I allow him access without hesitation, there would be no need to punish me.
One of his hands reaches up to cradle my head while the other settles in between my legs. I can feel my dress being pulled up and hear the rustle of his pants they are pulled down. I don’t move. His hand finds my bare waist, ripping through the lacy undergarments. I don’t have a second to prepare myself before he thrusts into me with one push of his hips. I clench my eyes shut, trying to force myself to enjoy the feeling. He’s quick, panting in my ear and pressing kisses down the side of my throat. His teeth graze my neck before he bites down, and I gasp. My body jerks and he groans at the movement.
“I want you to come for me, my love.” I fake a moan and wrap my arms around his neck as he brings his mouth back to mine. I lift my hips in tune to his, begging for any form of pleasure, but it doesn’t come. Not even a little bit. He shudders above me and I feign a release at the same time as him. He’s breathing heavy, his body pressed up against mine. “My Ela.” He whispers as his nose nuzzles into my neck. I force my eyes open, a single tear finding a way to escape my iron resolve.
I don’t cry. I don’t beg. I let it happen. I let every moment happen without any emotions attached. That’s the way it has to be. He pulls out of me with another moan and sits back, pulling my dress back down.
“Laris, you are free to leave.” His eyes are sharp, narrowed, as he meets my gaze.No. My eyes widen, and I sit up. I didn’t do anything wrong. He can’tpunish me. My pulse skips and my breathing grows ragged as the shadows seem to pull from the walls and surround us.
I didn’t do anything wrong.
“Tobias?”I squeak, my voice strained.
“Yes, Your Grace.” The door softly shuts behind him and Tobias rises with a sigh.
“Do you think I am stupid?” I shake my head, my mouth opening and closing in confusion.
“I don’t understand.” I whisper.
“Get up.” I rise, shakily and his hand whips out, slapping me. He grabs my shoulders before I can fall over, keeping me upright. “I am not an idiot. I know what it sounds like when you come, Ela.”My hand flies to my cheek as I shake my head.
“Tobias–” He slides his hands down to my arms before dragging me to the bed.
“Shut up!” He throws me onto the mattress, and I quickly stand back up. His hand whips out again and I taste the blood in my mouth this time. I fall onto my stomach, my heart pounding. My breath is nothing more than short rasps. I hear my corset rip and then the feel of the icy spring air on my bare back. I bite my lip as he drags me back to the edge of the bed, my legs hanging off.
His stomach presses into my back, his mouth next to my ear.
“I want tohearyou, Elaenor. I want to feel you. Iknowyou love me. I know you love when I touch you.” His hand slides down my back before settling in between my thighs. His pointer finger gently brushes my clit and my tortuous body jerks. I bury my face in the bed, willing my body to not respond. To not enjoy his touch. He presses down harder, and a small whimper escapes my lips.I bite my lower lip, fighting against the growing heat pooling low in my core.
“That’s it, Ela.” He whispers, his lips pressing into my shoulder blade. His finger slides down before slowly entering me. He pulls back out and adds a second finger, causing my body to shake with anticipation. I know he can feel it,the gathering heat, the wetness. He pumps inside of me and my back arches against him.
Tears spring from my eyes and I fist the bedsheets. I hate this. I hate him. I hate myself. I hate that I find even an ounce of pleasure in his touch, in this. My legs are shaking, my core pulsing with each thrust of his fingers. Delicious heat curls low in my abdomen and I shudder again.
“Gods.” My moan is muffled as I press my face harder into the bed. Tobias sits up, his fingers slipping out of me before his cock replaces them. His hand snakes around, torturously pushing on my clit as his hips slam into my backside.
I cry out at the feeling, at the pressure brewing deep inside me. His hand finds my back, his fingers splayed out as he fucks me. As I let him.
As Ilikeit.
I don’t fake it this time. My toes curl and I start to shake before a loud cry escapes my lips and I erupt around him. He comes right after me, his shout echoing throughout the room. Our matched breathing is ragged, gasping as we come down. He doesn’t slide out as he lays down on top of me.
“That’s what I wanted, my love. Was that so hard?” I shake my head, the bed soaking up the tears I shed before he can see them. He pulls out of me, and I sit up, my legs unsteady. My ripped dress falls down around me, leaving me bare. I can feel a combination of my arousal, and his seed dripping down my thighs. I step out of the heels I was still wearing and walk towards the dressing room.
I keep my bottom lip firmly planted in between my teeth as I clean myself up and dress in leggings and a tunic.
If you don’t let yourself feel, if you don’t let yourself care, none of this will matter. You will survive.A voice, one that seems so similar to a person I know I’ll never see again, echoes through my head. I almost want to agree, say that I understand. But I don’t.
I don’t know if I want to survive.
When I exit the dressing room, Tobias is lounging on the bed, his anklescrossed and a lazy smile on his face.
“Come here.” He holds his arm out for me, and I hesitantly join him, nestling into the crook of his arm. I inhale the scent of cedar and smoke, a scent I will never forget. A scent I hate and crave at the same time. A scent that terrifies and calms me simultaneously. His arm tightens around me and I blink back the tears in my eyes.
I hate what happened. I was scared he was going to hurt me. I thought that was why he sent Laris away, but he didn’t. He wanted me to find release. He slapped me. He was rough, but he was doing it forme. At least I think he was.
What is wrong with me?
