Page 16 of Caught in a Bad Fauxmance
I nod slowly and let Julian lead the way. We only go a few feet deeper into the woods, out of view of our houses. I map out an escape route along the way in case Julian tries to attack. I may even throw in a kick to the balls. Y’know, just to be safe.
Julian trails off to grab his sneakers while I lean up against a nearby tree. I reach into my pocket, breathing a sigh of relief when my fingers close around my keys. I do have a weapon.
“Explain,” I demand once Julian has put his shoes backon.
“It’s…kind of a long story,” he mumbles, swiping at the dirt on his sole.
“Well, then get started, because the clock’s ticking.” I tap my imaginary watch.
Julian glares at me. He takes a deep breath, linking his fingers calmly. “I…have this ex-boyfriend…”
“Okay,” I reply slowly. “And?”
He runs a hand through his hair, his bangs sticking up in a tuft that should look ridiculous but is somehow effortlessly cool. “He lives on the other side of the lake. Moved there two years ago. We were together for a hot second last summer, which was averystupid move on my part.” He pauses to roll his eyes, and I keep any insults to myself. “He’s been blowing up my phone since the second we got here. Apparently ‘no’ wasn’t enough to convince him I’m not interested in getting back together. But he kept pushing until I panicked and said I was seeing someone new, and now he’sasking to meet him, so…” He throws his hands up into the air. “Here we are.”
I gave Julian too much credit. He’s an absolute dumbass if he thinks I’m going to believe any of that. “Nope,” I reply, popping thepfor emphasis. “Not interested. Bye.”
I start marching back toward my cabin, but Julian follows me like a lost puppy. “C’mon, please? I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t desperate.”
“If you’re so desperate, find someone else to play your fake lover.”
“Ican’tfind anyone else, that’s the point.”
Julian goes to reach for my arm again, but I hold my fingerup in warning. “Touch me again and you’re losing a finger.”
He holds his arms up beside his head. “Listen, if I could find literally anybody else, I would. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t exactly have many options for fake boyfriends around here.” He gestures toward the abandoned cabin to our left. The mushroom has started growing fur.
I rack my brain for any other potential fake boyfriends. I would offer up Andy as a sacrifice, but he’s obnoxiously heterosexual. “What about the family that owns the souvenir shop? The Martinezes? They have two kids.”
Julian gives me a deadpan look. “One is seven and the other is in his twenties.”
“Perfect, if the older one’s loaded, maybe you can get a sugar daddy situation out of it.” I pause, tapping my chin in thought. “Actually, that would look fishy. You’re too loaded for a sugar daddy.”
“Ha ha,” he replies dryly. “Comeon.It’s a one-time thing,I swear. His dad’s hosting a mixer at the Hillsdale Country Club tomorrow. All we’d have to do is say hi, eat the free food, and then you never have to see him, or stand within five feet of me again.”
I’m not what many would call cunning, but that sounds like a pretty half-assed plan to me. “And what’s in it for me?” I ask out of curiosity. “Besides free food.”
He shrugs. “You’d be helping me.”
Wow, what a compelling argument. He nearly had me there for a second. “You don’t deserve my help.”
Before I know it, he’s in front of me again, beads of sweat trickling down his forehead. “Please, Devin. I—”
A shadow washes over him, his hands beginning to tremble when Maya presses the barrel of her water gun against the small of his back.
“Hands up,” she orders into his ear. Julian quickly obliges, tremoring at the sound of her voice. Any confidence he had left has been stripped away by a girl who is five-one and armed with a super soaker.
Maya steps in front of him, standing firmly between the two of us. She keeps her weapon aimed square at his chest, nodding her head toward the Seo-Cookes’ half of the yard. “If you ever try to corner one of us like that again, I’m unloading on your ass. Now go.”
He hesitates for half a second, hands still shaking as he lowers them back down.
“I said go!”
Julian bolts so quickly he trips over himself, his sneakers slapping wetly against the dew-slick grass. Watching him scramble to get up is worth the brief panic of being alonewith him. The sight sends me into another laughing fit, tears brimming in the corner of my eyes.
“I needed that.” I wipe the backs of my hands across my eyes. “Thanks for bailing me out. I thought he was…”
I trail off when I notice Maya’s wicked smile. Her eyes are trained on the Seo-Cookes’ back door, her fingers so tight around the water gun her knuckles go pale. She turns to face me, her smile evolving into a Cheshire cat grin. The fire in her eyes makes my heart race and my forehead uncomfortably clammy.
