Page 62 of Suddenly Dating
“Yes. The whole evening was insane.”
She wondered what parts he was referring to, and stuffed two more grapes into her mouth. “Thank you,” she said with her mouth full.
One of his brows rose above the other. “For...?”
Lola swallowed. “For helping me. For being there when I couldn’t find my tongue. And for agreeing to go to dinner next week. I would never have said yes if you hadn’t.” Apparently, standing up for herself and seizing opportunities was going to require a lot of work.
Harry smiled. “I figured that out. I’ve never seen anyone quite as starstruck.”
Lola reached for another grape, but Harry caught her hand and held it. For a brief second, she thought he was concerned with how many grapes she was eating. But instead, he turned her hand over, and lifted it up to kiss her palm. “I had a good time,” he said. “Really good. You?”
God, he waskillingher. Something that felt strong and magnetic was flowing between them, and frankly, Lola didn’t know what to do with it. Part of her wanted to leap headlong into it; part of her wanted to retreat and protect her heart from expanding too far beyond its borders.
Harry kissed her wrist. “You won’t change your mind about your roommate benefits?”
His gaze was smoldering. Lola had a strange sensation when he looked at her like that, almost as if she were swimming in deep water, her head only barely above the surface. She shook her head. She wanted to suggest it was a bad idea. What if he didn’t like her in bed? She would still be here tomorrow. She wanted to analyze the offer and ask whatfriends with benefitsreally meant, what happened tomorrow, and the day after that...
Harry chuckled softly, squeezed her hand, and let it go. “Just my luck,” he said. “My sexy roommate is locked up like Fort Knox. All right, go to bed,” he said. He tapped his knuckles against the bar and turned, swiping up his coat on the way back to his room.
What had just happened?Jesus Lola, you blew it before anything happened.“Good night!” she called to him.
From down the hallway, she heard, “Good night, you little lunatic.” And then she heard his door close.
Lost in thought about her incredible knack for blowing great chances—two in one night!—Lola absently ate more grapes until she realized what she was doing, and put the plate away. She walked to the picture windows and looked out at the moon again, then absently made her way to the couch and sank down, kicked off her shoes, and propped her feet on the big leather ottoman, leaning back into the cushions. She closed her eyes, folded her arms over her middle.
All she could see in her mind’s eye was Harry. She could imagine him taking off his clothes, getting ready for bed. She could still feel his mouth on the skin of her wrist.What was the matter with her? What red-blooded woman turned down an offer like that?
This was exactly the sort of opportunity Casey would challenge her to take. Why not? Lola hadn’t had sex in forever—so long that sometimes she believed she might truly die without ever having sex again. She liked Harry—reallyliked him—so what was holding her back?
She was afraid of being hurt again, of being rejected.Aha, so there it was... an unconscious thought that had turned into an ugly blob of truth, tossed out of her subconscious and onto her lap. She was afraid of any sort of relationship for that matter, for fear of another mortal wound to her heart. That fear went even deeper with the whole friends-with-benefits idea. She understood theidea—a casual, no strings attached hookup—but she didn’t understand the emotions of it. Sex with men had never been so simple for her. With sex came feelings. How was she supposed to turn that off? How was she to hide them when he wanted only a friendly encounter?
You have to get over yourself,came one of her thoughts, uttered in the voice of a very persuasive and very smug younger sister.Are you going to die with cobwebs in your va-jay-jay?
God, Casey was right, even in absentia. Lola was thirty-one and divorced. It wasn’t as if she was meeting a lot of single men. Her opportunities for good old-fashioned, wall-banging copulation were not great. For all the drama in her head over men and betrayals and feelings she didn’t want to face or experience, there was another, awfully persistent thought pushing in right alongside:Do me, Handsome Harry. Do me in the shower, on the bed, in the kitchen, in the back seat of the car.
It was that voice, fueled by a little alcohol and a lot of libido, that won out over all the other Nervous Nellie thoughts in her head.“Okay, all right, Casey. You win,” Lola whispered. She slowly stood up. She smoothed her hair down and adjusted her dress. She started walking toward Harry’s room... but then abruptly changed course, darted back to the kitchen, and uncorked an open bottle of wine. She took a sip of liquid courage, corked it up, washed her hands and her mouth, smoothed her dress once more—
“For God’s sake, I’ll die first at this rate,” she chastised herself.
She breathed in, breathed out, squared her shoulders, and walked down the hall to Harry’s door.
There was no light peeking out from beneath his door, and Lola couldn’t hear anything inside when she rudely pressed her ear to the door. She tapped lightly. Nothing.
Normally, this would be the point Lola would scurry like a mouse back to her room. But the new Lola, the Lola who was going to be a writer and live life to the fullest, was going to go for it. She turned the handle of the door and cracked it open.
Nothing! Not a sound, not a light. She slipped inside and stood beside the door. She could see Harry in his bed now, his body illuminated by moonlight coming in through his open window. He was asleep, lying on his back with one arm slung over his eyes, and bare-chested.
A heart-pounding sight, that.
Lola loudly cleared her throat.
Harry suddenly shot up and blinked at the door. “What’s wrong?” he asked, and moved as if he meant to get out of bed.
“No, no, don’t get up,” she said, waving both hands at him.
“What’s happening?” he asked, rightly confused.
Lola drew a deep breath. “You were right.”
