Page 81 of Hard-Hearted Highlander
She looked at him sharply. “What of Seona?”
The words startled him. “She’s gone,” he said. “You said I should no’ live in the past. And this,” he said, pointing to her, “is no’ the same as that was, Bernadette. You are a verra different woman and I am a different man than I was then. I’ve fallen in love with you,mo chridhe.”
Her eyes filled with myriad emotions. Shock and tenderness, and something else, something that made him think of fear. She looked as if she wanted to speak, but then pressed her lips together as she dipped down to pick up the last of her clothing. She dropped the plaid and quickly began to dress.
Rabbie watched her, uncertain as to what was happening between them. What had he misunderstood? Had he been the only one in that bed? “What is the matter?” he asked, a little frantic himself now.
“Everything!” She tossed his pantaloons at him. “You can’t say those things to me,” she said, her voice rough with emotion. “Your engagement to Avaline has just ended in the most spectacular fashion—”
“What has that to do with it?” he asked with frustration as he thrust one leg and then the other into his pantaloons.
“I am her friend!” she cried.
“Och,”he said, and grabbed up his shirt. “You are no’ her friend, Bernadette. You are her servant—”
“And her friend! Do you see? There is a so much you don’tunderstand,so much you don’t know,” she said, and caught what sounded like a sob in her throat as she fumbled with the fastenings of her stomacher.
Rabbie reached out to help her. She tried to move away but he clucked his tongue at her and did up the last hooks of her stomacher. She donned her gown as quickly as she could, tears slipping down her cheeks. He reached for her again, but she said, “Don’t. Please, I beg of you, don’t.” She turned away from him.
He stood helplessly, trying to comprehend what was happening. “What is it,leannan?” he begged her.“What has you in tears?”
“I have to leave,” she said shortly. Her voice sounded as if she was determined to go, but her eyes, when she looked back at him... Her eyes said differently.
He strode forward and wrapped his arms around her in a strong embrace. She tried to resist it at first, but when he wouldn’t let go of her, she sagged against him and began to cry. Fat tears that wet his chest. “Ah,mo chridhe,what has you wrought?” he asked, cupping her head, resting his chin lightly on top of her head as he held her. “I’ll no’ have you so sad, aye? Tell me.”
She shook her head and slowly lifted her head, leaning back from him. “I can’t... I’m wrong for you, Rabbie. I wish I was the one, you’ve no idea how I wish it. But I’m wrong for you—you need a Scots woman.”
“I needyou,” he argued.
More tears fell. She put her hands up between them, placed them against his bare chest, then pushed against him. Hard. His arms fell away from her, and she stepped back. She picked up her boots and clutched them to her chest like a shield. “No one brought you back but you. I’m sorry, I am truly so very sorry, but I am leaving for England when arrangements have been made for Killeaven, and there is nothing you can stay that will dissuade me from it.”
The words she spoke were harsh to his ears, but they did not match the tears sliding down her cheeks.
“No,” he said, and he meant it. She would not leave for England. He didn’t know how he’d prevent it, but he would. His heart began to pound in his chest with trepidation. He couldn’t allow this to happen. Not now, not after he’d found something to live for.
But as he moved to reach for her again, Bernadette shook her head and fled the room, and he could hear the slap of her bare feet on the stone floor as she hurried down the corridor. A moment later, he heard the front door shut.
Rabbie stood precisely where she’d left him, utterly stunned. He didn’t understand what had happened. He was wounded, he was angry...but more than anything else, he didn’t believe her. He’d seen the way she’d looked at him, had felt the way she’d responded to him, and he didn’t believe there was nothing that could change her mind.
Aye, but he was angry with her at the moment. He didn’t know what held her back—was it her child? He’d not thought of it until this moment, but if that was what had made her refuse him, he’d go and fetch the bairn himself. If he had to fight for her and what existed between them, so be it, he would, without hesitation.
Hewouldfight for her, too. He’d been robbed of the opportunity to fight for a woman he’d once cared for and he’d not be robbed again. He’d notloseagain.
But he had to unearth the reason for her trouble and change her mind.
* * *
RABBIENUMBLYWANDEREDabout Arrandale, wanting an occupation, his mind racing, his thoughts so scattered that he couldn’t seem to concentrate on any one task. He was confused by what had happened—how could a woman make love as she had then turn so coldly against him? It made him heartsick with doubt. His thoughts had begun to turn dark, and he was relieved when he heard riders on the lawn, relieved to have a diversion.
He walked outside and found Cailean, Daisy and Ellis coming down from their mounts.
Cailean glanced at Rabbie’s plaid. “Do you want them to hang you, lad?” he asked jovially.
“I donna care if they do,” Rabbie said with a shrug. “What brings you to Arrandale?”
“We’ve come to see after your welfare, darling,” Daisy said, and rose up on her toes to kiss his cheek.
“My welfare,” Rabbie repeated. He didn’t think it was wise to mention that it had been shattered this morning by the tears of aSassenach.
