Page 103 of Digging Up Love
“Not like I’m indispensable. He’ll find someone else to take over. Maybe Hank.”
“Hank? He’s older than Pops, for gosh sakes!” Her sister pushed the heel of her hand up under her nose. Sniffed hard.
“Sim, it’ll be all right. I won’t leave until it’s all taken care of.” Shocked to see tears in Simone’s eyes, Alisha felt her heart shattering, and the shards pierced her chest. Simonenevercried, the one trait they shared. “Oh, Simi. C’mere.” She crossed the room and wrapped Simone’s willowy frame in a hug.
But her sister broke the embrace and wiped a hand carelessly under her dripping nose. “Get off me.”
“Sim, I get that you’re upset.”
“Upset? Yeah, I’m upset! You’ve had everything handed to you your whole life, and you’re just going to throw it all away?”
Flinching at the slice of her sister’s words, Alisha tamped down the urge to spin and walk out the door. Flee confrontation. But she couldn’t take back her words, and suddenly she didn’t want to. She wanted to see this through, to show Simone how much she needed a fresh start.
“You were set. A stake in the family business. Ahome.” Simone’s voice broke on the last word. “And you’re giving it all up? Why?”
Forget running away. The nerve of her entitled baby sister, callingherout?
“What do you mean, ‘Everything handed to me’? I put all my dreams aside for you! I moved back home to take care of Granny so you could focus on school. I became Grandpa’s right hand so you wouldn’t have to.” She leaned toward Simone, close enough to see the gold-dust flecks in her eyes swimming in tears, no longer moved by the demonstration. “You’re the one who’s had everything handed to you,sis. A life in the city and a career on your own terms!”
“My own terms? Myown terms?” Simone jabbed Alisha’s chest, and Alisha wanted to wrench her finger off. “You think I wanted to leave my friends and family? Sell my horse? Move hundreds of miles away from the only home I knew? You muscled me out.”
“Iwhat?” Too shocked to process the information, Alisha gaped at her sister.
“While you were off at college, who do you think stepped up? Me! I’m the one who turned down extracurriculars and hanging out with my friends so I could put in more hours at Honey and Hickory. And I was the oneright thereafter Granny’s diagnosis, taking care of her, holdin’ it down. Until you rode in on your white horse like some kind of self-styled savior.”
Tears streamed down Simone’s face now, and she choked on her snot. “And after all that, after allI’ddone, you waltzed back home for Christmas, and Pops handed it all over to you, like I was nothing.”
Alisha pressed a hand to the stool, steadying herself. “But you wanted out. You said at your graduation you couldn’t stand to be in Hawksburg anymore.”
“And you said you loved it there.” Simone grabbed a roll of paper towels off the counter, tore one off, and mopped her face. “Clearly we’re a pair of liars.”
Hand clutched to her roiling stomach, Alisha shook her head in horror. “Land sakes alive, Simone.”
Tossing the wadded-up paper towel onto the coffee table, Simone dragged her palms hard against her cheek, the underside of her eyesshowing. “But I’m happy for you. Wish I would’ve known years ago, but you’ve got what you wanted. We Blake girls always land on our feet, right? No matter what comes our way.”
Alisha opened her mouth to reply, but the words wouldn’t come. Briny tears dripped onto her lips, and she wiped them away with a trembling hand. All these years of disappointment heaped and piled into mountains of pain. All the unbearable, bone-deep heartache. For nothing.
For worse than nothing. To cause her sister pain.
“Simone.” On numb legs, she walked over and sank down on the couch, wrung out. “I had no idea. If only I would’ve known.” A sudden hiccupping laugh seized her, and she clutched her chest.
Through a veil of tears, she saw Simone recoil. “This funny to you?”
“No, Sim.” She waved a hand and gulped air. “It’s not funny. It’s sad. It’s awful. I feel sick.”
“Glad I have your pity.” Simone crossed her arms. “That’s not what I wanted. I’ve never needed or wanted your compassion.”
Pressing the heel of her hand to the corner of one eye, then the other, Alisha said, “That’s not what I meant, Sim. I don’t pity you. I just hate the whole situation. And it’s soepicallystupid, because I never even wanted it. All these years I kept my mouth shut because I’m the oldest, and when Granny needed me most, I wasn’t there. And then I knew, I justknew, you were going to get roped into Honey and Hickory. Already had been, while I was off gallivanting at college. I stole almost four years from you, and I couldn’t forgive myself. Especially since I’m the reason you lost Dad.”
“Hold on, sis. You thinkyou’rethe reason Dad left?” Her sister collapsed next to her on the sofa like her legs wouldn’t hold her any longer, and Alisha saw the five-year-old girl who’d lost her mother.
“I was so sad. So needy. Always asking him for things, pestering him. If only I could’ve kept it together, we might still be a family.” Alisha started sobbing again and gestured jerkily to herself. “I’m sure itdidn’t help that I look j-j-just like Momma. He couldn’t handle it. He couldn’t handleme. And so you lost out on him too.”
Her sister flew across the cushions like a streak of lightning and squeezed her in a tight hug before she could finish. “I always knew you were crazy.” Simone pulled away and cupped Alisha’s cheeks. “You think our father left because you were too much to handle?” Through fresh tears, Alisha nodded, bringing her sister’s hands along with her.
“You were a child, Alisha. A child who’d just lost her mom.” Simone’s forehead crumpled. “You weren’t supposed to be a rock. Heck, neither was he. He just needed to be there. But he wasn’t.” Simone searched her face. “You are not the reason that man left. Our deadbeat, no-good, worthless father left because he was too cowardly to raise two young women on his own.”
Alisha turned away, but Simone grabbed her damp chin and dragged her back. “Do you hear me? You were just a kid, Ali. And if you’d been a grown woman, it wouldn’t have made a bit of difference. Him leaving us was not your fault, or mine. Got it?” Alisha dodged her eyes to the side, and Simone pinched her chin. “I said, you hear me?”
