Page 93 of Digging Up Love
“Do you? Because I wouldnever.” Her voice trembled. “I’d rather not go at all than leave my grandparents in a lurch.”
“I know, and that worries me too.” Quentin stepped under the barbell until he stood inches from her. She steeled herself to not back down. “You’d rather stay miserable than open up about your dreams.”
He was so near she had to tilt back her head to meet his eyes. “Why even come in here to have this conversation if everything I do scares you?”
“Because you’re important to me, Alisha. You matter. And it’s worth it to talk about the hard stuff, even if opening up might hurt.”
“Doesn’t seem to be hurting you.” She crossed her arms, regretting it when her forearms brushed against his solid abs.
“Stop trying to push me away.” He brought up his arms to touch her, then dropped them by his sides, exhaling with a growl like a caged panther. “Every time I dredge up these feelings over what happened with my wedding, all I feel is pain. I don’t want to repeat the same mistakes. But one of those mistakes was not talking to my ex when I was scared of what her answer might be. Pushing doubts under the rug. I know you and I are just starting out, but I want us to have a chance.”
A chance.
A hope.
A future?The word bounced off the walls she’d built like the wallop of a sledgehammer, and she bunched her fists, wishing for the rigid steel of a barbell to anchor her. Shore up her resistance. But Quentin’s eyes bore into hers, and the crack in her defenses widened.
“I care about you, Alisha. Way more than casual. But if you don’t feel the same way ...”
Doubt gathered in her chest, marshaling for a rebuttal. She inhaled, forcing herself to hold his gaze, and she found the whispers of her own fears reflected in his eyes, but something else too. Something brave. Something daring. Could she rise to the challenge?
“And if I do?”
“If you do, then I’m kind of hoping ...” He cleared his throat. “I’mvery muchhoping we can give this a shot.”
“Even though we might crash and burn.” Her words landed heavy, a statement. But he answered the question, never wavering.
“Even then. You’re worth the risk.”
Worth the risk.Worthy.
Slowly, she unwound her arms, left her heart exposed. Then, like cannonballing into an ice-cold swimming pool, she threw herself forward and clasped him tight. In a heartbeat, he returned the hug, and she breathed out for the first time in days.
“Can we talk like this?” His damp T-shirt muffled her words.How does he still smell so delicious under all this grime and sweat?“It’s easier.”
His chest bounced under her cheek in a silent laugh. “Yeah, of course.”
She shifted, searching for words to match her feelings, the process like breaking in new shoes. “Seven whole years I’ve been in limbo, Quentin.” She swallowed to wash the rust down her throat. “I moved back to help my grandparents and ended up getting stuck in time. Turns out, my family doesn’t need me here anymore, yet here I am, scared to leave.” She breathed deep again, in and out, and he kneaded the knots in her back, staying silent.
The refuge of his arms brought out more words. “For years I haven’t let anyone get close to me besides my family and Meg. Then suddenly you come along. And I like you so much.” So much it scared the crap out of her. “I want to be with you; I want us to have a future. But I don’t know if I can let that happen.” She stopped talking and burrowed into his embrace.
“Let what happen?”
“You.”
His hands stilled, and she ached for them to start up again. “Then how about you don’t let it happen?” She drew away, a crease appearing on her forehead, but he pulled her back and rubbed two fingers down her spine. “Don’tletit happen.Makeit happen,” he said, his voice the rumble of thunder rolling in after a drought.
“What does that even mean?” She went to look up at him, and he loosened his grip, sliding his clasped hands to her lower back.
“Fate brought us together, but if you make the choice to stay with me, it won’t be happenstance. It will be your decision. Take back your power, Alisha.” He stepped away and gently disentangled himself from her arms.
“I’m right here.” He ducked under the racked barbell, stopping at the edge of the mat.
Longing pierced her chest, fierce and deep.
“If you want me, wantus, then come and get me. I want to work through things with you. I want to work throughlifewith you.” He paused, eyes burning into hers, not shying away. “What doyouwant?”
The distance between them left her bereft. What did she want?Him.Wanted him so badly her chest burned. The coals he’d ignited back in March craved fresh tinder. And she wanted a real bakery of her own, wanted to grow past the borders of this small town and break the chains of insecurity and doubt.
