Page 95 of Digging Up Love
“This was always how it was going to be.” She spoke toneless and flat, but he knew her well enough by now; the lack of expression was a shield.
“That’s not what you said yesterday!” Desperation charged his words, snapping like static between them. “Or last week. Or last month.”
“Forget yesterday!” His words ignited a spark in her. Good. If she cared enough to fight, he had a shot;theyhad a shot. “I was living in a fantasy world. I thought ...” Her strong shoulders slumped in defeat. “I thought they didn’t need me anymore. But they do. Grandpa needs me here, and I’m not going to let him down like my father did.”
“What about your own dreams?” Couldn’t she see how miserable she’d be living the shadow of a life? She was a burst of Technicolor in a sepia town. Pain for her seized his lungs, stole his breath. He choked out the words. “You’re lettingyourselfdown, Alisha.”
“Don’t.” She raised her voice and jabbed a finger toward him like a rapier, though it trembled. “Don’t youdare. You’re not sad I’m losing out onmydreams.” She glared at him and balled her fists for a fight. “You’re upset because I canceled your future again.”
Throwing her arms up, she let them fall with a hard snort of laughter. “Well. You want a future with me? Kids and a picket fence? Then quit your job. Move down here. Live in Hawksburg.”
He pressed his lips together so hard his jaw popped. He couldn’t do that. He’d worked too hard for his whole life to get where he was. Burned bridges with his family that were only just now getting rebuilt. If he gave up his career, it would’ve all been for nothing.
Alisha waited, her chin up like a boxer in the ring, eyes hooded. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”
“That’s not fair.”Why couldn’t she see?He didn’t want kids without her. He didn’t want a life without her. Everything about this tore him up inside.
To his surprise, her defiant posture evaporated, and she sank in on herself. “You’re right—it’snotfair of me to ask. You have a real future. A fulfilling career. I’d never want you to give it up for me.”
She pulled at the silver chain around her neck like she was fighting for air. “But, Quentin, you were wrong. I can’t change things. My future is here. It’s always been here. It’s time for me to stop daydreaming and get used to it. I’ll never be happy if I don’t.”
“Will you be happy here,ever?” A truck rattled down the road behind him, trailer hitch clanking, and its headlights cast a glare on Alisha’s face, her dry eyes. It wrecked him to see her shut down when he’d witnessed the depth of her hurt.
“I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you to come to Chicago. To give this ...” He swallowed thickly. “To give what’s between us a shot.” Her arms were stiff, pressed tight against her rib cage. Like a moth to flame, he reached out to cup her elbows, and she shivered at his touch.
“But I think it’s more than that.” He slid his palms up her rigid arms. Beneath his calloused fingers, her skin was smooth, her softness a balm to his tormented soul. “You’ve been hiding your true self for so long, Alisha. You tried to blend in in this small town and act like this restaurant is what you wanted.” His eyes bore into her face, willing her to lift her downcast eyes. “But you have a choice,” he said, pleading.
“You’re right—I do have a choice. But if I choose to leave, I’ll be just like my dad.” She thrust out her elbows and drove his hands away. “You accused me of fabricating excuses, but this is real.” She walked backward, the crunch of gravel grating in the stillness. “My grandpa passed his legacy on to me.” She thumped her chest, hard. “Do you want me to choose the coward’s way out? To run away and shirk my responsibilities?”
“Staying true to yourself isn’t cowardly,” he said. She’d reached the end of the alley, a lone light overhead casting her in a wan glow, darkened streets stretching behind her.
“You could never in a million years be like your father, Alisha. I’ve never seen anyone so devoted and loyal. Choosing not to run the family business doesn’t compare to walking out on your own kids! And what about your sister?”
Alisha’s eyes shot to his, wide in the moonlight. “What about her?”
“She’s living in the city, has her own life. Do you think she abandoned you? Do your grandparents think so?”
“No, she’s a grown woman. And she visits all the time.” Her eyes narrowed. “Don’t do that; it’s not the same. She’s my little sister. My responsibility.”
Quentin wanted to tear out his hair, but he willed himself still. “And your grandparents? The restaurant? It’s all your responsibility? You’re holding up everything on your own?” The black of night engulfed her like she was drowning in a well. Why wouldn’t she reach out for the rope to save herself?
“That’s not fair.”
His own words echoed back at him. The brutal irony hit him like a fist to the jaw: Alisha’s putting family first was the thing keeping them apart.
A bell clanged in his mind, signaling the end of the round. She had him on the ropes, but he threw one last hook, hoping to bring her back and stave off defeat. “Everything shouldn’t fall on your shoulders, Alisha. Whatever happens between us, I want you to know your happiness matters. And it matters to me.”
“Whatever happened between ushappened.” Her chest rose and fell beneath the white fabric of her dress. “But it’s over now.”
No, no, no.“Please don’t do this, Alisha. Give it some time.” He lifted a hand toward her, but his knees were locked. “Maybe in a year or two, you can sell this place and move to Chicago, make good on your dreams. I’ll wait for you.”
“No!” Like saying the word exhausted her, she stood gasping. Then she continued, quiet but firm. “No. I don’t want you to wait a year for me. I don’t want you to waste another moment on me.” She advanced toward him then, leaving the light behind, and shadows swallowed her face. “Go, please.”
He finally broke the inertia holding him in place and stepped closer, but she raised a hand to stop him.
“I’m not going to change my mind on this, Quentin. I amnevergoing to leave my family. You and I have no future. Now go, or I will.”
Quentin’s heart squeezed so hard inside him he couldn’t breathe. Tears pooled, but he bit them back and turned away toward the deserted street. “All right. I’m gone.”
