Page 6 of Second Tide's the Charm
Time that stretched into distance, pulling Adrian and I apart. Time he could spare. Uncertainty was what stretched our bond to the breaking point. I’d begun to question us, and before I found my answer, it was too late.
“I looked him up.” Zuri’s too-casual words tighten my shoulder blades. I should’ve known she wouldn’t let me ship off without due diligence.
My eyelids pinch shut. Yearning rises in my chest, and a question escapes on an errant exhale. “Married?”
“No.” The word is firm and solid. A paramedic’s tone to a patient in crisis. “At least, not from what I could tell. Doesn’t look like he’s got a girlfriend, either.”
My heart begins to beat again. Married would’ve made things simpler.
Married would’ve torn me in two.
A moment to breathe through the averted panic, then I open my eyes. “In that case, don’t tell me.” I’m on a need-to-know basis with all things Adrian. And right now all I need to know is he and Marissa are giving me a chance to work with sharks again.
“What if he’s a murderer?” Zuri isn’t letting it go.
“Then he’d be in jail.” I pause. “Or really sneaky.”
“Hope!”
I shrug. Adrian’s most definitely not a murderer.
“What if he owns a Michelin-starred restaurant?” she asks.
“They’re giving out stars for microwaved PB&J?”
“Who does that?”
“Adrian.” Or at least he did. Now maybe he eats them room temp, like a normal person. The thought sends a pang of nostalgia through me. I don’t know him best of anyone, not anymore.
“You really don’t want to know?” Zuri’s question echoes my thoughts. Of course I do. I’ve played this guessing game a thousand times with myself. “The No-Adrian Rule is no longer in effect now that you’re going to be working with him.”
“The No-Adrian Rule is more crucial than ever.” I came up with the rule a few months after I quit social media. Zuri wanted to show me one of his posts, but I knew I couldn’t see him and not want him. And I needed to stop wanting him. So I enacted the No-Adrian Rule.
I don’t discuss Adrian, google him, or ever, under any circumstances, check up on his social media. No creeping on his Instagram. No lurking on his Twitter—not like I ever had a Twitter account. Adrian does, though. Or used to. Whereas I only ever used social media to keep in touch with friends and family, he used it to network and stay connected to colleagues and their work.
But strict adherence to the No-Adrian Rule hasn’t stopped me from wanting him. Which is why this job is the best choice, not just for my career, but for myself. After years of shutting Adrian out, I need to come face-to-face with the reality that there’s nothing left between us. To accept that he’s no longer mine.
This trip is the best way to achieve all my goals in a single swoop: Get back in the water with sharks. Get over Adrian. Get my career back on track and leave love in the rearview.
Zuri grabs a bowl off the open shelving and spoons oatmeal into it. “So if I told you he’s internet famous, loves taking selfies with his mega-yacht, and is best friends with that actor we love, you would be cool with it?” she asks, nonchalant, but I can sense she’s gauging my reaction.
Adrian, internet famous? When we were dating his profile picture was a shark tooth. That’s it. Not him holding up a shark tooth. Just a tooth, laying in the sand. And Adrian’s idea of a pleasure cruise is a shark tagging expedition, not lounging in a hot tub aboard a yacht. Zuri could at least come up with a plausible story if she wants me to break my years-long streak of not checking up on him.
“In that case, I hope he has a DJ on staff to spin tunes while we set lines.” I mime holding headphones to my ear, one hand on an imaginary turntable.
This earns an eye roll from Zuri, but a smile dislodges her frown. “All right, have it your way.”
Have it my way? “My way is not a summer job with my ex-boyfriend,” I tell her. “But I’m willing to do whatever it takes to get my life back.” And shark research is my life. My passion, ever since I watched my first shark documentary as a kid from a lake town who made it her goal to get to the ocean.
I spent the past couple years on a different path, and while I’m glad I saw it through, and the Great Lakes will always have my heart, they don’t have a hold on me like the ocean does. Now, more than ever, I know where I’m meant to be.
Whatever Zuri’s found out about Adrian isn’t enough to keep me here or she would’ve told me. I’m not naïve enough to think he’s been drifting through life, aimless and pining. The fact that he needs a research assistant is evidence my departure didn’t affect his career. What good would it do to check in on him now? The situation is bound to be awkward enough without me accidentally clicking “like” on a post from two years ago.
I’m about to tell her this when a loud thud wallops my eardrums, followed by thundering footsteps. Thank goodness for three small miracles. The kids’ presence will forestall any further talk of Adrian’s mythical exploits.
A whirlwind of bodies enters the room with as much force as a winter storm blowing in off the lake. Chloe dives for her mom, who sets down her coffee just in time. The boys barrel around the corner, shoulders bumping as they dart into the room. Seth’s foot slips on the tile and he crashes down in a tumble of limbs.
“Momma, Leo p-p-pushed me!”
