Page 87 of Love is an Open Book
Next to me, Kim shakes her head. “Chip didn’t come to play.”
“No losers my ass,” the man on my left says. “If I answer this honestly, Lisa will have me sleeping on the couch for a week.”
“Maybe I’ll sit this one out, too. Strength in numbers,” I tell him, but our voices must carry over the water because Mia shakes her head, rocking the inner tube.
“Don’t you dare duck out on this one, Gavin. I’m not being worst winner.”
“Admitting your feelings is the biggest win,” Chip says.
“I’ll go first,” the older woman says, raising her hand. “I wish Glen would stop telling me to be quiet when the game’s on. It’s our living room, not a library.”
“The neighbors complain, Velma. It’s common courtesy.”
“They’re just mad because they’re sticks-in-the-mud.” Without waiting for Chip’s prompting, she takes a big step forward and I fight back a smile, all the while wracking my brain for something equally innocuous.
I don’t like how Mia always waits to see what I order before choosing her own, but then complains if mine is better, as if there’s a rule that says we can’t order the same thing. It drives me nuts how she complains about watching any show without a plot. But I wouldn’t change anything about her, not really, because those things are part of her.
Finally, wanting to get things over with, I decide to keep things light. “What I’d change about our relationship is nothing, because we’re just starting out.”
“Your friendship, then,” Chip says. “Anything you’d change about that?”
“Chip’s taking no prisoners,” I hear someone say, and that’s exactly how I feel—trapped.
The day is warm, but I’m starting to get cold. The current tugs at my ankles and despite all my forward progress, I haven’t reached Mia. “Well, we’ve been friends for close to ten years, so I’d say we’re doing a pretty good job of it.”
“Sixteen years together,” says a guy out on the raft to his husband, “but I’d still change how we resolve conflicts. I taketoo long to see his perspective.” His thoughtful answer stands out in stark contrast to flippant ones. Honest and self-aware.
Suddenly I’m tired of walking this tightrope, keeping my feelings in check. “Fine, I’d change how Mia spends too much time looking for the worst-case scenario. It takes all the fun out of the moment.”
Judging by the way Ted’s eyes widen, it’s not the right choice.
“It’s called planning ahead,” Mia says. “Being prepared.”
“Or hedging your bets. You’re not willing to commit because you’re worried things won’t end well.”
“Says the man who hasn’t decided whether he’ll be changing careers and leaving the state.”
Her jab hits its mark. “I’m not doing this right now, Mia,” I say, gesturing around us at the other couples, who are hanging on our every word.
“Do you two need a moment?” Chip asks, and she shakes her head.
“No, sorry.” She attempts a smile, and I instantly regret getting defensive. “I didn’t mean to make things weird.”
“You’re good, sis,” Kim calls out, darting an irritated glance my way. Even Ted is glaring at me.
“Well, it was a little weird,” one of the guys says. “But it also makes us look better, so...” He trails off, earning a few chuckles, but most people seem tense. Mia and I just brought down the vibe in a major way, and all I want is to turn around and head out, but I’m not going to leave her stranded out there.
The inflatable tubes are only a few feet away, close enough that I can see Mia shivering, droplets of water highlighting her goose bumps. I want to make my way over and fix things. But this will never work out if she’s holding herself back. I’d give her the world if I could, but I don’t have a crystal ball. I know she believes people can fall in love. I’m just starting to wonder if she believes they can stay there.
Twenty-Eight
Mia
I’m shivering and cold, inside and out, and it’s probably even worse for Gavin, standing in waist-deep river water.
He hasn’t met my eyes since he called me out, in front of my sister and brother-in-law, of all people. This is the opposite of how I wanted things to go. I thought this would be the perfect time for a grand gesture. Confess my feelings for Gavin in front of a crowd to show him I’ve let go of my reservations and I’m not afraid of letting the whole world—in this case, a medium-sized group of strangers—know how I feel about him.
Except the moment I saw Ted, I remembered that in real life, declarations of love don’t always go as planned. If I confess my feelings, Gavin might tell me he doesn’t feel the same. Seeing Ted reminded me of that nauseating feeling of rejection. The kind of rejection that would feel infinitely worse from someone I actually love.
