Page 91 of Love is an Open Book
I take a big gulp and swallow it down, wishing for something stronger. “Yep.”
We drink our way through the six-pack with the buzz of the game in the background. Morris might be a pain sometimes, but he does know when to keep his mouth shut, and tonight, I’m grateful for it.
Mia would normally be the one showing up at my doorstep after a breakup. I think of all the times she told me there was someone better out there for me, not knowing I was hoping that someone was her. That hope is gone now, and even though I knew we couldn’t go on the way we were, I wish I could take it back. Come up with another answer. But my last thought before falling asleep is that I don’t know how to not love her.
My head is killing me. It’s the next evening, and the pounding headache I woke up with hasn’t left. Likely a combination of not bothering to hydrate after being in the sun all day, a few beers last night, and no sleep. My heart is aching, too, but I’d rather not dwell on that.
I sneeze. Possibly catching a cold from the river water, too.
Joe frowns at me. “You sure you’re up for shortstop?”
I’m not up for anything, but I need the distraction. Figures that today would be the one time they don’t put me in the outfield. “Just a little tired.”
“From the couples retreat?”
“Mmm-hmm,” I answer.
“I get it,” he says. “Between the physical challenge and the emotional work, it takes it out of you.”
“Yep.”
With one last sidelong look, he jogs over to his position at second base.
Between my headache and thoughts of Mia, I miss an easy ground ball and drop a catch that would’ve stopped a run. I’m getting glares from Joe, and it’s one thing to let myself down, but he vouched for me. Then again, he also threw us to the wolves in the form of not-a-therapist Chip. I’m so caught up in my thoughts that I nearly miss tagging a guy trying to steal second.
By the time the inning’s done, I wish I’d stayed home, and from the looks of my teammates, so do they. Back in the dugout, I ignore their scowls and take a pull from my water bottle, fingers hooked in the chain-link fence.
Next to me, Joe does the same. “I take it things didn’t go well at the retreat?”
“You could’ve warned me our relationship would be under a microscope.”
“That’s kind of the point,” he says. “Examine things. Find what’s working, and what’s not.”
“The whole thing, turns out.”
“Your friendship with Mia is rock-solid.”
I drop my water bottle in my bag and turn, sagging against the fence. “Yeah, well, we didn’t go in as friends.”
He pulls off his sunglasses, brown eyes full of concern. “You were in a fight?”
“We were...” I hesitate, because whatever I tell him, Sera will find out, one way or the other. He’s no good at keeping secrets, and this isn’t something I’d ask him to keep from his wife. But Mia worked so hard to keep it from them so we wouldn’t make things awkward. Too late for that. “We were together. We hadn’t put a label on things, but I did what you said. I told her I wanted more than friendship, but in the end, that was more than she could give.”
“All this went down at the couples retreat?”
“Afterward. Chip’s methods sort of pushed us over the edge.” I fill him in on what’s been happening between Mia and me, ending with the nightmare of the floating raft exercise.
By the time I’m done, he’s shaking his head. “I’m sorry, man. We just meant to give you a nudge.”
More like a punch in the gut. “You and Sera really liked the program?”
He glances out toward the field. Our team is next at bat, but the others are chatting, too, and no one’s made a move to start the inning. “Chip’s methods are unconventional, but we learned a lot about each other. This was more of a trial run, though. After the baby comes, we plan to sign up for some actual therapy because the transition can be a strain on the marriage.”
Despite my mood, I smile at him. “Look at you, all grown. You’re going to make an awesome dad.” I expect Joe to grin, but he looks down.
“I don’t know. I gave you terrible advice. Isn’t that half of what being a father is?”
Shit. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like your fault. You gave me a push, but I was the one who wanted more. You were right—we weren’t going to be best friends forever.”
