Page 80 of The Lovers
Do you remember the lake house?she asked, her voice raspy, her eyes drooping. I spent a few summer weeks with her out there, sunbathing on the sand and using a beat-up red canoe to explore in the deeper waters.I go there in my mind when I start to feel the grip of anxiety. That spot where the beach curved out of view of the house.
Her eyes blinked closed.
You were the only one I ever trusted enough to take there in real life.
After hours of talking, I still feel like there’s so much to learn.
Now, she’s working her way around the buffet in Zoe’s and mydirection, and I’m not paying attention to what my face is doing, but Zoe certainly is. She’s openly staring at me staring at Kit, mouth agape.
“Why are you making that face?” I ask under my breath.
“No way,” she hisses. She looks from me to Kit and back. “You and Mystic Maven.”
“That’s not her name.”
“Oh. My. God.”
Kit approaches with her plate piled high. Eggs, bacon, a croissant, and a “breakfast salad,” which is just salad at a different time of day. Our eyes connect and suddenly I don’t care if Zoe sees me blush and therefore knows I’m acting a fool all because of Kit.
“Good morning,” she says. She smiles and light catches on her translucent lip gloss. She flicks her gaze to Zoe, who does not fix her face. Kit’s brows quirk. “Hello, Zoe, ready for the big day?”
I elbow Zoe. She’s too busy staring to notice.
“She’s had one too many espressos,” I say.
“It’s going to be a gorgeous day,” Zoe chimes in. Finally.
Kit looks between us. I know she knows. I pray to any god who will listen that she doesn’t make this a thing. Kit nibbles on her lip, but it’s clearly just to bite back her growing smirk.
“See you ladies in a bit,” she says. I don’t exhale relief, but I sure as hell feel it.
As soon as Kit is gone, I turn to Zoe. I really can’t believe I’m about to do this, but I am. I motion for her to follow me through the restaurant, through the lobby, and out in front of the hotel entrance. The fountain bubbles behind me when I turn to face her.
“Yes, Kit and I are a thing,” I say. “We have a history, like, ancient history, and seeing her this weekend has totally thrown mefor a loop and sent me spiraling down memory lane and made me realize I still have feelings for her, and it turns out she’s into me, too.”
Phew. It feels surprisingly good to say it out loud.
Zoe squeals and wriggles, reminding me of a seal who found the perfect sunny spot on the shore. She grips my hands and bounces up and down. She’s genuine. She’s happy for me. Warmth spreads across my chest as I watch her face break into the biggest, brightest smile. What the fuck is this feeling? It’s a little like nausea, but a lot like drinking hot cocoa by a fire—comforting and sweet.
“Julia, this is incredible. I’m so happy to see you happy—and distracted.” She adds the last bit with a shy smile. “You left the rehearsal and didn’t have your walkie on last night. When you texted me that I was in charge until morning, I fully expected you to recant, show up at the takedown, or text me at three a.m. with a list of things I’d done incorrectly.”
I want to be offended but I can’t be. Everything she just said is one hundred percent something I would do (or have done).
“I don’t want to be disrespectful,” she adds, but I can feel thebutin there. “I think you make it harder on yourself when you insist on retaining control. There’s a cost, and despite your ability to deliver on your superhigh standards, I don’t see how that will be sustainable when you’re running your own business.”
She braces for her words to sink in.
I lock her in my sights. “How long have you known?”
“Pretty much since you started the Instagram.”
“Okay, wow, I’m just gonna blow past that.” I suck in air through my nostrils and let it out in a meditative huff. “What’s your honest opinion?” Zoe’s expression sharpens; she clears herthroat. Every move lets me know that this is the opportunity she has been waiting for.
“You’re the best, and not just that I’ve worked for at the agency. I follow all the wedding TikToks, am up on the goings-on in the LA scene and beyond, and your work is impeccable. And I think that’s because you get that what makes a good wedding isn’t delivering on some laundry list of moments. It’s not following trends or being ahead of them, even.” Her eyes get cloudy and I wish I could look away from the display of emotion, but Zoe’s vulnerability makes me respect her more. “What makes a good wedding is the people at the heart of it. The two people choosing each other, hoping it will be forever.”
“Turning two into a family,” I reply with the words I’ve held secret in my heart for so long about why I want to branch out on my own. Yes, it’s for more control, but it’s not the kind of control that can’t let anyone help. It’s the kind that creates such a strong vision that others want to help make it a reality.
“I’m just saying, if you want a right-hand woman, I’d like to be that.”
