Page 80 of The Sun and the Moon
She shifts, scooting closer. Her hands cover mine.
“I never talk about my mom,” she says, her voice tentative. “Not to anyone.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to.” Her eyes trip up to mine. The softest, sweetest blue. “I had this goldfish when I was younger. My mom had gotten it for me before she got sick, and she helped set up the tank, taught me all the care instructions, everything.” I’m listening intently, her eyes never leaving my face. “But her health declined rapidly—maybe she had been sick for a long time and I just didn’t know.”
Her eyes sheen with tears she’s trying not to cry.
“And even though she could hardly stay awake, she’d still bring up the fish. Every day—did you check the filter? Don’t forget to feed Flounder—”
“Excellent name,” I break in. Tears tug from my eyes to skate down my cheeks.
“I couldn’t keep her from what was to come, but the goldfish—I could do everything right, follow the rules of care. I could show her I could handle it on my own. I could show her I was fine, fully capable.” Her thumb brushes the tears from my cheek. “But I wasn’t. And Flounder died the same week my mom did, because I forgot a simple step in his care. I was so determined to show her I could do it on my own that I killed him.”
“Goldfish are surprisingly difficult to keep alive,” I reply. I chuckle, but it’s small and embarrassed.
“We need people, Cadence. As scary as it is to be vulnerable.” Her voice cracks. She takes me in her arms. “I push people away, too. It just looks different on me. But if she’s reaching out, and you think you can handle it to reach back—”
I press my lips to hers, but not to silence her.
To thank her.
She smiles against my mouth.
“I spent most of my life up until I left LA trying to hold Moira close—or figure out what it was that I could do to get her to hold me close,” I say, my voice rough. “I’m just scared that she’ll let me down.”
Growing up, I knew I was important to my mom. I saw how much pride she took in me. But I also saw how she was always willing to put her needs first. Her agenda. Her wishes. I just wanted her to put me first, even if what I wanted wasn’t what she thought I should do.
“I don’t know if Moira is going to let you down,” she says. “In piloting, we learn to analyze flight paths to seek out the best possible routes given the ever-changing factors of the skies. What if the skies have changed and all you need to do now is look for the best way forward?”
“Forward.” I mull the word over in my mind.
“You’re almost smiling,” she says.
She presses her lips to the edge of mine. She’s still holding on to my back with one hand, which she now uses to tug me on top of her. Our bodies crush together as she peppers me with kisses down my neck.
I can’t stop the giggle that breaks free.
Her laugh is almost as intoxicating as her eyes.
And then her phone begins to buzz.
She peers around behind me to where it sits on the blanket.
“It’s my dad,” she says, groaning. She reaches around me, and the move causes me to fall back against the blanket. She hoversover me, boobs mounding from the top of her dress, which is still untied from earlier.
“What a view,” I breathe. She cackles as she drops back to a seated position, taking the view away.
“Hey, Dad,” she says, the chuckle still in her voice.
I can’t make out what he’s saying, but I can hear that he’s chipper to the extreme. She listens, nodding a couple of times. “Yeah, Cadence is going to the winery with her mom.” She grins at me, and I roll my eyes. “A horse ride?” She nibbles her lower lip for a second. “Sure, that sounds nice, Dad.”
Looks like we both have dates with our parents.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Sydney
