Page 107 of Pretend
Red and puffed cheeks.
Dark under eyes.
Yeah. I’m a mess.
Who could be at my door right now?
I look through the peephole and see my mother standing there with her sunglasses on, pressed lips, and folded arms that look ready to pull my hair. She’s in a floral blouse and black leggings, with low-top heels.
Well…crap.
I take a deep breath in and open the door.
The sun’s rays blind me momentarily, and I raise my hand to block it out.
“Mom…please, I got back from Iraq not too long ago, and I would really like to rest.” I yawn and stretch my arms over my head.
“I’m coming inside. We need to talk.” She quips as she brushes past me and walks into my home without another word, even though I didn’t invite her in. She will not leave here without giving me a piece of her mind, and I don’t expect anything less from my mom, who radiates black-cat energy.
She’s strong, independent, and doesn’t take crap from anyone…and somehow, I came up short whenever I tried to meet her expectations.
She enters my living room and places her sunglasses on my coffee table. I trudge to the couch and let myself fall onto the other couch in front of my furniture. I sit in the corner, far away from her, preparing for her to cuss me out in Spanish.
“Look, ma, I’m a grown woman. I messed up. I know I did, and I’m sorry. I feel disgusted with myself.”
She turns to me, and just when I think she’s going to glare daggers at me or raise her voice, she meets me with eyes of understanding.
“Did I ever tell you the story of how I met Henry?” She asks.
I shake my head.
“No, you didn’t…but honestly, I never asked because I really don’t care to know anything about him. You know how I feel about the divorce from my father. My dad still loved you, and you left him for Ravenmore. At least that’s Dad’s side of the story.” I mutter indignantly.
“Well, I guess that sums up most of it, but…it was more complicated than that.” She finally sits down on the other side of the living room and tucks her legs into her thighs.
“Yes. To your father, I was a villain. I guess. We had ended things right before I went on my first deployment. He watched over you while I left for Afghanistan because you were only three years old. He was angry I was leaving, not at me specifically but at our situation. We were still freshly married, and my job was a whirlwind. He was forced to leave his home in Illinois. That’s where we met, remember? But because I had orders to Virginia, he followed me…he didn’t like that he was giving up on his plans to make our relationship work.”
“Yes, I know. He did tell me that. The military lifestyle was not for him, but because he loved you and me, he stuck around longer than he wanted to…he said he tried to keep us all together, but the deployment was the last straw for him.”
She nods while staring at her sunglasses. Then she flicks her hazel eyes at me.
“He left me while I was deployed. He sent me divorce papers without giving me a chance to save our marriage…but then again, I was already at a point where I knew if I tried to save it, it would have been a lie. I was heartbroken and sad about our situation because I knew our divorce would affect you. I signed them and sent them back. We were divorced within months, we worked together to reach a mutual understanding, and our divorce went smoothly and quickly. Right before my deployment ended, I found solace in Henry.”
Is she trying to imply that history is repeating itself in some way? A workplace romance…like Daegan and I?
“Are you telling me you fell in love withyour boss?”
She swallows passively. “Yes.”
I remember her telling me they met when she was an Ensign and he was a Commander.
“I’m not mad, Alessia. I came here to tell you that everything will be okay. And to do better next time. Don’t repeat the same mistakes.”
I look away from her as a lump forms in my throat.
“He’s married mom. This is different because he’s married. I didn’t know. Henry wasn’t married, was he?”
She shakes her head. “No.” She gets up from the couch and walks over to me. The tears I’ve been fighting fall down, and I can’t look at my mother. I feel disgusted with myself. Memories of Daegan flash through my mind—our night of stargazing when he told me about his personal life.
