Page 118 of Pretend
“Then why have you been stalking me? How long have you been watching me?” I scream at him, putting up concrete walls between us with my tone.
He looks at me, and with a clenched jaw, a tear falls down his cheek. An unstable version of himself cracks and unfolds before me; this time, he’s letting me see this version of himself.
“I’m not afraid to show you how much I love you anymore. I wasn’t lying when I said you’ve consumed me, Alessia Sahara. Everyone calls me a freak, a blind robot that only knows how to shoot. But ever since I met you, I’ve let the dark parts of myself take over because it feels good to love someone who makes you feel like you belong in a world with an unforgiving system.” He looks at me, and I’m about to break. I lower the gun as I listen to his voice tremble with his blatant, raw confession. “I…I don’t know how to love you in a way that society deems normal. I’m not normal.” He concedes with a heartbroken truth that rattles his deep voice. “Why would I want normal for us? Fuck what society tells me. I want you dangerously. Everything about you, all the time. Let me love you until the end of time in my own way.”
“But…” I start, but he doesn’t let me finish.
“I take my job very seriously. I go above and beyond the task, always. So when you were assigned to me by Ravenmore, it pissed me off. Nonetheless, I said yes because this team, this job, is the reason I breathe. At least it was the reason I breathed until I saw you for the first time. I watched you to find out who exactly Alessia Valentin is. I wanted to know who I’m going to be stuck with for the next few months…I had to know. So yes, you intrigued me. I fell for you hard, and I tried to snap myself out of it time and time again, but I failed. I’m not here to hurt you in the ways you’re accusing me of.”
But the memories of the text messages come back and make me want to hide again. I need time to think. I need space to figure out what my next step is. Everything is going at warp speed. I just got sent back home on my first deployment for fucking him. I raise the gun back at him, unsure of what to believe.
He did lie about being married.
He could be lying to me now!
“Daegan! It is you! You’re the one who’s capable of doing all this. You’re a liar! You’ve lied to me before, and you’re doing it again! You’re the one everyone is looking for. It does make sense! This all started when you showed up on the Executioners team! All along, it’s been you sending me these text messages! You even sent me text messages framing yourself at the shooting range in Iraq! Why would you do that? To make sure I didn’t think it was you?”
His brows furrow, and his whole body stiffens.
“Alessia. When you deployed to Iraq, I stopped sending you text messages. That wasn’t me.” His towering frame tenses up, and he starts to walk toward me.
“Everyone warned me about you, Daegan! And I defended you over and over again! How could you do this to your team?To me? Don’t fucking come near me!”
“Alessia, please, baby, let me touch you. God, let me fucking touch you, or I’ll die if I don’t.”
His vicinity is suffocating, but I’m not sure if it’s in a good or bad way yet. I’m still trying to process everything and protect myself. Something I’ve been failing to do.
He steps closer and is about to grab me as I step back. His hand reaches for mine, but he doesn’t get to hold it as the tip of my gun touches his chest, and I feel like everything is in slow motion.
I lower my gun again, crying as I move, and he looks at me with so much intensity that it’s intimidating.
Do I believe him? Do I hear him out? What do I do?
“Let me touch you.” He tells me again, his gaze so serious and demanding that I think I’m going to fall apart. “Don’t run. Trust me. Let me live by choosing to love my nightmares, my scars, my broken soul.” He pleads. “No one has shown me that they’re willing to accept my blackened heart after everything I’ve been through. Please tell me that I have found that in you, Valentine?”
He walks closer, and I’m hot and cold all over.
“I don’t need a lamp. I don’t need the fan off. Don’t you get it, baby? I don’t need anything in this world.But I need you.”
I fall apart and lower my gun slightly, but then a loud pop makes me jump. My bones rattle, and my ears ring as I watch Daegan’s body fall to the ground, bringing me down with him. His eyes widen, and I grow cold and confused. Shit, did I shoot him on accident with my overdriven heart?
I didn’t pull the trigger! What just happened?
Blood splatters and leaks everywhere on his grey kitchen cabinets. Daegan goes limp, and I don’t get a chance to examine or even fucking breathe before I’m screaming. My hair gets pulled as I try to grab for Daegan as he lays in a small puddle of crimson, and it only grows by the second.
I’m scratching at the person who is dragging me by my hair, their hand gripped at the scalp, and I’m shrieking as my knees scrape the kitchen floor.
Then I feel hot breaths bite the skin on the base of my ear. “Now, how about that date, Alessia?” He coos cruelly.
That voice. That rough, menacing voice has me trembling.
Gabe.
47
DAEGAN
“Let me go, Gabe!”
